AIBU to not want to smack my child??

[KenyanSunrise]

I am so angry and fruatrated.

I do not believe in smacking, I do not like seeing children get smacked and it makes me feel unconfortable.

My ds is only little so I don't pretend to have all the answers when it comes to disciplining but I do know that I as a parent do not want to smack my little boy.

This topic has come up a few times since my ds has been born and I have always stuck by my view when challenged on it.

Today is the final straw.

I was having a conversation with my sil about a family event that will taking place soon. It will require my ds to sit down for the best part of 2 hours without running around. My ds is 14 months old.

I said that i will take toys and a snack/drink for him but that if he started to cry I would take him out as I didnt want to disturb the other families that will be there.

I was once again for the hundrenth time told that, 'I need to think about starting to smack ds as if I don't he will always get the better of me'.

I am sick of repeating myself. I know I am a first time mum and I have a lot to learn but surely, with a subject as emotive as smacking and disciplining I should not have to keep justifying my choices.

I do not tell her how to raise her children, I wouldn't dream of it. So why does she feel the need to keep on at me?

Thanks if you've read this far, I know it's long winded for what is I guess a few short questions.

AIBU to think a 14 month old baby can be disciplined without resorting to smacking?

AIBU to think that even if you are a parent that agrees with smacking, what can a 14 month old actually do to 'deserve' one?

And finally AIBU to just want to be left alone with my parenting choices as they are not harming or effecting anyone else?

I guess I am so fruatrated because if it was coming from my own side of the family I could just explain how i feel a little more robustly, where as as its my sil I feel like I have to be slightly more reserved :(

I really just want to know if I am being too pfb I guess as well.

YANBU.

Your SIL is a nutter.

I will admit there are times when my DC drove me so insane (at a much older age) I would have happily hit them. But because I don't want to ever hit them, I didn't.

AIBU to think a 14 month old baby can be disciplined without resorting to smacking?

I don't think a 14 mo can be disciplined with smacking. They will just cry, surely.

YANBU - how people parent is their business (although the result of parenting (ie the general behaviour) - good or bad - is everyone's business when the DCs are integrating into society and growing up

YANBU, and thank God for the sanity of MN (I found myself embroiled in a Facebook 'discussion' about this today. I know, I know. It started as a book discussion, and I happened to mention in relation to an event in the book that I have never smacked my kids and never will. This elicited a furious outburst from a woman who insisted that it is impossible to raise children without smacking, and that prisons are full of people who weren't "thrashed" enough as kids )

Those who do rely on smacking don't want to believe that it is unnecessary. They prefer to believe that children who don't get smacked are spoilt brats who have their own way in everything because clearly there are no other ways to discipline

It gets my goat because they can get so defensive about it, and it is so very, very illogical; I tend to go with:

I wouldn't hit my spouse
I wouldn't hit a friend
I wouldn't hit a colleague
I wouldn't hit a stranger

Because all of these people are protected by law. Why? Because we live in a society which understands that violence is unacceptable, regardless of circumstances. So why would I hit my child? How does hitting a child teach that violence is unacceptable? It is just senseless. All it teaches is that if someone is bigger, stronger or in a position of authority, they can hit you to make you do what they want

Oh, and to "I was smacked and it never did me any harm" I say something like "well my Uncle Alf smoked 60 a day all his life and lived to 97, doesn't mean smoking is the secret to a long life!"

So YADNBU! Stick to your guns!

And if, as you say, your choices don't affect anyone else, it really is only the business of you and your DP - the other family members can butt out (unless they are that mythical creature the "perfect parent" of course!