Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To chase down all the people who told me the second child is easier...

30 replies

vvviola · 25/06/2013 08:08

... and make them take DD2 for at least an afternoon Wink

DD1 has always been fairly intense - but more verbally, than anything else (early talker, insatiable curiosity, stream of consciousness chatter) although it's combined with the energy of an over exciteable puppy. She's great fun, but hard work.

When I was pg with DD2, I used to joke that another one like DD1 (then 4) would send me batty (I'm an introvert with not huge amounts of tolerance for silliness). I was assured that the second was easier.

Even if we ignore the allergy issues & connected worry (for us) and lack of sleep (for her & by extension us)... They lied. All of them.

Today (a relatively good day) DD2 (now 22 months) has: climbed or balanced on: sofa back, high chair, two toddler bikes, kitchen gate, shelves (in an attempt to get biscuits) and dining table. She has also stolen my glasses and run off cackling, kicked me repeatedly when I tried to change her nappy,,and hidden under a blanket shouting "gone".
In the car she managed to get one arm out of the harness and pull at the door level (thankfully child locked).

She has also given me sloppy kisses. "Put me to bed" when I was sitting on the couch, giggled at my singing, blown raspberries at me, and produced her first 4 word sentence (more pear mummy, yum Grin)

She will turn me grey before she turns two. She's many things: Houdini, comedian, acrobat, minx,trouble.... but one thing she isn't is easier.

ten minutes and counting til bedtime

OP posts:

MissFelicityLemon · 25/06/2013 08:11

You would be unreasonable to chase them down. You chose to listen to them and have another child. What are you a sheep that just follows the herd? :)


dinkystinky · 25/06/2013 08:11

My second child was definitely not easier than my first - I think somethings are easier because you know about nappies/weaning/bfing etc, but they are different personalities and adjusting to that is pretty hard! DS2 was a handful from 7 months to 3 - then at 3 suddenly turned into a charming little person. He's still spirited but at least now he listens. Hang on in there.


Sokmonsta · 25/06/2013 08:12

I agree wholeheartedly. Dd1 was a dream baby. We knew we could not be so lucky again and boy were we right. Ds1 is a right handful. Doesn't sleep well, eats poorly. Behaviour... well it leaves a lot to be desired. Always has done. Weirdly dts (dd2 and ds2) are much easier again!


phantomhairpuller · 25/06/2013 08:12

My second is easier than my first. So far! Wink


TanglednotTamed · 25/06/2013 08:13

Ah, but you see, OP - it's not the second child that's easier, it's the THIRD. Absolutely true (for me). Best go and have no. 3, and life will improve.


dubstarr73 · 25/06/2013 08:19

My 22nd was not easier so far to say he would turn you off having children.
He was an awful crier,never stopped.There was nothing medically wrong it was just the way he was.


TanglednotTamed · 25/06/2013 08:24

22nd dubstarr? Respect!


vvviola · 25/06/2013 08:31

Ah, MissFelicity, I chose to have a second child before they said it ... It was just kind of reassuring to hear it. I wouldn't change a minute of it... but I might have gone on a slightly longer holiday first Wink

OP posts:

Hamwidgeandcheps · 25/06/2013 08:31

Yanbu. Dd2 is a handful at 7 months cruising and crawling and climbing and being a total liability. Dd1 was nothing like this!


dubstarr73 · 25/06/2013 08:33

My 2nd haha not 22nd


vvviola · 25/06/2013 08:33

OP posts:

DeWe · 25/06/2013 09:50

Mine have got personality more difficult.
I give the example of if I drew a line and said don't cross.
Dd1 wouldn't go near the line in case she accidently crossed it.
Dd2 would go right up with her toes on the line to see how close she can go.
Ds would run across with speed to see how far over the line he could get before he was caught. Grin

But I still found dd2 and ds were easier in some ways. Firstly I knew better what I was doing. But also they were entertained by the older ones, so I didn't need to be the only source of entertainment.


BuntyCollocks · 25/06/2013 09:59

My second is so far easier than the first. However, 2 of them, aged 2.5 and 6 months, is a fucking nightmare at times, especially if they both have a bad night.


jacks365 · 25/06/2013 10:03

Dd1 & 2 were both easy babies and toddlers, dd3 on the otherhand was hard work, didn't sleep ever dd4 is great for sleeping and a very happy child but she's a complete daredevil and keeping up with her is hard work.


TanglednotTamed · 25/06/2013 10:49


That seems familiar. OP, are you one of my DC?


It works for us! DC3 just slotted right in, and the other two keep her completely entertained, so she is unbelievably easy. But she has only slept through the night about 3 times in her life and she's now 2, though, so maybe she makes up the attention deficit then


shelley72 · 25/06/2013 10:55

You see I would have said that my first was 'challenging' - sounds just like yours op, demanding constantly chatting, asking questions, commenting on everything.

That was until my second came along.

She is far more difficult - into everything I struggle to keep her safe on a daily basis. Also has had sleep allergy and speech issues. Good job she's very loving and cute and that you can't return them


tumbletumble · 25/06/2013 11:02

Don't listen to Tangled! My third is BY FAR the hardest!!


Sparklysilversequins · 25/06/2013 11:08

I was staggered at how much harder a second child was. Utterly back breaking. She was very High Needs and her Dad did NOTHING. We are not together now.

My first child ds was so quiet and calm, slept through at 6 weeks etc. napped three hours every day between 2 & 5 without fail. Was totally expecting another the same.

I always said if I had had dd first I would never have had another.


SugarMiceInTheRain · 25/06/2013 11:08

My second as an individual was much easier than my first. However having 2 children to run round after was a shock - going from 1-2 was far harder IME than going from 0-1. Somebody please tell me it's easier going from 2-3? (Pregnant with #3 after a bit of a gap)


Startail · 25/06/2013 11:12

Ah, but my second was easier, because I had your climb everything DD1 first and playing with toys for 10 minutes DD2 second.

It's just luck of the draw what order mischief arrives in.


mamachelle · 25/06/2013 11:12

i think its dc3 you need to be prepared for! dc1 and 2 slept well and were content babies, turning into partners in crime and mischief making toddlers.

dc3 was a content baby but my god she is stubborn, emotional and everywhere! think jekyll and hide crossed with a whirlwind! she is 4.5 now and will start sch in sept. i do hope they are ready for her!

i cant wait to see what dc4 is like :)


gemdrop84 · 25/06/2013 11:35

Ha ha, must say that's what people told me but had a feeling ds would be hard work from when I was pregnant and didn't believe it! Started at my 12 wk scan, he wouldn't keep still to be measured. At the 20wk scan the sonographer found it hilarious when he was wriggling around and was hitting the probe with his fist when she was trying to look at his heart. Dd slept through from 6 wks, napped for 2 hrs twice a day, was happy being left in bouncy chair to play whilst we got on with things. Ds likes to fight his sleep, has only just started having a good nights sleep, hardly naps and doesn't like to be left alone. They're like chalk and cheese!


vvviola · 25/06/2013 12:09

You know sparklysilver, you've just made me realise - when DD2 was tiny (pre-6 months when the allergies kicked in & pre-toddler independence) I may have made some comment about how DD2 was so easy that if I'd had her first I'd be on number 4 by now.

Maybe I tempted fate and it's all my own fault Wink

Wouldn't change either of them for the world though but would do anything for pause and mute buttons

OP posts:

eragon · 25/06/2013 12:19

my first was pretty laid back. a placid happy baby, and toddler,once we got over the colic and poor sleep. (well we thought it was poor sleep pattern in our innocence.)
2nd baby was born, coughed a little and fell asleep. he remained a laid back contented baby and child.
3rd baby. never slept, and and was very high need.
4th was ok once we got over the colic. again placid and easy.

it depends on the human infant you make each time, same genes, but different bake.


stopgap · 25/06/2013 12:21

Currently pregnant with number two, and hoping and praying that child number two is easier than my first as a baby, who:

Had silent reflux for close to a year
Would scream for up to ten hours a day
Had to be worn constantly/breastfed hourly
Zero tummy time
Would not go in a pushchair without screaming
Could not be in a car longer than ten minutes without balling

All that being said, DS is now 22 months and an absolute dream. We took him to a bluegrass concert the other night, and he sat on my knee and didn't make a peep for 90 minutes. Yes, he has the usual toddler tantrums, but overall he's a funny, mostly laid-back, incredibly sweet little boy.

I don't want to curse myself, but maybe I would take a year of newborn hell in exchange for an easy toddler.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?