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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should show some gratitude when your 3 year old is returned to you after wondering out off a shop

54 replies

Goldenbear · 27/06/2013 11:02

I was just about to enter Waitrose today and noticed this young child 3/4 year old crying and on his own, there wasn't an adult nearby looking over at him. I was just about to ask him if he was lost and then another lady went up to him and asked him if he was ok and took him to find his 'Mummy'. I went in to the shop afterwards and saw this woman had found her and handed him back. The Mum hadn't even noticed and didn't thank the woman, in fact she was very blasé about it.

AIbu in thinking she should've shown some gratitude or care even?

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldenbear · 27/06/2013 11:03

Sorry 'of' in title not 'off'

OP posts:
GroupieGirl · 27/06/2013 11:05

Same thing happened to me. Found a small, crying child. Returned to family, some distance (and a busy road) away, and not only did they not thank me, or even acknowledge me, they barely acknowledged the child and continued to ignore him. YANBU!

pinkballetflats · 27/06/2013 11:10

Wow. I guess some people just don't care I suppose Confused

Original poster
Goldenbear · 27/06/2013 11:16

Groupie, that is even worse, he wasn't near a busy road but it is a Waitrise in a shopping centre do endless possibilities to get lost.

OP posts:
EeyoreIsh · 27/06/2013 11:18

same thing happened to me. I stopped a wee girl from running out of tescos into the main road. returned her to her family who were busy buying cigarettes. No thanks, no eye contact, nothing. kid got a smack in the bum.

I hoisted up my judgey pants and walked off.

EeyoreIsh · 27/06/2013 11:19

smack on the bum even...

GroupieGirl · 27/06/2013 11:21

In my case I think the family were too busy sunbathing to care. If my daughter was returned to me by a stranger and I hadn't noticed I'd be distraught!

Flobbadobs · 27/06/2013 11:21

YANBU, I could understand if they forgot to thank her because they were frantically looking for the child but to be so blasé about it is just wrong.
When DD1 wandered off in Matalan a couple of years ago I thought she was with DH and he thought she was with me so neither of us noticed she was missing until we got a call on the tannoy Blush
I hugged the security guard who didn't let her leave the store on her own and the lady on the customer service desk!

Startail · 27/06/2013 11:25

YANBU
Having been the mother of a grade A escape artist, I would certainly have said thank you.

Not that anyone ever did return my monster to me because she didn't cry or look lost, just wandered off in her own confident little bubble. She's 15, she's still a nightmare to go shopping with, because she just floats off.

snuffaluffagus · 27/06/2013 11:25

This happened to me at Thorpe Park.

I saw a 4 year old (he told me his age!) on his own looking a bit tearful. I was wandering about in the immediate area for 5mins with him hoping to find his parents, no luck.. in the end I took him to a staff member who radioed through to someone else, they'd had no lost child alerts. Just then (at least 10mins after finding him) his family walked past, seemingly completely unphased and unworried, he pointed them out tearfully, and was reunited with them.

They didn't express any horror/worry/gratitude at all! I don't think they'd noticed he was gone..

DIYapprentice · 27/06/2013 11:29

Blush - I was the parent that did that - in my defence though I was so relieved to find my DS that I burst into tears and hugged him, completely ignoring the people who had found him as I was so upset.

He was so shocked by my tears and my reaction that he's never done it again thank goodness (had deliberately taken off because I wouldn't look at toys for him but was looking for something for the boy whose party he was going to)

I saw them later in the shopping centre and did thank them though.

Startail - I was that one that used to float away from my parents, each and every time we went shopping. Must have driven them mad.

Jan49 · 27/06/2013 11:42

This happened to me once. I found a 1 year old toddling towards a large car park. I took his hand and stayed on the pavement with him for 5 minutes, wondering what to do. He didn't speak or show understanding when I spoke to him. We were at a lido which had a pub, a forest area, beach and lake and he could have come from any of those.

After 5 minutes 2 women came out of the pub after him. They said nothing to me. If I hadn't stopped him, he'd have been toddling around in a busy car park.Shock I could understand if they'd been too frightened and upset to say anything but they didn't seem to be bothered.

ProudAS · 27/06/2013 11:49

I found a lost child (about two years old) in the street and was on the point of phoning the police when his father came to claim him. Father said "Oh thank goodness, I just turned round and he'd gone." He didn't actually thank me but I reckon he was grateful.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 27/06/2013 11:52

I've had wandering children returned to me. I said thank you.

I just hate the judginess some of them gave me. Yes he escaped. That's why he was wandering down the road while I was still searching inside the shop. I don't need a lecture on safety.

doingthesplitz · 27/06/2013 11:58

I saw a small child wandering on his own towards the door of Tesco. I hovered around keeping an eye on him in case he wandered out, and wondering where his parents were. Then his dad came up, grabbed his hand, gave me a dirty look and went off. Sad

ShabbyButNotChic · 27/06/2013 12:02

This happened to me too. At one of those outdoor retail parks. Came out of a shop and saw a little lad about 3-4 yr old. Looked around, no parents. Said hello to him casually, he told me he was going to his daddy who was in the car. This was a really busy car park

KatyTheCleaningLady · 27/06/2013 12:03

He was probably embarrassed and defensive. Not fair, but probably why he gave you the dirty look.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 27/06/2013 12:04

I once saw a child of about 2/3 stood alone in the middle of the road on a traffic island. He was crying. I asked where his Mum was and he wouldn't answer me. I tried to hold his hand to walk him with us into the shopping centre but he wouldn't move. I stayed with him while my friend went ahead to see if anyone was looking for him. About 5 minutes later she came back out with a very red faced woman who i recognised as a childminder from the local area. I'd see her at baby groups or social events and she never spoke to me. Now when I see her I can't shut her up. I'm sure it was a one -off and to be honest I'm not even sure I'd know who to tell if I put in a complaint. Maybe its better that there is a mum out there that doesn't know her son was left stranded in the middle of a busy road and it's only because he was too petrified to move that he wasn't hurt? Hmm
Thankfully she doesn't appear to have a job looking after children anymore.

VonHerrBurton · 27/06/2013 12:05

Reverse is true for me! My Houdini disappeared in a big store in florida when he was 2. He was invisible in a nanosecond and we were maniacally searching in fitting rooms, under seats, in rails of clothes.

We asked the 17 year old gum chewing cba assistants if they could close the doors as we searched, there was no way he could have got out in the short time it was since we'd seen him last "sorry, its company policy they have to stay open" a welsh couple and their teenagers just left their shopping, mum said to two sons "you stand by the doors" dad looked at far end of shop, mum the front part while dh and I just ran round like headless chickens.

One of the sons saw him heading for the door..

I was sobbing with gratitude! I still, 8 years on, remember all their faces as clear as i would if i had just met them this morning.

farewellfarewell · 27/06/2013 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eskino · 27/06/2013 12:06

Oh god, the thought of losing one of mine makes my stomach fall out.

I was a 'lost' 4 year old (though I was adamant it was Mummy who was lost, not me!) in Tesco, aaages back.

The look on my mums face when she came to collect me from the managers office was scary, she looked so angry. I realise now she was angry at herself and upset beyond reason.

I can understand someone forgetting to thank you in their state but not being blasé, at all.

ShabbyButNotChic · 27/06/2013 12:06

Whoops too early!
Really busy on a saturday afternoon. I looked round to see if a man was watching for him. Nobody. So i ask if mummy is in the shop, say come away from the cars etc. talking for a few minutes thinking its best to keep in view if his dad is looking for him. all of a sudden i hear this 'come here you little shit! ' his mums comes up and drags him inside. Doesnt even look at me!
I couldnt keep my mouth shut and just shouted 'youre welcome!' After her and she gave me the filthiest look! Rude...

VonHerrBurton · 27/06/2013 12:09

Omg shabby! Nicccce. What a cow.

ShabbyButNotChic · 27/06/2013 12:15

I know! You would think she would be grateful i stopped her kid getting squished by a car/abducted etc but no...poor kid he was on my mind all day :( i understand people being angry at their kid for wandering, i know they can disappear in a second, but there is no need to be so horrible.

Christmasberry · 27/06/2013 12:21

I shouted to a woman who's baby in their pushchair was about to roll into the road, she grabbed it in time but didn't even acknowledge me as we walked past.

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