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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a crying child on the pavement?

30 replies

Primadonnagirl · 21/06/2013 20:00

Im genuinely shocked by this and it really has made me question myself.I was walking along a busy city centre street today.Coming towards me were two women and a little child of about 3. The little girl was running way ahead in that fast excited way toddlers have. I fleetingly thought she was running too far ahead for someone so little..anyway, all of a sudden she tripped and fell. Not hurt but obviously starts crying ..by this time me and the women had walked toward each other about equal distance apart for the child.So I figure I should keep walking..but as I did one of the women shouted I was an ignorant cow and how could I walk past a little girl who was crying? tbh I was taken aback but I'm afraid I said She's not my child and carried on walking...then they shouted I was a effing bitch..

Now honestly if I had been the nearest adult of course I would have comforted her but in the few seconds it happened I could see she wasn't hurt, her mum ( I presume) was there and I would have probably scared her more rather than comforted her...I appreciate my sarky comment probably didn't help but I still feel I had a point?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 21/06/2013 20:03

I think my guy instinct would have been to help but she sounds very rude!

Eebahgum · 21/06/2013 20:04

I wouldn't have done anything if I thought her mum was close enough to deal with it.

tumbletumble · 21/06/2013 20:05

I wouldn't stop to help a child I didn't know if her mum was just about to reach her. YANBU.

Ginger4justice · 21/06/2013 20:07

YANBU.
Someone (she didn't know) comforted my DD when she fell the other day. She wasn't crying before but she certainly was afterwards!
Although i am probably biased as my DD falls over all the time and very very very rarely is upset by it, all the concerned other people at baby groups etc jumping up every time she falls make me feel like a bad mum when actually she doesn't need or want it.
but your probably still not BU if you could see she had a adult very close by.
Not sure about your reply though, that may have been a little bit unreasonable.

TheSurgeonsMate · 21/06/2013 20:07

YANBU at all. Maybe the reason you feel weird about it is that what you said (not my child) is of course not the reason you didn't do anything?

valiumredhead · 21/06/2013 20:11

Gut not guy

Original poster
Primadonnagirl · 21/06/2013 20:12

I suppose I was just a bit angry that I was the one being criticised when they'd let her run ahead so fast ..but then again I know it's hard to keep control of little ones so I'm not blaming them for that just for their nastiness I suppose

OP posts:
josephinebruce · 21/06/2013 20:13

On the other hand - if you had stopped and tried to comfort her would you then have been shouted at for doing that and accused of interfering with that child (as happened to a friend of mine in a similar situation).

valiumredhead · 21/06/2013 20:13

Oh there's no question she was rude!

BridgetBidet · 21/06/2013 20:14

YANBU, she was obviously just a bitch and would have shouted at you if you'd gone to help as well.

SirChenjin · 21/06/2013 20:14

She was very rude, but my instinctive reaction when I see anyone fall is to reach for them and ask them if they are OK - I couldn't just walk past someone on the floor.

OccasionalTherapy · 21/06/2013 20:16

Can completely understand how you reasoned that, but I've got to say I would probably done that thing where you feint towards helping IYSWIM?
I think it depends on personality really, don't let it bother you...it's not like you went over and put the boot in, is it?

Figgygal · 21/06/2013 20:19

How strange Shock

In the scenario you've described I wouldn't have picked her up either her mum was right there!!

BarbarianMum · 21/06/2013 20:20

She was rude but personally I would have stopped and at least spoken to the little girl, if not help her up. Others have done similar to my children in the past and I've always been grateful for it.

BoomChicaBoom · 21/06/2013 20:20

YANBU - if have done exactly the same thing as you if the child's parent was about to deal with it /close by. Probably would have made eye contact and given a sympathetic look to them /child but if they're about to deal with their own child I don't see a problem. She was very rude. Agree with Bridget that if you'd helped she'd probably scream at you not to touch her child.

runningonwillpower · 21/06/2013 20:22

I think I would have acknowledged the child's accident and distress- in fact I know I would have.

But the response from the apparent people in charge does speak volumes. They sound like low-life.

Judgmental much?

MrsSnow · 21/06/2013 20:26

If no one was around then I probably would have stood close by to make sure nothing else happened to the child. But if you could see the parents and they could see the child surely you were just a passer by.

To be honest when I've seen people stop to help a child in the park etc the parents who are normally not paying attention then go to have a go at the person who helped.

Original poster
Primadonnagirl · 21/06/2013 20:28

Occasional..yes I probably should have done that. I know really I didn't do anything wrong but I feel mean and it's stayed with me all day...hey ho..I doubt she'll need therapy when she grows up because of it !!! hopefully ...

OP posts:
IfIonlyhadsomesleep · 21/06/2013 20:35

Yanbu. I rarely help a child if the parent is nearby because of my ds' response to other adults helping. Better to leave him ten seconds longer than risk his wrath and shouted "I want mummy not youuu!!!". But I do apologise to the poor soul who kindly offered assistance!

OccasionalTherapy · 21/06/2013 20:37

::Fast forward 15 years::

Clumsy Child: Well I guess I can pinpoint when my life went down the shitter to a time when I was pegging it down the street, way faster than my mother and I tripped and fell. I did my best football penalty wail and this BITCH walked straight past me and left me for my mother to comfort me...I mean, how is a child supposed to survive that?

rockybalboa · 21/06/2013 20:53

It was the mum that had a go at you?!? That's just weird. You can't win in those situations because if you did go to help the child you might have been shouted at too, people are suspicious like that these days. I would prob have helped the girl if I'd had my own kids with me as that makes it a bit less random stranger if you see what I mean.

thenightsky · 21/06/2013 21:06

OP you cannot win. I bend down to stop a toddler running head first into my very boney knee. Her eye would have been level with my knee cap. The mother called me to hell and back for putting my hands on her child and stopping her running. I was so upset I cried when I got back to the car

lljkk · 21/06/2013 21:19

lol @ OcTh. yanbu @ OP.

ukatlast · 21/06/2013 21:42

Reminds me of an experience I had in Brighton recently on a busy Saturday. I was walking along at a leisurely pace minding my own busness when my foot kicked a baby's bottle along the pavement...it tripped me up and as I staggered to regain balance, the 'Mother' shouted out...'that's my baby's bottle you fat cow!'

Hmm never did like Brighton much...tis full of weirdos and in-laws.

ukatlast · 21/06/2013 21:43

I mean 'business' of course...

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