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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a dog

25 replies

farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 11:53

DS (5) and I want a dog. DH and the cat don't want a dog. Surely mine and DS's votes outweigh DH's and the cat's?

The fish is impartial btw.

OP posts:
LEMisdisappointed · 24/06/2013 11:57

Have you thought about what getting a dog implies?

GrimmaTheNome · 24/06/2013 11:58

The cat has no voting rights.

Your DS doesn't really get a vote because he won't be responsible for the work and the costs entailed.

So what are your DHs excuses reasons for not wanting a dog?

Floralnomad · 24/06/2013 12:00

You shouldn't get a dog unless all the adults in the house want one , they make a massive change to your lifestyle .

Original poster
farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 12:04

DH doesn't want a dog because the cat will freak out. It's lighthearted really. I realise we can't really get one while the cat is still with us when i have my sensible head on. Apart from the cat, all other aspects of a dog would be fine... roomy garden, plenty of time for walks, holidays sorted etc. Hey ho.

OP posts:
Whoknowswhocares · 24/06/2013 12:23

Plenty of cats learn to share their home with a dog, so if that is the only reason not to get one now, then I'd say you could certainly consider it.
Perhaps your oh is using the cat as an excuse though?
If there was no cat, would he want a dog?

LEMisdisappointed · 24/06/2013 12:27

If the cat is the only reason, then dont let this put you off getting a dog - the cat will be fine, unless it is a really timid cat but I have introduced dogs to cats, cats to dogs with no problems. If you went for a rescue dog they would match you with a dog that is ok with cats, if you had a puppy, the cat will have plenty of time to let the dog know who's boss. So yeah, "the cat will freak out" doesn't cut the mustard, sorry dh!

LucieLucie · 24/06/2013 12:30

Why don't you volunteer to foster a dog for a while? That way you get to sample how life would be and test the cat at the same time. Cats are resilient and will find hidey holes when it needs peace and quiet.

Original poster
farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 12:36

Ooh fostering sounds good. The reason we think the cat will freak out is because we looked after a friends' cat for a year and our cat started weeing and pooing all over the house (not good). The other cat has gone back home now and normality has returned. Mind you a cat would freak at another cat, but not necessarily a dog... yes?

OP posts:
ShabbyButNotChic · 24/06/2013 12:39

The cat would get used to it i think, we had a evil cat when i was a kid, then my dad adopted a soppy old labrador as his friend was getting rid. It was a dodgy first couple of days but then they were fine together. We were worried about the dog chasing the cat but the cat was definitely the boss! They ended up loving each other. So dont let that be the only reason you dont get one :)

Lonecatwithkitten · 24/06/2013 12:44

Bear in mind that the cat would probably vote for you all to leave and staff attend the house at correct intervals to fed and live the cat as required. Nothing you ever do will
Be good enough for the cat so it's vote doesn't count.

Original poster
farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 12:48

True. Her latest trick is insisting that we let her out through the back door as she's far too important to use the cat flap. OK... so by opening the back door for her because we can't stand her annoying us and miaowing, she's 'taught' us how to behave to her standards. We are such mugs.

To be honest I'd feel sorry for any dog we brought into this house. She probably teach it to obey her every whim.

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 24/06/2013 12:54

The cat doesn't get a vote!

Our dog and cat get on fine - well, I say fine, what I mean is that the cat treats the dog with utter contempt and the dog is a bit scared of her.

The first few days were a bit rocky when the cat expressed her disgust at the arrival of the dog by pissing copiously in DH's shoes and they nearly came to blows when dog raided cat's food bowl but they're generally fairly polite to each other

HellsAngel81 · 24/06/2013 12:55

What LucieLucie said :-)

Or perhaps offer to walk dogs at your local rehoming centre? The ones where i live are always crying out for walkers! Plus, you might find a suitable dog this way ;-)

KittensoftPuppydog · 24/06/2013 13:58

We fostered our dog. We were only supposed to have her for a few weeks, and it's now 4 years later. She just fitted straight in.
My dh was dubious at first, but he told me the other day that he thinks he loves her as much as he loves me. And I didn't mind.

diddl · 24/06/2013 14:08

We got a rescue dog a couple of years ago when our cat was 9.

The cat has showed him that she's the boss-when the dog got too close for example.

But we do have the most fantastic, placid, good natured dog.

He has never bothered her at all, or in fact been at all interested in her.

Eliza22 · 24/06/2013 14:14

I've had this discussion for 2 years. We have a cat who is 5 today. So, nowhere near death, as it were. I am really scared shell leave home..... And I do love her.

DH reiterates his stance each time the getting of a dog comes up for discussion. He tells me it will not be his dog to walk/deal with/ "do". He likes dogs but, he doesn't want one.

My son is 12 and has Aspergers. I contacted the "Dogs for Autism" people to ask about getting one for him, years ago. We were not successful. However, they said they could help in the training of a dog, preferably a lab or Golden, if we had our own. I've been banging on about it, ever since.

I'd say, if its an old cat you have, I guess you could wait (I KNOW that sounds awful!). Or, you could try having a friend's dog over?

It might be hard if the whole family (not the fish) are not 100% about it.

Original poster
farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 14:28

The cat is 15, but very very (annoyingly) healthy. Actually I do love her and go all funny if I ever think about her (sob) dying.

OP posts:
GROOVEYCHICK · 24/06/2013 15:07

I have 2 dogs ( one a 6 month old husky pup ) and 3 cats and the cats rule the roost
If the dogs have a treat they go to the treat box and all line up for a treat its so funny to watch
I'm a good bit greyer though

ICBINEG · 24/06/2013 15:40

Do NOT get a dog.

Seriously it is a shit idea.

See most of MN for reasons why....particularly the doghouse bit.

LEMisdisappointed · 24/06/2013 16:07

ICBINEG - why is it a shit idea, i have two dogs, ive always had dogs, i would never want to be without one. Cats on the other hand, i can live without.............. well actually i have to as DP is allergic and my two JRs would think id bought them home a tasty snack if i got a cat.

cantspel · 24/06/2013 16:09

The persons wish not to have a dog should always over rid the person who wishes to have one for the simple reason that you should not bring any animal into a home where it is not wanted by all who live there.

samandi · 24/06/2013 16:18

The cat might be fine with the dog, then again s/he might not. If it's an older cat I think it's unfair to even think about it. But I'd say not having your husband's support and a young kid thrown into the equation complicates things. I wouldn't get a dog if my partner didn't want one, everyone has to be on board really.

samandi · 24/06/2013 16:19

So yes, YABU.

Original poster
farewellfigure · 24/06/2013 17:00

Oh don't worry... I wouldn't get a dog without DH being on board. I can't drive, so I wouldn't be able to go and get one anyway Smile. It was all a bit tongue in cheek really.

OP posts:
dippywhentired · 24/06/2013 19:01

We got a Golden Retriever when I was a child and we alread had a large, grumpy ginger cat. The cat used to sit on a chair, and when the dog tried to walk past, he'd take a swipe at her nose, just to show her who was boss. (He liked her really!)

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