Nursery or childminder?

[nothingbyhalves]

I know there are other places to post but there is more traffic here. Dt's been in a nursery one day a week. Been going since January. All well. But in the last month they have been saying they don't like it. Even tho they seem happy when I pick them up. (Nursery picks them up from school) should I take them out and try a childminder?

They are 3. It's a really long day for them, as I have to drop them if at breakfast club at 7:45 , then they have pre school till 11:30, then nursery till 5:30. I only work 3 days a week and gp's have them the other 2 days (gp's can't do extra day as they are almost 80! So need the rest)

Just wondered what mumsnet thought?

What is it they don't like about it?

Hi
Iv had this with both of mine in daycare, saying they dont like it, crying when getting left off - mine are 4 and 2. When Iv carefully quizzed different girls in their rooms they all say thr same, they strop for 5 mins then happily play away.

Hi :-)

Sorry, but what difference would it make putting the twins with a childminder? - their day would still be just as long & there's no guarantee they'll like it there any better.
I'd keep their current routine personally.

What about preschool and childminder?

If you're happy with the nursery then keep them where they are, especially if they've been there a while.

I use a childminder for DS1 (22 months). DS2 will be going there as well when I go back to work. We've had a fab experience with her. DS1 has benefited enormously from being in a home environment with children of different ages. They go on great outings in the morning and spend their afternoons playing together in the garden/playroom. If you can find a professional, keen CM then I would say go for it, especially as they will get larger group socialising at preschool. I think that a nursery environment can be quite hectic and tiring for some children. Certainly for my son he has flourished in my CM's care, and I think it has given him a real emotional security as he has a bond with her as well as me.

I know it's still a long day, but just thought a childminder would be less hectic and more relaxing. The nursery they go to is rather big.

Nursery is more full on - ds was always absolutely shattered after a morning at nursery versus a morning at home with his nanny. I'd consider the CM option as there's more down time and more homely. Or a mix of CM and preschool - I know parents who do that with their kids (eg if preschool is attached to a school, CM does pick up and drop off).

When I was a cm I used to do all the busy stuff like toddler groups, park, soft play in the morning and then after lunch and usually a short nap if needed do quieter things, crafts, books, puzzles and games etc.

My pre schoolers were usually shattered so this worked well.

Maybe in your setting its just too much go go go and too stimulating.

A 10hr day in a nursery/pre-school setting can be quite grueling for a 3yr old, even if it is just once a week.

It won't harm to check out a childminder and see if you can find one that's a bit more tranquil than a hectic nursery.

Have been looking for cm. they all seem full! Any advice gratefully accepted!

My son goes to nursery and has long days (he is nearly three). But he has only one environment all day so they pace it throughout the day - high energy times, more relaxed times and so on. They can do this because most children are there all day so they can see when they will be tired and so on. Just as at home, sometimes you do activities and then you relax.

If yours go to pre-school and then nursery, that is a lot of activity time. I'd check out childminders if you think they could do with more of a relaxed home environment. It can't hurt.

On the other hand, one day a week may simply be a very short amount of time for them to get used to it. I know that while my son enjoys nursery while he is there (and always tells me he did when I pick him up), if he is away for a week, he gets out of the rhythm and tells me he doesn't want to go. So I think it takes a lot longer to get used to when it is such a long time between sessions.

Maybe they find it hard to settle because they go there the least?my boy goes for ten hours two days a week and it doesnt bother him,he loves it!

How about a part time nanny? Then at least they can go home after school - it's a lot more relaxing. It also has the advantage that if the grandparents are ill there's more chance the nanny can have them and when the GP's are no longer up to having them for full days the nanny could have them for additional hours.

I agree with previous 2 pps that maybe one day just isn't enough to establish their routine there. Personally, though, I think if mine were in preschool I'd definitely definitely want a cm for the afternoons. Quieter, homely, time to chill and recover from a hectic morning.

Ps pretty amazing 80 year olds looking after not one, but TWO three year olds!!

I looked at so many options and drive myself demented when I was going back to work - I was really going to go for a preschool in the morning with a childminder picking up in the afternoon but luckily found a preschool that does extended days (8-6 for £30) so I drop off at 8.30 and dp picks up around 4pm - now I look at him and am glad he isn't to-ing and fro-ing all day.

My only thoughs with a childminder is the afternoon can be a lot of picking older dc up from school and the post school mix so maybe it depends on who else the childminder has. Only other downside of cm is cm holidays and cm illness can leave you without childcare.

The right cm though would be best if doing a mix imo though - as pp say the more chilled out environment would be good but I would go for at least 2 days a week.

Agree more days would help routine , but simply can't afford it! Struggling to pay for the one day will look into a nanny, the problem is finding someone willing to do the one day. Mil has said she will help but doesn't drive so school pick up will be an issue especially in winter when the weather isn't up to much.

I used a nursery when went back to work as couldnt find a childminder. DD was six months. Luckily she was only there eight weeks as childminder had space become available. I wasnt really happy to use nursery as preferred more of a home environment. Just my opinion.

My Sister in Law put her's in a nursery full time until they started school then found a childminder. She felt they needed more down time and being with a CM, they felt like they could relax more.