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To think it's not acceptable when people don't report abuse?

10 replies

Buddhagirl · 23/06/2013 18:49

I've been on Mumsnet for a while and occasionally a thread comes up where someone asks if they should report abuse against a child. Some do and some just leave the thread so we never know. How is there even a question? Why would someone just stand by and not do anything? Your almost complicit in it. I don't get it. It's quite scary.

OP posts:

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper · 23/06/2013 18:58

YANBU. I understand being scared to do it but I do not understand letting fear stop you helping a child. Or the people who don't report it because they don't want to cause trouble. Its frightening what people will put before a child's safety.


TidyDancer · 23/06/2013 19:00

I've been in that position and YABU.

Sometimes when you're in the thick if a situation, you need an outsider to confirm whether or not your concerns are genuine or whether you are emotional to the point of having your perspective distorted.

It is clear you haven't been in such a horrible position, and I hope you never are.


xylem8 · 23/06/2013 19:02

don't emotionally engage with anything you read on the internet.


freddiefrog · 23/06/2013 19:10

I've been in this position fairly recently with regard to a younger half sibling of my foster child.

I always thought I'd know what to do, that I'd report without question, but actually I found it really hard. I did it, but I was so conflicted


Buddhagirl · 23/06/2013 20:16

Xylem, good idea. Tidy I have, I reported it. Fair play freddie frog, why were you conflicted?

OP posts:

freddiefrog · 23/06/2013 20:23

My FC had told me stuff in confidence, for me to report it would break her confidence and potentially her trust to tell me stuff in future.

I had to report it, and I'd do it again if I had to, I just never expected to find it so hard

Although, with hindsight, I think FC told me this stuff because she was worried and she knew I'd act on the information, therefore taking the responsibility away from her


Itchywoolyjumper · 23/06/2013 20:33

I agree Freddiefrog.
I had to report a situation I came across a wee while ago and I've never been so frightened in my life. The only thing that kept me going was that if I felt this as a grown adult with only a glancing encounter with the situation what must the child involved have felt like everyday and night of their life.


freddiefrog · 23/06/2013 20:40

Yes, there was my family's safety to consider too

The family know where we live, they would have known any reports came from me, and I have 2 children of my own

It was just difficult. Not as clear cut as I had always expected it to be


Itchywoolyjumper · 23/06/2013 21:44

I felt that way too. I always thought I'd just do it and feel righteous but it was hard. I've had loads of training in safeguarding and even with that background I was really surprised by how scary it was.
I'm glad I did it and when it needs to be done there really is no alternative but as you say just not as clear cut as you think it will be.


EmmaGellerGreen · 23/06/2013 21:50

We reported a neighbour,her children were removed and she was convicted of neglect. She has made our lives very very difficult since then,making false malicious reports about us and other neighbours to ss, police and employers. Nothing can be done.

I would, I hope, report again, but I would also be very mindful of the impact of doing so on my own family.

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