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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if someone steals from you at school in front of everyone.....

33 replies

Tilly333 · 26/06/2013 20:53

that they should get more punishment than picking up litter for an hour? DD had sports day today and she and all of her friends were going to be spending the whole day on the sports field. They all decided to bring in different goodies, ice pops, sweets, drinks etc. to share whilst they were waiting to be called to participate in the different sports. One little s**t stole all of their stuff whilst they were competing and distributed the goodies to anyone who would have them! This was around 6 girls treats and came to around £20 worth of stuff! They reported him and he was told to pick litter for an hour, and that was it - he got away with it basically!

Surely this is not suitable punishment? Apparently this boy is a renowned brat and also stood on someone's Capri Sun with his studded boots so they were all undrinkable with holes in! All on purpose!

I have called the school to see about a more suitable punishment and recompense for the stuff he took - and they failed to call me back. They are on strike tomorrow so Friday I shall be calling them again.

My suggestion is that if this is all the punishment they get for stealing that I shall be sending in my daughter on Friday with a swag bag.. as crime does pay... obviously!!!

OP posts:
Elquota · 26/06/2013 20:56

I don't think the school have "failed to call you back" if you only got in touch this afternoon. I'm sure they will ring you soon and you'll have the chance to put your concerns to them.

SauvignonBlanche · 26/06/2013 20:59

Flog him! Hmm

onetiredmummy · 26/06/2013 21:00

What age children are we talking about?

TigOldBitties · 26/06/2013 21:01

I think wait until you hear back from them.

I'd be pissed off too.

However you don't know that further punishment hasn't happened without your DD being aware. That may have been just the immediate action.

Blueandwhitelover · 26/06/2013 21:02

Children taking in sweets, icepoles etc at a school sports day?? Really?
Apart from the Health and Safety risk do the school not have any policies in place about sweets and the sharing of foodstuffs-clutches pearls at the thought of food allergies let alone sugar overloaded children.

HildaOgden · 26/06/2013 21:05

Was it a sports day.or a picnic?Had they been told to bring in junk food?To be honest,unless they had all been told to bring stuff in,I think you might find yourself getting a lecture from the school about the way your child broke the rules themselves by doing so.

I'd probably take the view that an hours litter-picking is enough ...but what punishment would you prefer?

lborolass · 26/06/2013 21:12

If someone stole my child's stuff that I'd paid for I'd expect them to replace the sweets as well as the litter picking.

Blueandwhitelover - I can't tell if you're joking about health and safety, you don't really expect the school to have a policy on pupils sharing their sweets do you?

Original poster
Tilly333 · 26/06/2013 21:13

... it's something that happens every year. They all take in stuff to share, drinks, sweets, icelpoles (it's been very hot here today - so I thought that would be a good idea (!) They are out on the field most of the day - and it's a bit of a treat. Everyone takes stuff and they sit in their little groups until called up. I know it's not like a normal sports day - but it's just what they do and always have. TBH as all of the girls are friends I didn't even think about allergies (bad mum) - they all took in what they liked and shared... like a picnic. They are 13.
I suppose I shall wait until the school calls me then and see what happens....will let you know!

OP posts:
Blueandwhitelover · 26/06/2013 21:18

I was clutching my pearls!

Although I would expect schools NOT to allow sweets and ice poles to be brought in for Sports Days . Six children having £20 worth of stuff is a lot (IMO) and I think lots of schools have issues with sharing due to potential food allergies. Most parents would be perfectly fine but some have been known to stress if their child is given non organic. Hell hath no fury like a parent whose child has been given/eaten something they don't approve of.

Blueandwhitelover · 26/06/2013 21:20

Ah 13, that's a whole different story, I assumed you were talking about Primary aged children.

SorryMyLollipop · 26/06/2013 21:20

You don't know this boy's background/circumstances. He could have a whole host of issues/difficulties that mean one hrs litter picking is the perfect sanction for him.

I have a DC with MH problems, including impulse control. She is also crippled with shame due to her background. When she does something wrong, I am working on her admitting it to me. That is hard enough for her and extreme sanctions on top would prolong her shame unbearably and unnecessarily. Conversations with her are more effective.

On the surface, I don't appear to sanction her much but I know what is enough for her.

MammaTJ · 26/06/2013 21:21

Hanging at the very least surely. Hmm

MammaTJ · 26/06/2013 21:22

Ah, 13, they will get their own revenge!! Grin

ICantRememberWhatSheSaid · 26/06/2013 21:25

I am lol'ing at the clutching of pearls that is going on Grin

I think an hour litter picking is not enough either. I would also expect the items to be replaced.

It sounds like a nasty thing for a 13 year old to do. Angry

Original poster
Tilly333 · 26/06/2013 21:27

Hilda Ogden....Theft is theft... whatever was taken ... and should be dealt with an apology, return or refund of the goods and the parents notified. I would like to think that a conversation with the parents may highlight a problem as I know that this is not the first time this boy has done this (although not to my child or her friends - but he is well known for it) whatever/if any punishment has happened in the past is obviously not working ! I suppose all this should happen in due course though so we shall see.

OP posts:
Blueandwhitelover · 26/06/2013 21:29

Nothing like a good clutching of pearls :-)

Original poster
Tilly333 · 26/06/2013 21:31

sorrymylollipop - never even entered my head that this was a condition... feel a bit bad now Blush

OP posts:
TigOldBitties · 26/06/2013 21:33

13 is old enough to know better, the punishment should reflect that.

Litter picking may have been boring and humiliating but he should at least pay for the replacement or lose out in some other way.

I imagine your daughter and friends were looking forward to it and I don't think its just theft but the the feelings the behaviour caused; upset and disappointment. Complain, I'd have little interest in his personal problems.

Original poster
Tilly333 · 26/06/2013 21:34

£20 for some shares I thought was a lot too- but it's only £3 each for 6 of them - and bought 20 ice poles and a bottle of drink for my DD

OP posts:
tethersend · 26/06/2013 21:35

You don't get to decide the boy's punishment- you know nothing about him, his circumstances or what a suitable punishment might be. School will not discuss it with you; nor should they.

All you can do is seek assurances that it will not happen again.

soapboxqueen · 26/06/2013 21:37

I'm not sure how the school can enforce the parents of this boy to pay for the goods.

You won't know if his parents have been called or if any subsequent punishments were given. As others have said this boy could have issues that are not best served by standard punishments.

BrianTheMole · 26/06/2013 21:37

I would expect him to pay for what he had stolen.

tethersend · 26/06/2013 21:40

"Complain, I'd have little interest in his personal problems."

Which sums up why parents don't decide pupil punishments.

Saidar · 26/06/2013 21:42

Either he's a wee brat and should be punished. Or, if he does have personal problems the school are failing him as you say his has form for this type of thing.

I'd wait and see what the school come back with tomorrow. Obviously they won't tell you if he does have personal problems but you can make it clear how you feel.

crumblepie · 26/06/2013 21:43

i would send her with a swag bag if i was you , seems like all the little shits get treated far better than the behaved ones as they all have issues and they must be treated with kid gloves !

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