To want him to stay home?

[GiveMeVegemite]

My DH has a great job and gets to work from home 4 days a week, sometimes 5. This means that he can help out with our DS who is 12 months. I am currently 7 months pregnant with DS 2 and was looking forward to loads of help, especially since I have to have a c section. He would get 2 weeks paternity, plus 2 weeks time off.

BUT he has just been offered an even better job , money wise, (over 25k more than he is on now) which would mean we would be very comfortable. However, this is a contract for 12 months so no paternity (he would still take 2 weeks unpaid leave) and he would have to be in the office every day.

We are so up in the air about it. Am I being unreasonable to think the money isn't worth the family time at home? He already gets paid a lot so I don't think it is worth it?

But why would a parent of two NEED a mothers help? Why do the whole SAHM role if you don't want do it?

Because OP is having a Csection?

So for the first couple of weeks it would be advisable, wouldn't it?

But agree that she does seem to have got too used to her oh being there.

I would take the job. 25k is a great lift in money & suits you time wise. Could you get some help with the extra money?
When I say help I don't mean it to sound patronising,can't think of an alternative word but ykwim.

This is one of those where in a few years time you will look back and say "What on earth was I thinking wanting DH to give up a wonderful career opportunity and the family to give up £25k in order that I didn't have to strap the baby in a bouncy chair so I could go to the toilet..."

He should take the job if he wants to.

I think he should take it

But he will be taking two weeks off anyway Diddl as I read it, just unpaid

I don't know about csection recovery times, but if 2 weeks is enough-well fine!

If not, get help for another week or so!

But to refuse a 12month job on the basis of needing help for a couple of weeks seems ridiculous.

In any case £25k could buy a cleaner, post-natal doula and mother's help for a while and leave plenty of change for a couple of nice holidays.

You can't ask someone to give up a 25k pay rise because you want someone to look after the kids when you go to the loo. Buy a playpen.

Another one saying he should take the job. It's not just the £25K, it's the better employment prospects down the line with having the great job on his CV. And the more his salary increases, the more he's "worth", IYSWIM.

And yes, coping with a toddler and a newborn can be a nightmare, but you'll manage - loads of us have managed. You just have to lower your expectations to virtually nothing - just getting to the end of a day with everyone still alive is an achievement. And if you're struggling, you'll get support and advice on MN. Do you have family nearby?

Probably 12k after tax and NI (if on 40% tax bracket) if that helps you decide. Minus the commuting costs.

YABU.

He should take the job.

Use the 25 grand to buy DS a play pen, then pop him in that whenever you need the loo.

Take the job.
You don't need someone to look after children while you pee, you need to think long term.

Yabvu it's really not that hard to look after two dc's on your own even they are close in age. Many many parents manage just fine

£25000 would let me send my DDs to private school, so it's a total no brainer here.

However, I sympathise with loosing the home working, I love having DH about and yes he does occasional non things during the day, but works early morning and into the evening. No problem as far as work is concerned as long as stuff is emailed in by when it's needed.

He should take the job.

Babies are hard work, but pretty straight forward. You've had the benefit of him being at home until now, count that as a blessing. If this job is going to progress his career, will it put you in a better place when your children are older (and IME cost more)? For 12 months when they are so young, and if it makes a big difference to your futures, then yes he should. You'll get through it.

Can the extra money pay for help?

Comments about SAHM should just cope are plain nasty.

It's tiring, stressful and very very lonely being a SAHM.

Not everyone has family round the corner or makes friends at the drop of a hat.

It takes two people to make a child and looking after that child is just as much the fathers responsibility as the mothers. That responsibility doesn't end with ££££.

If you're earning more, you can afford a Mother's Help. Simple :) And it's so much nicer than having your DH underfoot. My DH worked from home and was dreadful at multi-tasking. Much easier without him so my mum took pity on him and given him my old bedroom for an office over at her house.

I would urge him to take the job, sounds great for him.

Take the job, and pay for some post-natal help after the c-section. It's not ideal but £25k is a LOT of money, and never underestimate how important it is to have a job you enjoy.

This is an absolute non-issue. He should take the job, no questions asked.

7 months pregnant you say, OP? Parked on any private drives recently?

If he'd meant to be working from home, then I doubt he'd be available to offer "loads of help".

Since you've come online to ask strangers for their opinion, I'm guessing he's keen to take the job.

Where