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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Next door's kids shouting at my dog- I went round to the mum, was IBU?

45 replies

Pinkflipflop · 26/06/2013 19:31

My gorgeous labrador is our second child!

A new family have moved in next door and they seem nice enough even though the wee gits cycle over my lawn

Anyway I was feeding my ds and though there lots of noise coming from the back. Noise went on for about 5 minutes and I looked into my back and next door's kids plus friends had climbed onto my fence and were shouting and 'barking' at my dog. My dog was frightened as he is a big old softie and lies about on the sofa, he has quite a chilled out life and has never been shouted at before!

I was very cross! I went out to my back and told the kids to go away and asked them how they would feel if I shouted at their dog?

I came into the house and still felt upset for the dog and basically I went round to the mum and complained!

She was very nice and actually made the boys come round and apologise.

All ok but WIBU? Will the neighbours think I am OTT?

I really want to get on with the neighbours and would hate ill feeling to develop!

It's a nice sunny day here which is why the dog was outside!

OP posts:

fluffyraggies · 26/06/2013 22:08

I often do things in anger or the heat of the moment which i second guess or cringe at a bit later on. 9 times out of 10 angry me is just a more assertive me and in fact things get said which needed saying!

Look at it like that, OP, and if it were me i'd make a point of being very pleasant next time you see the mum. Maybe even bring it up and say thank you for being so understanding - i'm very protective of 'Dog' :)

2048 · 26/06/2013 22:20

Dog is a second child - I hope you didnt say that to your neighbour.

notafan0fy00 · 26/06/2013 22:22

Course she did 2048 - probably put him in his doggy jacket, popped him in a pushchair and took him round with her, and then asked the kids to apologise to 'Mr Wuffington' too.

Original poster

Pinkflipflop · 26/06/2013 22:27

No No notafan my doggie baby was far too busy at doggielates for that!

OP posts:

TotallyBursar · 26/06/2013 22:50

So what if your dog is your second child? Why is that an issue? Anyway...

I would be mortified and furious that my children had climbed onto your fence and were teasing the dog. Or just talking/barking at your dog, pretty much on your property without asking. That's naughty and could be dangerous, as it was they upset your dog.
I would expect you to tell them off and I would want to know.
You told their mum and she punished how she saw fit - she could have chosen to let your telling off be enough, she obviously wanted it to sink in.
I wouldn't think you were a loon or ott - I would hope a sincere apology would mean you didn't think my children were unruly brats.
I would have no issues with them talking to or playing with your dog as long as you were informed and happy to give the go ahead but they don't have free reign to invade private property just because they really feel like it.

auntmargaret · 26/06/2013 22:59

I used to have an old dog that I loved, loved, loved. If anyone had upset him, I would have done something. Kids are just kids, which is why they need guidance. YANBU.

ladymariner · 27/06/2013 00:06

Yanbu

serin · 27/06/2013 00:13

You did the right thing.

Aside from the fact that they upset your dog they could have got bitten if your dog was fear aggressive. They were not to know he is a big softie.

humdumaggapang · 27/06/2013 00:25

Yanbu. You are lucky the mum is nice. Bodes well for you being neighbours. As another poster said, you nipped it in the bud so well done! Hopefully that will be the end of it.

BookieMonster · 27/06/2013 00:26

YANBU.

MidniteScribbler · 27/06/2013 01:24

YANBU. If it continued you may very well find an AIBU from the neighbour about "my neighbours dog goes nuts every time I my kids go in the yard, barking and running the fence." Children need to learn.

solarbright · 27/06/2013 02:14

If I were the other mum, I'd think you a bit odd, but not unreasonable to tell off my brats for shouting at a defenseless animal. Would have done just what she did & made them apologise (and made a mental note to self that neighbour might be slightly unhinged). So I assume you'll have plenty of time to prove yourself perfectly hinged. Or otherwise.

May09Bump · 27/06/2013 02:25

Looks like everyone did the common sense approach.

I don't know how old the kids are, but maybe invite them round to give your dog some treats. Most kids like doing stuff like that (obviously if dog is ok with kids, and won't get stressed by it) - you can then talk about how he / she gets scared by noises etc, being old she likes being talked to softly. This way they have a bit of relationship with the dog and will think twice about being noisy / baiting.

I would also talk to the mum again, just say you really appreciate the apology - could ask her for a cup of tea, and ask if she needs any advice on local stuff. Nice if you can get on.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/06/2013 02:48

YANBU, the dog can't speak up for himself so you had to

MyBaby1day · 27/06/2013 03:37

YANBU, no child should be allowed to shout at or taunt animals, I know my child will never be allowed to!. Glad you love him so much

hesterton · 27/06/2013 05:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cat98 · 27/06/2013 07:03

YANBU, but I think taking round a bottle of wine or another 'welcome' gift in a couple of days would be a nice idea.

Fuzzysnout · 27/06/2013 08:08

YWNBU. Barking at the dog is teasing & could be dangerous.

I disagree with posters who are saying let them feed the dog treats / play with him as they may then think it's ok to do this when you are not around.

To those who have said they let their children bark at dogs / think it's not a problem, it's a really dangerous thing to let them do. Dogs communicate with each other by barking and your child does not know what they are "saying" to the dog when they bark at them. For all they know they are saying "I want to fight you". Most dogs will be wound up (as no doubt you would be) by someone making silly noises at them continually and a dog's only defence is to bite.

Remember that you know that you DC are just being children & don't understand but the dog does not know this. If they don't bite your child they may be becoming nervous of, or get a dislike of children in general which will only end in disaster.

Please teach your children to be calm and respectful around animals.

raisah · 27/06/2013 09:02

You did the right thing as you alerted the mum as soon as it happened rather than bringing it up the next time you saw her. It would have been awkward to have brought up a past event but easier to discuss a current one iyswim. The mum knows now so should keep an eye on them.

StanleyLambchop · 27/06/2013 09:03

If I were the Mum I would have done the same, made them apologise and had stern words about climbing on fences, etc. BUT I would also be worrying now every time the children went into the garden, even if they were just playing and not doing anything to annoy the dog. I would probably be saying things like 'stay away from the ladies fence' even though they were only playing in the vague general direction of said fence.
I would be keeping my distance for a while because I would not know if this was just a one - off connected to your dog, or the start of you complaining about every little noise my kids made. I know you are not going to be doing that as you have explained here it was just about the dog, but your neighbour perhaps doesn't. So I would have a little chat to her if you see her out and about, just to clear things up?

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