To wonder where the school get off?!

[Gossipmonster]

School have sent home a letter outlining new rule tightening around lateness, uniform etc for September. Fair enough (although I can see the skinny trouser ban being a PITA for all parents of girls).

They also state that if your child is off sick they need to be looked after by yourself or another adult - and spot checks will be made. WFT? I (will) have a 16, 14 and 12 yr old (youngest maybe fair enough), work full time and am on my own.

So evey time one of them is ill I am expected to take a day off work?

I think this is ridiculous esp when observing the 48 rule with V and D.

Do the school have a right to stipulate this? .

It's utterly ridiculous that, in some cases, teenagers being home alone is abuse. I was home alone all summer (9 weeks of it - !) from age 13 because my parents worked and none of the camps took teenagers. The same went for the majority of my friends.

I also was home alone for at least 2 hours every evening after school until my parents finished work. It's not "neglect" it's called parents having to work and teenagers being perfectly capable of looking after themselves!

The 'LAW' on leavign children at home, is completely grey and blurry.
As AndHarry's link shows.
Your definition of risk may be different to anyone else's.
If you got a strict judge they could condemn you, but a lighter judge might not, if you said "well, I did this. I thought about that. I thought it was o.k, but it wasn't ......"
The whole thing is just impossible to fathom.

Plus, there is no LAW, is there?
The nspcc is just guidelines. Not law. Just advisory. guidelines.

Nowhere is it black and white where it says ... you can/ can't at age xxx.

Neglect. Oh purrlease.

In my world, it's not only not called neglect: it is called parents making sure teenagers are equipped with a proper skills set before they leave home.

My 16yo has two years left at college. After that she will be leaving us, she will be leaving her home town; if she gets her wish, she will go and live on her own in a very large and rather dangerous city. She will have to cope alone all night and every night, she will have to use her own judment about dubious strangers/boyfriends/men who knock at the door, she will have to look after herself when she is ill and decide whether she needs a doctor or A&E.

How do I expect her to cope with all that without being overwhelmed if she has never even had to spend an afternoon alone in bed with the sniffles before? (Will the Fairy Godmother turn up and wave her magic wand on her 18th birthday? Or is this perhaps my job?)

And she will need not to be overwhelmed, because the greater part of her attention will have to go on a demanding and difficult course, not on everyday tasks.

I think the school is getting confused because what they are quoting is the rules for an excluded child. They have to be inside and under adult supervision and can be checked up on. The idea behind that is to make it inconvenient for parents to try to force them to address the problems. In this case I would just ask the school toprovide you with a copy of the relevant legislation and watch them back track. Our school tried this one a couple of years ago.

jacks365 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:17:31
"I think the school is getting confused because what they are quoting is the rules for an excluded child."

Of course that explains it, jacks! That makes sense.

Because an excluded child is by definition a child that is in some way out of control and so needs supervision. And you have to make sure exclusion is a punishment, not a treat.

So basically, they are treating sick teenagers on the assumption that they are lying about their illness and likely to be out of control. Charming.

Sounds like dd's old junior school. And I have also found asking to see a copy of the legislation very effective.

Bloody hell, if DS can't get himself up and ready for school on his own at age 14, I will have cocked up somewhere along the line. How is it neglectful? I'm genuinely baffled by this. Parents have jobs. A loved, well cared for child who has the responsibility of getting themselves up on a weekday morning is now considered a sign of abuse?

Being a social worker must be the shittest, hardest job in the entire world if this is the kind of crap you have to wade through before being able to actually help families who really need it.

Can I "see a copy of the legislation?"
= very effective.

cory I agree with you.

'What's wrong with a 15 year old getting themselves up and to school without an adult?'

Nothing wrong with that, but I guess the worry is that the parents might have buggered off on holiday for a fortnight and left DC home alone

xylem8 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:39:46
"'What's wrong with a 15 year old getting themselves up and to school without an adult?'

Nothing wrong with that, but I guess the worry is that the parents might have buggered off on holiday for a fortnight and left DC home alone"

How bad would that be if we are talking about an older teen. Legally, they can marry at 16 with parental permission. Does the law then expect them to live in the parental home with their spouse? Or is there some tacit assumption that if parents can decide someone is mature enough to marry they are also mature enough to be on their own?

This can't be right can it? Nobody has a childminder or after school club for teens do they?

Not only do most parents of 16yos I know have jobs: most 16yos I know have jobs too.

Cory- I know there are no black and white laws on this , but the NSPCC would certainly class view it as neglect.

no it not
how is the teachers going to teach there kids in the class room if there going round the homes
tell the police not 999 thou

Unless I am mistaken, 16 is the age when children usually leave foster care at 16 and start independent living. So the government can do it longterm to vulnerable children, but I can't do it for a week to my well brought up and well prepared daughter?

(Mind, I am not saying I think this is a good idea for foster children: I think we should be spending far more on transitional care.)

fwiw most SW's I have met laugh aloud at NSPCC recommendations, when they don't find them downright harmful.

sorry last post full of typos

I agree.

When 12 year old ds is ill I leave him at home while I take the others to school or pop to the supermarket. Far crueller to drag him out than let him sleep at home where he can get to the loo quickly or sleep.

"xylem8 Tue 25-Jun-13 10:35:28
Cory- I know there are no black and white laws on this , but the NSPCC would certainly class view it as neglect."

Which is one of the many reasons that the NSPCC are full of shit; and why I will never donate a penny to its dreadful, unhelpful, manipulative campaigns.

At 16 I was living with my boyfriend . Can't believe the school can actually do that? Can they?

We are talking about under 16s though Cory.
Although I have had to sign a permission slip for my 17 year old to go on a trip , and also have to sign him out of his badminton class at the local council leisure centre!

It's ridiculous and unenforceable.

"We knocked and there was no answer. Our made up law says this is BAD"

"She was at her nan's/dad's/friends. You said you wanted her looked after by an adult."