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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

re teacher's presents

91 replies

wandymum · 28/06/2013 17:17

Our class had a collection for the teacher and we'd agreed we'd get vouchers with it so she could choose something she'd actually like/need.

There was a pool of about £200 and I've just heard that the vouchers are for... Harvey Nicholls.

AIBU to think that's insane!

She's probably not paid a fortune and so giving her vouchers for a shop selling only high-end designer luxuries seems crazy. Also does Harvey Nicks actually sell anything costing under £200?

OP posts:

Snowyelephantshavewrinkles · 28/06/2013 20:41

forever why not split he 300 50/50 between TA and teacher? Teachers on average get paid over 4 times more than a TA, from that perspective I don't know why a TA gets less of a gift.

EarlyInTheMorning · 28/06/2013 20:41

I think collections should be used to buy resources for the classroom and that's it.
Mumsnet should start a campaign to stop class collections.

Snowyelephantshavewrinkles · 28/06/2013 20:42

OP I would say a Next voucher wold have been better

moustachio · 28/06/2013 20:46

my mums a ta and always gets upset that the mums value the teacher more than her, by buying her a gift and not my mum! in the past she's had m&s vouchers which seem a better idea than harvey nicks!

greenfolder · 28/06/2013 20:47

i swear i live in a parallel universe. i have had school age children for the last 15 years and never once have i heard of a class rep, or indeed a collection for a teacher. my youngest is in reception- is a hand made thank you card and a plant or similar no longer allowed? (feels very old)

wigglesrock · 28/06/2013 21:17

I buy the TA and teacher exactly the same thing - wine. If they don't drink it, they can pass it on. I'm sure it'll find a home

OrangeJuiceSandwich · 28/06/2013 21:37

Moustachio, why does she get upset? They're not doing the same job!

I just don't think most parents see the 2 roles on an equal footing. In DS's class only one person is doing any actual teaching.

uniqueatlast · 28/06/2013 21:39

When I was a wet-behind-the-ears inexperienced teacher, I saw a colleague receive a collection and felt a bit jealous.

10 years later and I would be absolutely mortified if I was on the receiving end of a parent collection like that.

Yes we get paid, but it is a job where I put lot of emotional effort in as well as what is expected of me, thus it is lovely to see that my efforts are appreciated by parents.

A card with a well thought out message from the parents and a picture or something (not food) made by the child is the best present - something that they have given time to rather than money.

A bottle of wine is always much enjoyed but it is the thought that I will always remember.

Emilythornesbff · 28/06/2013 21:46

I am not a teacher (time for a change obviously) but I think I would be embarrassed to receive a gift of such value.
It must also be hard for some families to cough up the cash.
The whole thing makes me cringe.

YADNBU.

froggies · 28/06/2013 21:59

It was our last day today. DD2 had her last day in nursey and her and DD1 spent ages making a card for the staff in the nursery before school this morning.

DD2 was so excited to give it to them, and one of them commented on how much work had gone into it. I had a wee tear in eye just watching (Have done almost 6 years of drop off/pcik ups and occasional volunteerng at nursery with my kids and mindees, and as it stands just now, it will be my last day at nursery too).

My reason for making a card as opposed to buying a present is purly that I am perpetually skint, but when I used to teach, a wee note had much more impact than money being spent. £200 sounds like a huge amount, I would have been hugely embarrassed by a gift that large.

CloudsAndTrees · 28/06/2013 22:02

The TAs have a huge amount of contact with the children, especially in the lower years. You don't see them before and after school so parents barely notice them, but I can promise you the children do.

SuburbanRhonda · 28/06/2013 22:06

orangejuice, re your comments about TAs - you're not Michael Gove, are you?

Viviennemary · 28/06/2013 22:14

I think it's far far too much and teachers aren't that badly paid. But that's up to the parents. I think it's OK to give vouchers for HN. I'm sure she will find something nice there. But John Lewis would be better.

Suzieismyname · 28/06/2013 22:22

We were told that there's not much difference between TAs and teachers in Reception. As far as the children are concerned, that is. My DD1 adores her TA and I will give exactly the same to each (£3 in total).

RinkyDinkyDoo · 28/06/2013 22:31

Don't have a TA in class,but am job share.My partner and I got a £10 M&S voucher each from one child at Christmas,we were astounded at the generosity. Honestly, a thank you card is enough and nothing is totally acceptable as well.

sweetestcup · 28/06/2013 22:35

This is all mad! Group collections? £200? Whats this all about! Nothing wrong with a card and chocs, or a small gift if you want, wheres all this forced OTT

Im a Psychiatric Nurse and occasional receive small but thoughtful gifts which I'm deeply touched about. Apart from the fact I couldn't accept money or vouchers and would have to hand them back I think something individual means more, this group collection of money just strikes me as so wrong.

Tinpin · 28/06/2013 23:30

Notes from parents saying how much they have appreciated your efforts are the best thing any teacher can have. I cherish mine. Cards from the children are lovely. Small presents are obviously appreciated. £200 is just wrong!

ladymariner · 29/06/2013 00:29

I'm a TA and believe me, orangejuice the kids definitely know we're there and the teachers would definitely know if we weren't!

gintastic · 29/06/2013 00:43

My DD is just about to finish reception, we donated £10 each (17 in the class). It was split equally between the teacher and the TA, we got them each a plaque with the children's fingerprints on, names and year, and the rest in M&S vouchers. I didn't think that was too OTT, it is a naice middle class area though...

GW297 · 29/06/2013 00:47

The teacher will be delighted both with such a lovely gift and the effort taken to coordinate a whole class gift. I usually buy something to remember the class by such as a picture or a mirror when I am fortunate enough to receive vouchers.

ilovesooty · 29/06/2013 02:09

She now needs to report that gift to her HT, LA and HMRC. She will be liable to pay tax on it. We got an email about this last week. There's a real crackdown going on by HMRC. Anything over £25 has to be reported as a gift in public service

The sooner these obscene gifts are banned the better.

Eastpoint · 29/06/2013 06:37

I think people are forgetting the parents are trying to give the teacher a present to say thank you, not trying to show off, belittle the teacher and/or the TA etc. If you don't want to join in the collection just say 'What a pity DC & I have already chosen/made a present, maybe next time'. The people who want to make a nice card/biscuits will do that as well as the collection, the people who really don't have any spare time can just sign the group card. Far better that a HN voucher is given which she can use on anything than a single expensive gift which might not be too her taste - I know of a teacher who was given a handbag, something IMO far too personal.

At my DDs senior school the official line is no teacher presents. However my DD & her friends bought a bracelet for their tutor, they gave £1 each & found her something pretty for £11.

DontmindifIdo · 29/06/2013 07:28

See, I don't think £7 each is a big sum to put in a collection, a nice bottle of wine could cost more, esp once you factor in buying gift wrap. My mum was a primary school teacher, Christmas and end of term she'd arrive home with 20+ boxes of chocolates. In now money most would be over a fiver, collecting that together as a joint gift does make more sense (although db and I loved the chocolate mountain, he'd take all the white chocolate, I'd have the dark).

DontmindifIdo · 29/06/2013 07:30

Kennyp- you could shop online....

MrsMook · 29/06/2013 07:32

Staples vouhers would be much more appropriate; you could then use them to subsidise the stationary stocks for the next year. Parents say thank you, teacher spares their own money, everyone's a winner

(I'm clearly in the wrong area of teaching- by age group and location!)

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