To think that I will never be the sort of woman who buys tampons at the end of my period?

[acebaby]

I spend my life in a total panic over everything (expired passports, expired photo driving license when I need to hire a car, forgotten MOT etc etc). I have a fairly responsible job as a university lecturer, and I lead a research group. And yet I don't have a diary. Instead, I scan e-mails to see whether I have a meeting. If it's really important, I write a reminder on my hand (which means - obviously - I have to go into important meetings with writing on my hand). As always, this term, I lost the school calendar within about one day, so have been guessing about school trips etc for months. Naturally, I have one from about 3 years ago stuck on the notice board at home, next to my 2008 calendar.

Is there any hope for me? Will I ever buy tampons at the END of my period, rather than at the 24 hour sainsbury's late at night (when my regular cycle again takes me by surprise)? Has anyone got inspiring stories of how they turned themselves around organizationally in middle age (I am 38)? Where do I start?

about organising

Use your notes app on your phone (it has date at the top you could have a page for each meeting - every time you use the notes it updates your minute for the meeting and lets you see what date you last wrote on that particular note) and your diary on your phone, setting alarms for 1/2/3 days/hours/minutes before the event - you can set them weekly/monthly/yearly so you can remember to de-worm/de-flea the dog/cat, when your period is (reminder to buy sanpro monthly a few days before your period), birthdays, meetings etc.

I lose stuff all the time and throw endless bits of paper out - I don't lose my keys, my phone (2009 and still going) and haven't yet lost my ipad - but it is only 6 months old.

Next time you buy Tampax, open the box and put one in your handbag or something that you use every day.

This Tampax always has to stay in the bag. So, when you have Tampax emergency you can fish it out. Then you buy the new box and replace your emergency one.

I have never bought them at the end of my period either.

However, I have ended up chasing a Tampax across the office floor when it rolled out of my bag....so maybe not the greatest plan...

I second the massive wall planner idea - we have one to organise our lives, so if any of us are asked to do something we check the wall planner first. It makes life easy as it lives next to where we work at home, it's a good way to avoid making snap plans which clash with something else (the answer is always 'I'll get back to you once I've checked my calendar') and we can see at a glance what we've got going on for the whole year. I also use my phone for reminders, and write my shopping list on the fridge door with a dry wipe marker (attached to the fridge itself with a magnet) - then I just take a photo of the list on my phone and use that as a list whilst I'm at the shops (or do it online, but that's not so original!).

Start tomorrow by buying two boxes of tampons.

Open one box. Stash four in a small zip up bag and put it in your handbag or actually in a pocket in your handbag.

Another four in the bag or rucksack you usually use if you go away.

Another four in a toiletry bag or make up bag.

The rest in the bathroom or bedroom drawer along with the full box.

I have to do this otherwise I'll run out. I am hopelessly disorganised.

I'm getting better at setting alarms for appointments and meetings on my iPhone. With alerts to go off one day before to remind me and one hour before (in case I've gone off elsewhere, so it gives me time to be back in the right place).

I've only recently started properly using my email calendar at work. Except mine reads unlike most other people's, most meetings require several entries:

8.30am REMEMBER! Meeting with Tim 2pm

11.30am REMEMBER! Meeting with Tim 2pm

1.45pm Meeting with Tim 2pm

2pm Meeting with Tim.

I'm a doofus.

BTW I have a relatively responsible job. I am just so busy that I struggle to remember things as it's totally non-stop. I actually felt like I'd lost the ability to speak last week, I had so much going on in my brain

I think you must either quite enjoy/need/not mind the drama of being disorganised, or you wouldn't be like it.

Wetdog I do that too - only my reminders come in every 10 minutes until I get so used to deleting them automatically, I forget to see what I am being reminded about!

I grill the children about letters on a daily basis, write things on our family calendar as soon as I know about them, have my works schedule up there and on the back door have a list with the ndays and what is going on at school on those days, ie eindoor/outdoor pe, after school clubs etc.

I still have no clue when my period is due (I used to diligently record in my work diary pre being an SAHM) and sometimes things do slip through the net, as of course there is no guarantee that I will actually read the flipping calendar

Disorganisation is stressful; I am getting better at it and definitely feel more in control.

There is a web site called 'remember the milk', you put entries and days in and it will e-mail you.

So the day you get the school diary you enter all the dates on the website. You tell it when you want reminding and everyday you have something you get a 'to do' list.

Try it.

The only problem is that you do have to actually put the dates in.

A mouse ate my mooncup.
Until then, this was the answer.

Malenky - do get your point but actually Dogrosie , I do also get what you are saying and bloody good for you . Not really on topic but Dog you have said something about parenthood in your post which touches me .
Hey ho
Back to tampons marked with the date

It makes sense to buy sanitary products from a wholesaler like JJ Wholesale (you dont need to register) and Costco (you can get diff types of membership). Stuff like loo rolls etc makes sense to buy in bulk.

I have a bloody great whiteboard in my hall. I write all the dates for the next couple of months in columns and then we all go through and fill in the information. I leave things in my inbox until I have put them on the board. When I am done I take a picture (incase someone else's delightful children decide they would like to draw on there ). Every week I move everything up and write it over again - it's like 'revising' what I've got on for the week by writing it again and again!! Also, my DH's writing is messy, so I start all over again after he's put his dates in. Sad, I know
Tampax - we use the cash and carry for most shopping (7 in our house!), so I always have about 20 boxes sitting in the garage, otherwise I'd forget too.

OP if this is important to you ( and I think it probably is) then you need to put some effort in.

In totally know where you're coming from as I'm not naturally organised but it was hurting me at work so I had to do something about it. I went on a course but it would be cheaper and easier for you to read the book that my course was based on by Stephen covey 'the seven habits of highly effective people'.

Then do as everyone else is suggesting and get your phone and computer synced and working for you ( seriously you dont know what you are missing)

Finally allocate some time (30 mins) each week to getting things organised for the following week (its a good friday afternoon job) and then ten minutes at the beginning of each day (or the end of the day before) for getting your days sorted (ie being aware of meetings, deadlines etc)

It will take effort (a lot of effort in the beginning) but it will be totally worth it- I swear.

Apparently it takes a month for adults to form a new habit so if you do it you need to stick to it for at least a month and don't allow yourself to say ' oh it's not working for me' etc

It will be harder for you as you're not a naturally organised person, but people will appreciate it more I think.

Good luck!

Ps I didn't ind using separate diaries worked for me as I would t look at all of them so I put everything on one - work and personal. You'll have to try some things and see what works best for you.

Wow long and slightly preachy post from me- sorry! What can I say? I'm a convert from a disorganised perso. I a disorganised person with a system.

People now think that I'm organised !!!

Wow, are you me?! I have a responsible job as a doctor, which I manage quite well, yet the rest of my life is disappearing into A black hole of disorganisation.
I have no advice but just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

Thanks everyone so much for all these tips . I will go tampon shopping today and look into some of these websites and planners! This thread is giving me what I need - motivation and some new ideas.

It is really interesting to see how everyone else keeps themselves organized. It has always been a bit of a mystery why no-one else seems to struggle.

I know I will never be like my sil, who writes out all her cards for the year on new years day, labels each envelope with the date it needs to be sent, and files them in a shoe box in date order. But I will certainly look into the M&S system. Sounds fantastic!

Cats Yes - In the past, organization has not been my priority, and I can be a bit lazy, although I definitely do not like the 'drama' of flapping around. But I do want to change, if that's possible after all these years, and that is why I have called on mn to help!

What?! You write appointments on the back of your hand? How old are you, 12?

Your life sounds unnecessarily stressful...

I use one of those calendars with a tear off shopping list on the side and keep it hanging in the kitchen. As soon as I run out of anything it goes straight on there. It also has columns for each member of the family so everyone's appointments go in there. I find it really helpful! I also use a website called policybuddy www.policybuddy.com for my MOT and insurance reminders, they send out emails to remind you you need to renew and it works brilliantly for us.

I've never been great at being organised but these 2 little things help me feel like I'm getting there...a bit... Now I just need to remember to look at the calendar!!!

You must surely have to be organised to be a university lecturer who leads a research group? That in itself surely involves a lot of juggling. How do you survive?!?

I used to be v bad as until my v late teens, then I lost 3 purses in a row which forced me to get my act together - I'm still crap on certain things tho.

Phone calendars are good .
Tampons - just buy a load of them!

I was like this for years. Always in a flap and leaving stuff until the last minute. I work in a school so get diaries provided every year, both paper and an online system. Mine was always empty....i ended up so stressed and actually ended up in tears one day when i realised i hadnt completed sone paperwork (due that day). Those 2 hours overtime (on the last day of term!) frantically doing it really kicked me up the arse and i vowed to get organised.

I now get 2 diaries in sept, one for work, one personal. Ispend an hour putting in everything fron term dates/school trips/training days/events eg disco and fill my personal one in with all birthdays/hols/car tax, mot, ins etc. it still took me a while to get in the habit of looking at them, but now its automatic. Every morning when i have a cuppa i sit and go through them. Everything i need to remember eg nights out, babysitting, dog @ vets, goes straight in, and i have a cover note at the start of each month with big things happening.
It wasnt natural to me at all, but years down the line
it has been a total lifesaver! The decrease in stress is unbelievable.

I also make great use of the notes app on my phone for shopping lists, anything runs out it goes on the list. Oh and always buy 2-3 boxes of tampax when they are on offer :)

It is hard to retrain your brain but it can be done, im the proof haha

Another thing ive started doing, after moaning to my mum about how i never seem to get things done at home, is to keep a little notepad next to my bed. I take 5mins at night to write down anything 'in my head' and thing to do the next day. Even if its only 'strip bed and empty bins' i then feel a lot clearer in my head as i dont have to remember now, and the next day i can do it and throw the page away. I immediately feel better as i feel ive achieved sonething. Sad i know but its the little things haha.

time to get off my arse and put the washing on

shabby and Doris - thank you! That is so encouraging. The notebook idea is great. One of my problems, is that I often wake up at 3am thinking about work. Today, for example, it was... "I haven't written to H to tell him we have funding for that workshop". It would be great to be able to write these things down and then go back to sleep rather than lie awake holding it in my brain. I also love the idea of setting aside some time at the beginning of each university/school term to write down all important dates in my phone and then get it working with my computer.

I love the breaking habits concept. This is so true for me. I will buy the book. A course is a good idea too. I could probably persuade work to pay for this (!)

Knackered: it is funny to think that (just maybe) my rather elegant and very 'together' GP lives in a disorganized black hole too. Probably isn't true, but a nice fantasy. You never know what lurks below the surface of people's lives!

Bunny: Work is a juggle, but we are well looked after, in terms of administrative support for teaching and grant writing, and this really helps. My post-docs and PhD students don't need much from me except for guidance on their research, and most meetings on this are regular. Apart from that, they tend just to come and find me if they are stuck, or have a really interesting result. I also have an open door policy with undergraduates, which they seem to like (and saves me organizing meetings).

I do find work-related travel unnecessarily stressful though, and this is something I need to work on.

The notebook was my freakishly organised mums suggestion, she has done it all her life! Its so obvious as well dont know why i never thought of it myself...obviously didnt inherit her organisation genes!

I also didnt realise just how much time i spent worrying about little things until i stopped. Life is so much clearer and easier when you make the effort to be organised with even the littlest things :)
Eg my phone beeped at me this morning telling me to tax my car today smug