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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to spend 200 pounds on a 4th birthday party (without the presents)?

47 replies

Lizzie2oo7 · 26/06/2013 15:11

My ds has been to a couple of lovely birthday parties recently and I really want him to have a great party, too, but I also don't want to overspend. What is the right amount of money to spend on a birthday party at different ages? If there is an answer to this question.

Ds wants a pirate themed party which I think is a good idea since his birthday is in August.

I have been looking for inspiration on the internet and found lots of great ideas.

I have a Silhouette Cameo so I can make most of the decoratiosn myself. Still there is the pirate play pool (inflatable), water guns, foam swords, goodie bags, printable DIY kit (from etsy)...to buy. Not to mention the food. I'll be making the chocolate lollies, cake pops, cupcakes biscuits and the birthday cake myself so I'm afraid it won't get any cheaper.

Is it really such an unreasonable amount of money to spend on a birthday party?

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 26/06/2013 15:13

If you can afford it without starving yourself of getting into debt, then if course YANBU.

Spend however much of your own money as you want on your own child.

We spend roughly that amount on birthday parties.

phantomnamechanger · 26/06/2013 15:19

only you know what you can afford. and what would look too show-offy to your friends and relatives.

Cheap and cheerful is absolutely fine for 4yo, they wont know the difference, honest! They wont eat much either, no matter how much effort goes into it.

And do bear in mind that many MNers and even folk you know in real life may not have that for a monthly food shop!

BlackeyedSusan · 27/06/2013 00:04

face paints and home made activities would do just as well.

parties are close to £200 if you go with an entertainer/hall/soft play/food option and throw in the party bags.

5madthings · 27/06/2013 00:07

What clouds said, we have spent that much on parties.

iloveshortshorts · 27/06/2013 00:14

I am spending just over £200 for DDs first birthday not including presents, i can just about afford that. Didnt want to spend too much but things just add up.

BegoniaBampot · 27/06/2013 00:20

Don't think it's unusual. If you can easily afford it - no problem. You are giving business to companies and giving the kids a good time. You can also have lovely parties for much less.

themaltesecat · 27/06/2013 00:23

Madness.

peggyundercrackers · 27/06/2013 00:30

its not unreasonable. we spent quite a bit more on a 1st birthday party but that included a cake (cake was for 50 and was over £100 on its own...) and catering and the hire of a room - it isnt cheap but what do you do? we looked for cheaper cakes and stuff but couldnt find anything local to us. We also thought the catering was going to be more but the place we had the party gave us a deal which saved us about £100(which breaks down to £2 a head and if you say it like that it doesnt sound like a lot of money)

elQuintoConyo · 27/06/2013 00:34

If you're not suffering financially, then why not? I'd feel really, really bad that you'd only get ice cream and jelly and a game of Dead Lions at my DS's birthday 'cos that's all I can afford. Something else to feel guilty about.

Why did you post this in aibu? You'll either get a pat on the back or flamed!

themaltesecat · 27/06/2013 00:48

I'm youngish still (28) and remember from my own childhood the best parts of various parties:

  • jumping on a trampoline squealing and trying to avoid a sprinkler
  • working out a secret code and following lots of clues to find a VHS and a bag of sweets for us to watch and share together
  • pass the parcel- an EXTREMELY raucous version, where the prize was a bottle of bubble bath, which got tipped into a slidely pool thing into which we all jumped, of course
  • a good old singsong around a piano with the girl's dad dressed up in a tuxedo gamely taking requests
  • all going to a cheap jewellery shop (think, Claires) and all the little girls (about five of us) getting to choose something to the value of about a dollar each.

None of these things cost much, but they were talked about for months.

And icecream and jelly are the BEST.

Shanghaidiva · 27/06/2013 01:10

If you can afford it, why not?

Personally I wouldn't. This year DD had a cake decorating party - made the cakes and icing myself (various colours) and the kids did the rest. Also got some gadget to pipe icing - kids loved using them.

EleanorFarjeon · 27/06/2013 01:27

Not unreasonable, as parties cost a small fortune.

Justforlaughs · 27/06/2013 04:40

If you've got the money, then do what you want with it. I'll be honest and say that I don't think I would but I've got no problem with anyone else doing so. I'd think you were mad to get into debt over it. I also think you could hire a pirate bouncy castle a lot cheaper! Wink

JoandMax · 27/06/2013 05:09

If you can afford then go for it! Yes, kids will have just as much fun running around and have a great party for cheaper but its not an unreasonable thing to do.

We have just spent loads on a party for nearly 5 year old DS in a soft play place - however we have moved country and so wanted to do it partly for him and his new friends but also for us to socialise with the parents too. Its not something we'll do every year though!

TwasBrillig · 27/06/2013 05:10

I wouldn't. It's more like 100-120 to hire an all inclusive soft play / farm /pool party here so it would be madness to pay more.

If mine had summer birthdays we'd be having picnics in the park. A friend of ours had a pirate party in the forest incredibly cheaply by resourceful thinking and it looked great.

However as ever up to you, and if you'd enjoy it go for it!

mrssprout · 27/06/2013 05:25

I personally haven't spent that on parties we have done in the past but having said that it is a very personal decision. If you have that amount of money that you can use for a party then go for it if you want to. When DD turned 4 she had a joint party with her cousin (also turning 4). One of my sisters had won a free jumping castle for a day in a competition & gave this to us to use for the party. It was at our house, we had jumping castle, a few games & my sister & I did some food each. If we had to pay for the jumping castle it would have been very expensive ( and we couldn't have afforded it)

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 27/06/2013 05:30

I think we'll be spending that almost much on DS's first birthday next week - just for his sister, cousins, and assorted doting adults to take him to the nearby farm park.

He has hand-me-down presents though, so no expense there.

McGeeDiNozzo · 27/06/2013 05:50

Why not? Every kid should have at least one crackerjack birthday party. It compensates for the inevitable shite birthday they'll have later, like my 16th, which was spent being driven around a series of roundabouts on the outskirts of Middlesborough and being shouted at.

imademarion · 27/06/2013 05:58

McGee Flowers

Bastards!

primallass · 27/06/2013 06:00

If you are getting foam swords and water guns I wouldn't bother with party bags too.

exoticfruits · 27/06/2013 06:35

I wouldn't spend anything like that - have lots of pirate games and they can use their imagination. If you do go for it I certainly wouldn't do party bags.

Pozzled · 27/06/2013 06:49

Can you afford it easily? Do you want to spend that much?

If the answer is yes, then there's no problem. If the answer's no, you can easily cut back. My DD had a pirate-themed 3rd birthday, but we didn't spend nearly as much.

(As an aside, we did a treasure chest birthday cake which was easy to make but looked really good. The treasure- chocolate coins, candy necklaces, some cheap plastic rings- became the content for the party bags).

imnotmymum · 27/06/2013 06:52

At the price of stuff nowadays £200 is the norm including food, drinks, party bags, entertainment...oh and a life size Niall cut out for my 13 year old

MrsBungle · 27/06/2013 06:59

I recently did a 4th birthday party for dd (pirate themed as it happens!) and all-in it cost me about £200 before presents. I can afford it and wanted a good party for her to remember - the last one with her nursery friends.

I'm not always extravagant, ds had his first birthday the month before and I only spent about £50 on that as he won't remember it anyway.

Jinty64 · 27/06/2013 07:13

Each of my boys has had one expensive birthday party (ds1's 5th and ds2 & 3's 6th)

Ds3 took his whole class to soft play last year and by the time we paid for cake, party bags and balloons it was £200. My mother paid half which was her present to him and he didn't get a present from us as he had gifts from all his party friends.

This was his first ever party. He is not having one this year and if he has anything in the future it will just be a couple of friends to tea as his brothers have done.

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