AIBU re school holiday rules... Please judge!

[loopyluna]

My 13 yr old and 11 yr old have already broken up for 2 long months...

I work freelance and am around a lot of the time but will need to leave them home alone now and then. They are both sensible and trustworthy (11 year old just is, 13 year old has learnt to be!)

These are my rules (subject to mumsnet approval!)

1. 13 year old allowed out to play with friends at village football pitch (10 min walk) as long as he texts me to let me know and is back by set time.

1. 11 year old not allowed to "roam the streets" but allowed friends over if she checks with me first and makes sure friends' parents know I'm not there. They are allowed to play in the garden or in her bedroom.

(She has phone numbers of 2 nearby neighbours in case of problem.)

1. Both are allowed to go to the village small outdoor pool (5 mins on foot) provided they go there and back together. There is a lifeguard and lots of neighbours and school friends are always there. They are both confident in water and good swimmers. (It is only open afternoon and I am never home later than 4pm so I will probably meet them there when they do go.)

1. NOT allowed -bikes -none of DS' friends wear helmets and I don't completely trust him to wear his if I'm not on his back about it, so prefer no bike rule. DD is (imo) too small to ride on the road unsupervised.

Anything obvious I'm missing? Is this reasonable enough?

Cooking/using appliances?

Personally I don't think you can say that one can go out and the other cant ,with the same rules . If they're sensible enough to be home alone I would think they're sensible enough to be out locally . Not sure about the bike thing either ,if you trust them to be home alone surely you can trust them to put a helmet on .

Rules about the food and amount of friends allowed in at one time would probably be good!

But other then that they seem fair enough.

Cooking -no need, I'm home at lunchtime. No need for appliances other than fridge, since they don't drink hot drinks or anything.

My eldest has only started going out to play footie since last summer, aged 12. DD is fine about it as not many of her friends play out either as, sadly, the footie pitch seems to be "boy territory"!

Re the helmet thing is a biggie for me and I just don't want to take the risk.

No answering the phone (unless know who the caller is)
Ditto house-callers.
Lock up if they leave the house.
Take a key!
No cooking or boiling a kettle under any circumstances. Only cold food and toast via a toaster allowed.

Sounds good to me. I left mine alone at those ages. They used to cook ,but had to clear up after themselves.
I insisted on regular texts if going out.

All sounds fine apart from the pool. Unless you go with them and check that the lifeguard hasn't gone off sick etc.

Yep, phone is ignored -I text DS or imessage DD on her ipod.
Door is never answered as our rabbid yorkshire terrier goes crazy and has been known to nip the postman's toes! (She's sweet as pie otherwise, just gets affronted at door bell ringing!)

Yep -need a safe place for key when they go swimming! Hmm.

The pool would have to close if the lifeguard went off. So should be ok. I suppose I could phone to check though.

mine were home when I was working at the same age as yours, the rules I had were, no cooking on the gas cooker, they could use toaster and m/wave, answer the phone when I call, don't phone me about stupid arguments, I don't care who is sitting on what chair im working, they were only allowed to go out if I knew where they were going, and they knew where to go if they lost keys or were scared, I had two friends who were home and were happy to see them anytime. so I think you have covered all bases with your rules. Mine are 19 and 16 now and they survived.

The only thing I would be wary about would be having friends over. Do you know all the likely candidates? Are they as trustworthy as your own children? Would they be tempted to use appliances, run up huge phone bills etc

What are the consequences if they break the rules?

13 and 11? I have a friend who would hire a nanny for the school holidays while she worked. Her two are 17 and 13! She's a lot wee bit PFB.

We've known all of their friends in the village for years. I like all of DD's friends and have no issues there.

Not so keen on DS' but they won't be round as,
A, they prefer being outdoors
and B, we have parental controls on the xbox and total boycott on COD and other 18 rated games!

Not sure about "sanctions" but in general, if DS misses a curfew, he has his kindle, computer and phone confiscated so (after repeated confiscations last year) he never risks it!

Loopy I congratulate you for having the confidence (in your parenting and in your kids) to give them a bit of freedom and responsibility. They are well old enough to cope. You're doing the right thing.

Definitely add a 'maximum number of friends allowed at one time' number.

I have the "no ringing me about stupid things whilst I am at work" for DS(14) and DD(15)
I do not bloody well care who drank the last can of drink or who looked the other in a funny way.

I was left alone all day from the age of 12. A looooong time ago now ( no mobile phones, texting etc). I was an only child, very boring, worst thing I did was eat icing sugar. By the spoon. Really. What a rebel.