To be sick of these comments about my parenting?

[Jane04]

I feel like it is me against my family all the time. They feel the need to comment about my parenting all the time and I am getting sick of it! Some of the things include-

"He needs a nappy change, I am going to change his nappy" - He doesn't as I have already done this.

"I wouldn't feed him that, he doesn't seem to like it" - He has had it plenty of times before and loved it, I'll cook my DS anything I want to.

"I would put him to bed now, he looks tired" He goes to bed at 7 and wakes up at 8, I think my routine is working well for me.

"I hope that if DS does have a violent moment that you will smack him otherwise he will never learn and will turn into a nightmare" Repeat at least three times a week, I WILL NEVER SMACK MY CHILD.

"He doesn't need a coat on, he will get too hot" I know when my child is too hot and when I am going out with him for a walk and it is raining he needs to wear a coat.

"He looks hot, you need to give him some calpol" He is fine, has been fine all day.

When DS is crying and I am comforting him- "Give him here, I'll get him to stop" I am fully capable of comforting my child thank you.

These are very few examples of what has been said over the last few days.

Every time I say something like "I will parent DS how I want" to let them know that I am getting annoyed at there criticism they get extremely annoyed and ignore me.

I am fucking sick at the end of my tether with this now.

AIBU? I am getting more angry when I hear a comment being said and I am extremely close to telling them all to fuck off stop belittling my parenting.

I'm certainly no God, but I did mean to type "no good" there.

What's being young or single got to do with it habba? Why would she be unreasonable if she were dot dot dot dot?

Op sounds like you're doing all the right things - ignore them, get a few good stock replies and spend less time with the worst offenders.

HabbaDabba I really fail to see what that has got to do with anything?

OP I feel your pain. My sister went through this with my mum and my nephew and I can feel that I going to get it from DM and MIL when I have DC1 in October.

I would be very tempted to start talking to the baby "Hosh, isn't granny being silly and annoying? We've already told her all this haven't we DC? Do you think it would really be too rude to tell her to piss off? You're probably right, that would only make things worse. Yes it would "

It worked for me- it was even turned into a virtue with MIL saying 'exotic knows her own mind' said completely without resentment. I did it all without falling out, being unpleasant or imposing my views on her.

Talking to the baby is highly irritating. Either smile, nod and ignore or sit down to discuss it calmly in an adult manner. I know the baby is too young to understand but I don't think they should be used like that - who knows if they could talk they might say 'actually I agree with granny'

I still prefer the smile, nod and ignore- it is such a short period and generally stops once the baby can walk and talk!

I thought Habba's post was sarcastic? If not, then at her!

I agree with rocky that if you keep seething you will eventually snap.

In order to prevent that, iiwy, I would wait till the next comment and quietly say "I understand you're trying to help but, although I'm new to this, I know my chold better than anyone. I want you to stop now. If you don't then I will lose my temper and I don't want to do that as I love you/like you/have to put up with you."

If it's relevant you might want to add something about them having had their chance to raise a child their way. Now it's your turn.

Or just tell them t stfu

Sarcastic???

Am I the only one who thinks that if the OP was some 16 yr old whose BF went awol then this might explain away other people's actions?

That's got nothing to do with it. I dont understand why you would even bring that up! So single parents cannot be good parents then?! The family are clearly undermining her parenting. It sounds horrible.

And FWIW, 40 yr old first time mums generally do not have any better idea of how to deal with a newborn than 16 yr old first time mums!

So if that was the case it would be ok to make a big deal about her refusing to hit her child?

If a parents doing ok no matter what there age there doing ok.

I was a late 20 highly educated mother with a very supportive DH and I got this for years from both side of the family - drove me mad at times.

I know a very experience nanny and early years educator who had this when she had her own DC.

I found it got less with second and third DC and as the DC got older and seem well behaved and happy.

These people can think they are being helpful or just don't understand it advice has changed or that it not a comment on their parenting if you do things differently.

I found snapping back - reduced it somewhat as there were times ignoring was just getting me very upset.

This will teach me to wander into AIBU Bye ladies.

HabbaDabbaDoo: "Waaah! You're all big cross meanies! All I did was say something moronically stupid and insulting and you jump on me with... with... with your mild reproofs!"