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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pissing off the neighbours with the parking...

62 replies

deleted203 · 27/06/2013 22:47

I'll try to keep to the basics. We have detached house with driveway on busy main road. Directly opposite us is a small cul de sac with bungalows full of retired folks. Because our drive will only take mine and DHs vehicle, DD1 has been parking her car across the road in the cul de sac, as there is nowhere else to leave it. She isn't across anyone's drive, they all have garages/drives, there are no yellow lines and she varies where she parks so that she isn't constantly in front of the same house.

However, we have had one gentleman come over the road to complain to us about this on more than one occasion. Apparently all the residents are fed up with this. We have been polite and asked if it is causing him problems, and he has said it isn't - but that everyone in the cul de sac is complaining that her car is always there. (He is actually the house on the junction and DD has never parked in front of his house, as it is obviously not a good place to leave a car!). We have pointed out that her car is taxed, MOT and insured and that it is not illegal for her to park there. We have explained that we have no wish to fall out with neighbours, but there is not really another place for her to park, particularly if she is on a late shift and arrives home at, say, 2.00am. His suggestion is that we speak to the hotel half a mile away and ask if she can leave her car there!

I understand that it can be annoying if someone parks their car outside your house, particularly if they are regularly doing so - but I'm at my wits end as to what to do. DHs opinion is that I should tell them to 'fuck off and live with it' but I don't want to fall out with people. So, AIBU? Should DD be looking for somewhere else to park? She could, actually, legally park outside our own house as there are no yellow lines, but we are on a bend on a fast main road and frankly, although legal, it would be a stupidly dangerous place to leave a car and would be likely to cause an accident.

AIBU to tell her to try to ignore the black looks - and if anyone challenges her, that she is simply to politely say that she is legally parked?

OP posts:

dippymother · 27/06/2013 23:30

This could be us!

We have only been in our house for three months and have 5 cars between the four of us. We're on a main road (extremely dangerous to park on the main road) with a cul-de-sac just beside the next door neighbour's house (same side of road).

When we moved in our drive would only fit three cars, even though there was the possibility of more parking if various large conifers and flower beds were removed.

At first we parked two cars in the cul-de-sac along the garden wall of the next-door neighbour. Within FOUR days of our arrival, next-door neighbour knocked to enquire about how long, etc we would be parking next to his house because it was inconvenient for him to park on his drive as the garage/driveway is at the end of his garden and he prefers to park on the cul-de-sac, because it was nearer to his front door. We were very polite and explained that we did intend to get all cars on our driveway when we could sort out the removal of trees etc. We have since done this and all cars are now off the road but I must say I was rather surprised to be approached in this manner after only four days after our arrival, though I was aware that parking in the cul-de-sac wouldn't be viable long-term. Maybe the fact that the previous owner of our house only had one car and had never caused him issues???

I am well aware of the legalities - we had moved from a house situated 6 minutes walk from the mainline station and had commuters parking outside our homes for 12 hours per day Monday to Friday. But because we're new to this area, I didn't want to irritate more than necessary - I would have loved to have told him to shove off though!

Original poster

deleted203 · 27/06/2013 23:34

Becky It is hideously yellow! Are men colour blind? Or simply immune to caring?

OP posts:

SingingSands · 27/06/2013 23:42

Good suggestion about parking the van in the cul-de-sac instead. Just for a week or so ;)

LindyHemming · 28/06/2013 05:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MidniteScribbler · 28/06/2013 05:08

You can park wherever you want. But if she's getting in at 2am, then could she actually be disturbing the other residents - loud music, banging doors, clattering around? Perhaps if she's going to be getting home at 2am, you could park in the cul de sac and let her park in the driveway? I'd probably feel safer with my child being able to park right in front of my house and not having to walk at that time of the night anyway.

Beakiebum · 28/06/2013 05:15

Love the van idea!!!!! Can we have an update if u decide to try it?!? Seriously this neighbour sounds like an old fart, and ur daughter sounds v considerate, he's just going to have to like it or lump it

Jengnr · 28/06/2013 08:46

Just say 'I'm not sure what you're complaining about', you've said it doesn't cause a problem' and go your own sweet way.

Or the van idea. That is genius.

TweedWasSoLastYear · 28/06/2013 09:36

I guess DD works shifts and somtimes comes in late?
Some oldies probably get woken up by headlights across the curtains , radio noise , door shutting , and alarm pipping.
See if its possible to rotate the cars so when it is late she could just swing straight onto your driveway?

Not legally neccessary as no- one owns the public highway outside their house , although many think they do ( its not private road is it???)

Smiling and waving goes a long way too , even if you look like a nutter doing it.

FriskyHenderson · 28/06/2013 09:46

Park the van there!

My friend lives opposite someone who occasionally parks a very large very red Coca Cola-liveried mobster truck van on his own drive. Their mutual neighbour came round and asked her what she thought they should do about it. Because clearly you shouldn't be able to park what you want to on your own drive.

Shutupanddrive · 28/06/2013 09:51

YANBU and please park the van there instead!

RobotBananas · 28/06/2013 09:51

Yes, maybe it is the parking at night that annoys them. Parking the huge yellow van there should sort it out

Fenton · 28/06/2013 09:56

I can see this from both sides.

Your daughter is not doing anything wrong and is trying to be considerate by sharing her parked car about the close.

But there is something inexplicably annoying about having a car which isn't yours parked outside your house. This annoyance is greater a) if you live in a close and b) if you live in a close inhabited by mostly retired people.

I know this because I live in a close of mostly retired people and have been very nicely told off by my neighbours for parking surplus cars on the road, they don't want to sit in their front rooms looking at a campervan all day apparently. All cars are on drives or garaged, never parked on the close so when someone does park there it sticks out like a sore thumb. Even I have been known to peer out my front window at strange cars mumbling 'who the hec has been parked out there all day??'

It's a strange phenomenon.

FoxyHarlow123 · 28/06/2013 10:03

Retired folk and parking. They have fuck all else to do in the day so become militant about parking. Next time they say anything, come undone like a crazy woman on crack cocaine. That should send em scurrying off to twitch behind their net curtains again.

limitedperiodonly · 28/06/2013 10:20

Ignore the silly man.

Unfortunately, sometimes you do have to fall out with people. Otherwise you end up tying yourself in knots as their demands become ever more outrageous - like parking half a mile away.

I doubt she's being especially noisy because you asked if there were any specific problems and he said no.

Oldraver · 28/06/2013 11:02

I would point out again that she is parking in a place she considers safe and as long as she isnt bothered anyone (with a genuine complaint) she will continue to do so. I may be inclined to point out his behaviour is harrasment, which it is if he is just moaning for no particuar reason.

I live in a small road mostly bunaglows, where almost all cars are parked on drives. My next-door-but-1 parks on the road though has room on his drive, (I dont know why). He got pissy if anyone ever parked on the road near his house and would block you in with his two cars. It actually looked quite funny as the rest of the road would be empty and then two cars touching the blocked one. I just dont knwo what possessed him to get arsey as there is loads of room not like we're fighting for space.

When our developement was built, 7, 4 bed family houses at the end of a road of small bungalows, I thought that when the teens grew up there would be parking issues but this has never materialised so I think arsey man getting huffy over the odd car once in a blue moon outside his house is a tad overboard. He was ok the first 4 years we were here, and I think he was wound up by a new neighbour

Oldraver · 28/06/2013 11:03

Sorry that should say........ and as long as she isnt bothering anyone

Glittertwins · 28/06/2013 11:38

If your DH is always back before DD, get him to park his van there so DD can use the drive. I bet man will not try and intimidate him!
We have a man who has a van a similar size who parks at the end of our road. He lives in the next road down the hill. Our road has off road parking for all houses either drive plus garage or garage only (for 3 houses). His road has virtually no off road parking so he parks where it causes hardly any problem for us and zero for his neighbours. Both roads are permit controlled and his van has the permit. He can therefore park where he likes and is considerate to all.

hamilton75 · 28/06/2013 11:50

Be polite but firm. She is legally parked and not blocking anyone. Next time tell him nicely you'll get the police/council highways officer to advise him about the legalities of the parking and leave it at that.

My mum (no car as she is partially sighted now) moved into a very posh new mill conversion. DH and I parked our car in the signposted visitor space when we visited for the first time (it is straight outside her little garden area). She came over and immediately after introducing herself requested that we park elsewhere as she paid £400,000 (untrue I checked the land registry lol) for her apartment and didn't want to have to stare at a car. The bloody nerve really as she bought knowing there was a visitors place with a blooming big sign there. Some people are so up their own arses.

HeathRobinson · 28/06/2013 12:05

I think the issue is more to do with her coming back at 2 in the morning and the noise of the car, shutting the door etc, possibly coupled with older people being lighter sleepers.

My previous neighbour used to be a taxi driver during the day. Then someone else started driving his taxi at night. He'd park outside my house - no problem. But - he'd come back at 2 am, in a noisy diesel taxi, parking on my neighbour's drive; have a chit chat with the neighbour and then get into his car, slamming the door. Never did seem to shut it reasonably.

The whole thing seemed to do something to my sleep pattern. I'm rarely asleep before 2 these days.

persimmon · 28/06/2013 12:10

I live in a cul de sac and people here have been known to leave notes on windscreens and the like when 'their' spaces were taken. It's a cul de sac thing.

ruby1234 · 28/06/2013 12:20

Someone used to park a bus outside our house at the other side of the road in a layby. It was a tour type bus, and every morning he got in it at 6am and revved the engine. Even though he was, technically, on a public road, it was very annoying to be woken every morning.
I complained to him one evening when he was leaving it, and he asked me where he was supposed to leave it. I suggested outside his own house, but he said his neighbours had complained, and anyway, he could park it outside our house as his son lived further up the same street and did not mind!
I rang the number on the bus and told the bus depot I was not happy. They must have had a word with him about it because he never left it there again, but he did give me evil stares whenever I saw him!

Sorry, completely irrelevant to the post!

Donnadoon · 28/06/2013 12:22

Please park the van there instead!

Noseynoonoo · 28/06/2013 12:26

Please please have your DH park his van there.

They have said they don't like DD's car and this will facilitate her parking away from cul-de-sac and pleasing everyone :-)

If they complain about the van, and the little man comes over, tell him you'll send your DH over to talk about it when he returns (because little man has worked out that he can bully you and will only knock on your door when DH is out).

Really though, I'd rather my daughter parked on my drive if coming back at 2am. It's the safest thing and that is of the greatest importance.

TravelinColour · 28/06/2013 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddiemairswife · 28/06/2013 12:47

I don't drive. I'm retired. I live in a cul de sac. I don't care who parks where. I'm also not bothered by being woken by cars, foxes, owls etc.

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