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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that my 'sick' DH would piss off back to work??

26 replies

chubbychipmonk · 21/06/2013 21:59

So DH is ill. Manflu. So far in the last hour I've heard the words 'I feel terrible'. .followed by a pathetic cough about 5 times!

He's meant to be working tonight & I'm raging that my lovely Fri night I had planned has been hijacked by my DH who seemingly is at deaths door!

Anyone else have a DH who's whole world comes to a grinding halt the second they get a sniffle??

OP posts:
Hassled · 21/06/2013 22:01

Mine grew the fuck up once he worked out my zero-tolerance policy wasn't going anywhere. Now he's just a living martyr - sometimes I wish he'd winge a bit.

TheCrackFox · 21/06/2013 22:09

I feel your pain.

I just make a whole load of non-committal noises like "mmm", "uh huh" and "oh dear".

Strange how this man flu doesn't actually lead to pissing off to bed.

Triumphoveradversity · 21/06/2013 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
chubbychipmonk · 21/06/2013 22:14

Exactly!! He's downstairs watching some shitty film on the TV & I'm in the bedroom fuming that my night of catching up with Sky+ has not materialised!

Then he'll come to bed whining, 'I feel terrible'. .

I blame his mum, she's phoned about 3 times today asking how he is!! Shock

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 21/06/2013 22:18

Urgh man flu is the worst. Don't know what happened to my dh, he used to be as hard as nails when it came to being sick. Two years ago he started getting man flu and has been a complete pain in the arse on at least four occasions since then I have zero tolerance for man flu

WillYouDoTheFandango · 21/06/2013 22:18

You need to fake pander to him. Something along the lines if "oh you poor thing, you look terrible. I think the best place for you is bed." Send him up with a lemsip and reclaim your telly.

NB I know that this should not be necessary for a grown adult with a sniffle manflu but it's easier than listening to the moaning

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 21/06/2013 22:19

chubby my mum phones me when I am sick. I don't get it, if I am sick I just want to be left alone in bed not answer 20 questions on how I am feeling.

BridgetBidet · 21/06/2013 22:19

Maybe he's actually ill?

WafflyVersatile · 21/06/2013 22:22

We need a thread about his mum.

3 times? Shock

Original poster
chubbychipmonk · 21/06/2013 22:33

I've no doubt that he is ill to one degree, it's the dying swan routine I can't stand!

When I'm ill (as I think is the case with most women) I just get on with it, or go to my bed without the Oscar winning nose blowing performance!!

And don't get me started on his mum. . .

OP posts:
ilovemulberry · 21/06/2013 22:36

Mind took a day off work for trapped wind!!!

Andro · 21/06/2013 23:05

Dh hates being ill, he will make anyone around him miserable and he knows it. As a result, he lets me know that he's feeling lousy and goes back to bed - in a spare room. Other than offering painkillers and fluids I leave him alone...as per his request.

crumblepie · 21/06/2013 23:13

men always make a meal of it , its like they have got to whimper now and again in case we forget , tell him to piss off to bed . yanbu

AndHarry · 21/06/2013 23:23

That sounds uncannily like my DH when he's feeling 'really rough' and unable to go to work. His cure for this 'rough' feeling generally involves spending all morning playing on the xbox, sending me out to the supermarket with a list of (expensive) food and drink that he thinks might help, a trip to B&Q when he starts to get bored mid-afternoon and then watching bad TV until he hauls himself off to bed (complete with piteous moans) at 11pm. He then isn't quite sure if he should risk going to work the next day, at which point I tell him to stop being such a baby and get dressed before he's late.

It only happens around twice a year though so he's still alive.

Snazzywaitingforsummer · 21/06/2013 23:25

Reclaim the Sky box now! Tell him he needs his sleep if he's ever going to recover and should go to bed immediately Wink

Salmotrutta · 21/06/2013 23:29

I must be very lucky.

My DH never has "man-flu" - if he ever is unwell (rare) and mentions it I know he must really be feeling rough.

My dad, brothers and assorted male relatives are the same. I honestly haven't met any men like this Confused

Salmotrutta · 21/06/2013 23:30

And yes, if he is unwell, he goes to bed.

beanandspud · 21/06/2013 23:37

Same rule for DC and DH... "If you are too ill to be at school/work then you should be in bed resting".

StuntGirl · 22/06/2013 01:22

Thank god mine doesn't do this.

I do have a rule that if you are ill you go to bed. I can't be doing with whingers or moaners.

Pixel · 22/06/2013 18:45

Dh will generally go to bed. What annoys me is that I spend all my time running around after dcs and him, bringing him drinks etc and trying to pretend I still have some patience. Then I get a sleepless night while he snores and groans (we don't have a spare room and only space for 2 seater sofas downstairs. I'm short but there are limits). If by some chance his breathing all over me all night results in me catching his affliction then I just have to carry on as best I can. Suddenly it's downgraded from flu to a bit of a cold.Hmm

monnneeee · 22/06/2013 20:42

My P is exactly like this.

I know men have bigger, but less efficient brains.

I know men have more pain receptors in their brains (as they are bigger).

I know men don't have bodies geared up for monthly pains and child-birth.

But this does not explain how he can have 'a shocking migraine' yet still feel ok to lie on the sofa watching tv all day, bit of playstation, food and drinks supplied by me as completely unable to manage himself and then be absolutely fine to go out in the evening with his mates.

There must be some mollycoddling need they require to be fulfilled to be reassured that we love them or something.

It drives me spare. I try to be sympathetic but it is so obvious he is not ill at all. I think he's had a bad day and wants some tlc but doesn't want to talk about it - so he fakes the migraine.

BonaDrag · 22/06/2013 21:02

Drug his lemsip. It's the only solution 💉

WorraLiberty · 22/06/2013 21:34

God I can't believe how horrible some people are towards their DPs?

If I'm ill, the last place I usually want to go to is bed.

And no-one's going to 'banish' me to my room like I'm a child.

Fair enough I don't do drama queens either, but to be upset because your DH feels to ill to go to work, and it's ruining your TV time...well it's a bit off.

Unless he's not ill and just acting, then YWNBU.

marriedinwhiteagain · 22/06/2013 21:42

Well mine moaned on and off for a few weeks once about aching privates. In the end I told him to stop moaning at me and go to the dr. He did - he didn't then answer his work phone all day (21 years ago - pre mobile). I was worried sick by the time I got home. Message on A'machine. This is the ward sister at x, your DH is going down for surgery now (abt 1.30) give us a ring when you get home and we will update you"

GP sent him straight to hosp, saw consultant who diagnosed torsion of the testicles (the inner tubes twist and draw them up) immediate surgery - it was critical and not far from permanent infertility.

He never complains and I learnt the hard way that if he does, he's ill. He had a week off after that. Apart from that he's had two days off sick in 25 years!

diddl · 22/06/2013 21:49

Mine knows better than to move from bed if he's illGrinBlush

He's allowed down for meals.