To think my friend is silly stalking her children's school trips?

[snooter]

A good friend with children at my son's school tries very hard to spy on school trips by lurking in the same area hoping to 'accidentally on purpose' bump into them . I think it strange

I almost once did the same (note almost). It was ds1s first trip. He was 3, in nursery and they went to a local LAKE to look at the wildlife.

I felt sick the whole day, until I picked him up. I mean really, what genius thought it was a great idea to take 20 3 year olds to play near a huge expanse of water?!?

My DDs went on a school trip to Disneyland Paris in year 6. (A music tour - they sing/ play instruments on the stage there, and a couple of other concerts. They also spend the day at the park.)

In both years, some parents came to "surprise" their DC.

To be fair, one of the parents in DD1's year sort of lurked because her DD had a recently diagnosed medical condition, which could have resulted in an emergency, so she wanted to be close by.

But all the rest, well, I can't believe they would spoil their DC's trip like that. One even brought a younger sibling!

The eldest is 4 years away from being an adult....that is waaaaay too overprotective!

She needs to stop helicopter parenting,and cop onto herself.I'm guessing she doesn't have much else going on in her life? (I'd also make a guess her children are boys,but I could be wrong)

She doesn't work so I suppose has too much time to worry.

This is bringing back horrible memories of when my anxiety was at its worse. I usually volunteered to go on trips, but one residential I didn't and burst into tears in the high street as I though two teachers were looking at me and the only reason for that would be because they were wondering whether I knew about whatever awful thing had happened. All three are away ATM- 2 overseas and 1 I'm being picking up later- the residue of the anxiety is still there. I hope your friend is just a bit silly with time on her hands!

Totally understandable if the trip is to the Bahamas.

Less so if it is to Bognor Regis!

You can be anxious, but you have to keep it a dark secret and never let them know- it is your problem and not one to burden them with.

How mortified must her poor DC be? They are going to leave home as soon as they can and never look back if that is typical behaviour.

The only time I have understood this sort of thing is the mother of a child (aged 9/10) with multiple life-threatening allergies. She desperately wanted him to be able to go on (overseas) school trip, but there was the very real possibility of him ending up in hospital, especially as allergen labelling/awareness is not as good in the country in question as in the UK. I overheard her discussing with the staff the possibility of her staying nearby, not letting the child know, but being at the end of the phone if anything happened (as well as, rather than instead of, epipen training and extreme vigilance by staff). I don't know what they ended up doing, TBH, but I did think that understandable.

This woman has way too much time on her hands. If she doesn't want a job she should do some charity work. I'm actually really embarrassed on this silly woman's behalf

why doesnt she go on the trips or is she scared she wont be paired with her own children Loon obviously,

I know a mum who used to do this wouldnt volunteer but hop in the car and follow the coach(or send granny to do it) she dropped into the Primary 7 residential weekend as she was passing who passes an adventure centre 5 miles off the main road I recently saw her in a picture with her dd going to prom Her dd all her friends and her grinning at the end of the photie

She is in for a terrible time (and so are her kids) when they try to fly the coop as adults.

Really,as a friend of hers,I think you should (gently) try to point that out to her.She needs to start building a life outside of her kids.

Her daughters just seem resigned to it. She lets them go to parties, concerts, sleepovers & so on, it just seems to be school trips. I think the deal is that she tags along or they don't go.

but WHy wont she volunteer to go as a parent helper then she wont need to lurk in bushes bump into them

I went to school with a girl who wasn't allowed on the trip coach. Her mum used to drive behind the coach with her daughter in the car.

The mum had lost her sister in a coach crash and had a fear of her daughter travelling on buses/coaches. Her mum used to drop her next to the coach when we arrived and pick her up as we got back on the coach. We never saw her anywhere through the day.

Misty - I can understand that.

That is understandable misty the mum didnt want her dd to miss out and she dropped her and left and wasn't lurking

My mum did this once when my ski club went on a trip. I was a couple of years younger than the others and we were going to a water park. I was desperate to go but she was very worried because of the swimming aspect. She sent my dad to spy - I had no idea (he also didn't live with us and didn't know my friends so they wouldn't spot him - dread to think what people thought of the lone man staring at a girl constantly). It worked well, I got to go on my trip and mum was less anxious (although dad found it hard - apparently girls all look the same in swimsuits with wet hair!). I would have been mortified if I had bumped into him.

I was only about 6 though, and there was an element of risk. I can't imagine someone doing this for a 12 or 14 year old (I could understand if there were medical needs).

I presume the school wouldn't want someone who was clearly a complete loon overly anxious to help on a trip. You need calm people who will take responsibility for other people's children.
At 12 and 14, they don't use Parent helpers anyway.

14 and 12?

This woman is crazy.

We all understood why the mum took her daughter and no one teased the girl or mentioned it.

I don't everyone would have been so understanding if her mum had followed us around.

don't think*

There are some cases where it is understandable. As in where misty described or stealth, due to the allergies, but if there are no other reasons she needs to let them grow up!