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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my kids are not obese?

44 replies

AmberSocks · 25/06/2013 12:16

OK,not sure what made me decide to do it today but i weighed all the kids,and measured them.

I entered the results on a bmi chart meant for kids,i know they are not always accurate,but thought just to get a gist of it.

It said all 3 were overweight to obese,my daughter who is 3 was on the 99th percentile!

Its madness,surely its wrong,none of themlook fat and the boys are really stringy!I can even post photos if no one believes me,im not in denial!

What do i do,just ignore or take them to the hv?not actually seen a hv with any of them apart from the first visit,never been any need.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 25/06/2013 12:18

Ignore it.

These charts are all a load of bollocks.

So long as your children are eating appropriate child-sized portions or decent food and getting plenty of time to run about, why worry?

Original poster
AmberSocks · 25/06/2013 12:19

Actually just put my eldest through again and it says hes a healthy weight.

Maybe i converted it from kilos to pounds wrong?how can a child look normal but be obese?

OP posts:
kelda · 25/06/2013 12:20

If you use the NHS BMI calculator, you can use kilos or stones.

Original poster
AmberSocks · 25/06/2013 12:21

AH i must of converted it wrong,just put them all through again,ds2 was healthy weight too but dd is still on the tip between overweight and obese,still dont get it she looks fine.

OP posts:
farewellfigure · 25/06/2013 12:22

My DS has been on the 99th percentile since he was 6 weeks old and has never wavered. He's completely in proportion height and weight wise. He's 'well covered' rather than some children I've picked up who feel like little feathers in comparison, but no way is he overweight.

You're the best judge...not a chart. Maybe they are on the 99th percentile for height as well which just means they are perfect. I'd only worry if they were 99th for weight and 2nd for height. Then they'd be balls!

Wholetthedogin · 25/06/2013 12:25

It's a difficult one . Our understanding of what a normal weighted child/adult should look like has been altered as we see so many over weight people. It has now become the norm.

With a child, a few pounds can make all the difference.
If you are really worried then perhaps a visit to the GP or Nurse would help?

BarbarianMum · 25/06/2013 12:33

I'd check you've done the conversion correctly Smile

But if it is still coming out as borderline obese then I, personally, would think long and hard before dismissing it as nonsense.

If your dd is very tall for her age ie 99 percentile for height and 99 percentile for weight, then of course she is fine. But if her weight percentile is considerably more than her height percentile then you do need to think about it.

I know several parents of overweight/obese children and they all think their children are fine. Even the one who has to buy age 8 trousers for her 5 year old then cut off about a foot of material from each leg. I do genuinely think its hard to judge your own children cause you see them every day so of course that'sa just how they look.

tmae · 25/06/2013 12:39

My considerably younger sister was a skinny little thing but when you picked her up she weighed a lot compared to her larger friends, although she has always been incredibly strong and those charts to take muscle mass into consideration.

tmae · 25/06/2013 12:39

Sorry I meant to say and those charts don't take muscle mass into consideration. My first attempt was gibberish!

lotsofdogshere · 25/06/2013 12:43

the issue as others have said, is if the children's height and weight are on, or about, the same percentile. I took my two toddlers to be centiled as they were such good eaters, and big girls. The health visitor was great, height and weight for one on 99th centile, for the other 98th centile. They're now adults, both very tall and neither over or underweight - they still love food thankfully

xylem8 · 25/06/2013 12:45

Also they may look ok for an adult, but children are supposed to be way thinner than adults.
In fact the paed told me that children should be on a higher centile for height than weight because the charts are based on averages and the average child is too fat!
Be careful of young children on high centiles for height and weight.Apparently if they are eating too much they shoot upwards and become unusually tall for their age before they start to grow outwards.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 25/06/2013 12:45

My 11 year old sister got a letter home and they said she is borderline obese. It was hilarious!

She is 5foot and so skinny even age 9-10 jeans fall off her waist. She did get some eating issues because of it though as it made her think she was fat. Took a while to get her over that

IneedAyoniNickname · 25/06/2013 12:48

Ds1 comes out as borderline healthy/overweight on the BMI chart.
Ds2 is borderline healthy/underweight.
They both eat the same, if anything ds2 eats more and have similar levels of activity.
I find it fascinating how that makes them so different.

ouryve · 25/06/2013 12:48

Or they might just be naturally tall, xylem.

ShabbyButNotChic · 25/06/2013 12:49

It totally depends on the frame of the child as well. I work in a school and we did this. One of the girls i look after was classed as obese, but she is a very healthy child who swims and plays rugby for the county. She is built like a brick shithouse very strong and there is not a bit of wobble on her, she is solid and very toned from all the exercise she does. Her parents reaction was just 'aye shes a solid lass int she' (yorkshire) and that was that!
Dont take these charts as gospel, if you look at your kids and think they are fine then they probably are :)

farewellfigure · 25/06/2013 12:50

DS (5) grows outwards for a while and looks a little pudgier than normal, then shoots up and we have to go and buy new trousers as they are all too short!

jacks365 · 25/06/2013 12:53

I have naturally tall children dd1 is now 5'9 but as xylem says they have always been higher centiles for height than weight.

poachedeggs · 25/06/2013 12:54

I'd be wary. Last year I got a letter about DS aged 5 saying he was overweight. I thought he was a bit chubby but nothing major so the letter was a shock. I called the school nurse who was surprised to hear from me because apparently nobody ever responds to the letters!
Anyway, I made sure DS kept sports three times a week and took him for an extra swimming session each weekend over the winter, and just put on extra veg instead of extra mash etc, and he's grown a bit, and now she's happy he's fine again. And he looks tons better actually, even though I couldn't see much of a problem to start with.

Last week the school did a slideshow of pictures from the year and when he started he looked HUGE! But I didn't see it then.

FobblyWoof · 25/06/2013 12:55

My DD was born above the 75th centile and quickly went up to the 99th centile where she's stayed since. At her last weigh in, just after she turned a year old, the lady weighed her and then started advising me about her diet. I assured her that my DD eats very healthily. She responded with "oh, yes, but you can give too much, so no daddy sized portions" Shock

Her dad is over six foot, substantially built even when he's not overweight (which is very obvious from looking at him). She'd obviously looked at me being fairly overweight, looked at DP whose a bit overweight and then when she'd weighed DD and saw where she plotted on the graph came to the conclusion that we're clearly feeding her crap or feeding her too much instead of looking at the rest of the chart and seeing she'd been on that line for 50 weeks and her height is the 99th centile too! Angry So she's completely in proportion.

It was all done in a very "nicey, nicey" way which made it more annoying!

xylem8 · 25/06/2013 12:59

I don't know about muscle mass. My 8 yr old does 10 hrs gymnastics a week .She looks muscular and is quite broadframed but is on the 28th centile for BMI (which is fine)

poachedeggs · 25/06/2013 12:59

I think people tend to take this message as a personal slight on their parenting and overlook the fact that it's for the child's benefit. It's actually healthy to be slightly underweight compared to being overweight. (and I'm a porker! )

elfycat · 25/06/2013 12:59

My DD2 are 91st centile and off the chart for height. It's not overeating, it's their 6ft 4 father passing down tall genes and I'm not short either. Mind you we did that calculation in the back of the red book that takes parents heights and gives you a 'new' 50th centile to work from and it is about the 91st for them.

DD1 (4.5) is solid, but solid muscle. Ribs showing, defined flat tummy I'm quite jealous of but she had legs that look like something from an Olympic cyclist. Of course she shows as obese, and the HV and nursery staff all laugh. If she gets thee idea that there's something wrong with her weight I'll take the person who says it apart (verbally only I promise).

elfycat · 25/06/2013 13:01
  • My 2DDs, not DD2, though she is the 91st-er
elfycat · 25/06/2013 13:03
  • plus other spelling errors. I've been typing for 3 hours and crocheting another 3 today and my fingers are all over the place.
Remotecontrolduck · 25/06/2013 13:04

Firstly, check you've done it right. Secondly, be totally bluntly honest with yourself, are they a bit podgy/well built/have a lot of 'baby fat'? These charts can be a load of bollocks, you need to use your eyes and be totally honest.

You're not a bad parent if they are a bit over, you just need to watch their portions!