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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why and one even cares if people mistake their dcs gender?

69 replies

HerrenaHarridan · 25/06/2013 08:58

What's the big deal?

Enlighten me because just don't get it.

Some people take huge pains to make it as obvious as possible their dc is a boy/ girl and get massively offended if people get it wrong. Recently one mother I know has had her dds ears pierced because she has such short hair everyone assumes she's a boy, another had chopped off her boys beautiful blonde curls because people assume he is a girl.

I just don't see the problem what difference does it make?

it's a baby, it's androgynous, it's supposed to be androgynous.

So please, enlighten me.
Do you care?
Why do you care?

OP posts:

ILoveNoodles · 25/06/2013 19:16

aldiwhore I usually ask " whats your name gorgeous?" sort of to the baby obviously the mum will answer either "Tom/Rebecca" at which point you can then say"Aah he/she is lovely.

If its a unisex name Alex for example I then say Day"Aah what a beautiful name how old is Alex?", the mum/dad/whoever will generally then say "he/she is....."

A bit of a faff but better than upsetting someone, and this.method hasn't failed me yet!!!!!

coronalover · 25/06/2013 20:07

I don't take pains to over emphasise DSs 'boyness' but like Octopus I did cut his hair when some other kids in the park thought he was a girl. I'm not bothered if adults get it wrong with DS or DD though

Original poster

HerrenaHarridan · 25/06/2013 20:26

Brilliant, she still thinks my little girl is called Johnny!

OP posts:

GreenShadow · 25/06/2013 20:46

I always loved it when people thought DS1 was a girl.
Maybe I sub-consciencously wanted a girl or more likely because they thought he was pretty.

Bringmewineandcake · 25/06/2013 21:41

Dd was carried out of hospital in her car seat wearing a white sleep suit, white hat, covered in a white blanket with a brown teddy comforter (we hadn't known the gender until the birth). An elderly couple passed us and the lady said "what a sweet looking little boy"...why would you make an assumption in those circumstances? Wasn't actually bothered, just thought it was odd.

Original poster

HerrenaHarridan · 25/06/2013 23:57

Because had he been a girl his grandparents would have descended in a wave of pink before you could leave the hospital. ( this happened to me )

OP posts:

Startail · 26/06/2013 00:24

I used to giggle when people thought DSIS and my, female, best friend were brothers.

We all had boyish, '70's short hair, it just happened my BF and DSIS were both broad shouldered blondes (and I'm not).

MrsMook · 26/06/2013 01:08

DS1 has lushious eyelashes and collar length blonde hair and occasionally gets mistaken for a girl. On the last occasion he was wearing a blue hat with white stars, white vest, navy dungarees and brown shoes, so more masculine than neutral. The time before when I was asked, he'd walked his pushchair with (blue) doll down to the shops.

We had a "Johnny" type incident when he was 4m. Old lady comes up, "oh what a pretty baby, what's her name" reply with his traditional saints/ new testement name. I then get a strange look, firstly for bestowing a boys name on a girl which then changed to doubt.

These things amuse me.

Two mummy friends met at swimming (they were aquaintences). Mummy 1 forgot what sex mummy 2's baby was. She concluded that as baby was only wearing a swim nappy, that baby was most likely to be male. Bad guess. Mummy 2 was not impressed.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 26/06/2013 01:16

Happens lots, only bothered me once:

Senior midwife on the maternity ward insisted Ds was a girl and aggressively told me I was wrong... And did it again later that shift with the same forceful aggression. I was so scared of her I called my son 'she' to stop midwives tirade of vitriol.

I think I was allowed to be upset at that!

CHJR · 26/06/2013 09:53

When DS was little his hair was short but people assumed he was a girl because he had curls. We didn't care but the curls thing surprised us, surely no one deliberately perms a child's hair? (though I don't care if you do!)

itsonlyapapermoon · 26/06/2013 10:13

My younger sister had hardly any hair until she was 4-she used to get upset when people mistook her for a boy, so my mum and the next door neighbour pinned her down on the kitchen floor and pierced her ears ...didn't realise how harsh that was until I had my own kids now I'm a bit . Nice one mum.

TolliverGroat · 26/06/2013 10:34

DD2 is two and a half and people generally assume she's a boy, except on the odd occasion when she happens to be wearing a dress. I don't normally correct people, although my older two DC will do so quite indignantly if they happen to be with me.

CissyMeldrum · 26/06/2013 12:46

All of my boys got called she ,but I did grow their hair until the were about 3, really didn't worry me.

wamabama · 26/06/2013 15:11

DS ALWAYS gets mistaken for a girl, that's why I have an irk with it because it isn't an occasional thing, it's every time we go out somewhere and it's tiresome correcting everyone.

I have 2 DD's as well who have hair in bunches, dresses and tights on etc so I dress them like 'obvious' girls. So you'd think they'd see the difference between them and DS who I think is in obvious 'boy clothes'... But no. He has long wavy hair and a pretty face but still, his clothes make it obvious! And anyway, he got mistaken for a girl all the time as a baby when he had no hair. All I can think to do is get him a shirt or a hat that says BOY on it . I can't bring myself to cut his lovely hair.

MabliD · 26/06/2013 16:17

DD gets mistaken for a boy quite a bit, normally by the older generation. It doesn't bother me remotely but I am confused as to how they manage it as it's usually when she's wearing a dress and sitting in a pink buggy. One the days we are out in jeans and a t shirt and in the red buggy noone ever gets it wrong.

One very lovely old gent went on about what a bonny lad I had... even after he'd asked 'his' name. DD is called Elsie.

TotesAmazeGoats · 26/06/2013 16:25

It annoys me greatly that anytime DD isn't in pink, people assume she's a boy. She's wearing a red skirt FFS. I couldn't care less that they think she's male, it's the automatic assumption that dressed in any other colour, she must be a boy. I hate pink.

cantspel · 26/06/2013 16:28

Back in the 70's when all children were dressed in brown cord regardless of sex i was always mistaken for a boy as i had a short hair cut.

I hated it so you as a parent might not care but the child could.

hedgehogpickle · 26/06/2013 16:49

Although I love some of the pretty girly clothes for DD, I much prefer a lot of the boys t-shirts & things. They get all the Sesame St, dinosaurs, lions/tigers etc and the girls........ Hello bloody Kitty :( I know which ones I'll be buying! And she can choose whichever she wants when she's old enough.

Her being mistaken for a boy occasionally doesn't annoy me in the slightest, though it does amuse me when she's in a dress :)

frissonpink · 26/06/2013 16:54

People always think DD is a boy because she has no hair yet bless her!

I am tempted at times to put a headband thing on her (a stretchy one, before anyone tells me off!) just to reinforce, she's a girl but honestly, it doesn't really bother me that much!

It is funny when she's got a dress on though and people say, what a smiley young boy you've got there

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