YANBU.
Sometimes, when life seems tough, bad news, sad news, gets sponged up with all the rest of the torment. I speak of course from your DH's point of view, even though I don't think YABU at all.
My DH broke down the other day when his dad got taken into care. I love my DH dearly (completely goofy about him) and I adore my FIL (he's my other dad and friend). I just stared at DH when he told me what was happening, I possibly even shrugged.
It's not like me, I DO care, it's fucking awful (probably nowhere near how you feel) but I just shrugged. I SHRUGGED. I made the packed lunches for the boys, I loaded the dishwasher, I FLICKED through the channels of the TV, made inane conversation, never once acknowledging my DH's pain. I felt ROTTEN about it, but there was a mental block.. perhaps your DH is in that place?
I also broke down when everyone was safely asleep. I have also had a semi-awkward discussion with DH, who is hurt by my uncharacteristic behaviour (I'm the dramatic emotional open one usually). I suspect I am experiencing self preservation, I suspect I will explode/implode at some point, but I'm just carrying on at present.
YANBU to feel hurt and alone and gutted that you have not got the reaction you need right now, YANBU at all.
But I guess from current experience, your DH (if otherwise lovely) is in the same place as me, all I can describe it as is shut down. There's no excuse I know, no comfort in it but I suspect he is probably functioning and processing the data. I know that's no help to you now. I'm not much help to my DH, everything feels insincere!
I am so sorry for your loss and that you feel so alone, but please don't think your DH doesn't care. I don't think there's such a thing as emotional priority when you're emotionally knackered, sometimes the smallest thing can open the floodgates, sometimes the biggest gets no reaction at all! Hang in there.
I am the most cuddly, fluffy, huggy, twatty bloody emotional paramedic (not an actual one) but at present I'm just numb, it doesn't mean I don't care.
Sorry for long post.. I may have got it wrong, but it's worth a shot, because I WISH I could feel what I should feel right now about my FIL, I wish I could be there for my DH, but I just feel numb... so if there's a chance your DH is in this place, please please forgive, give him time.
If he doesn't acknowledge it soon, shout. Loudly, and force reaction. I hope my DH gives me a virtual shake soon. Not sure if that makes sense?