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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to leave baby?

53 replies

Drhamsterstortoise · 21/06/2013 15:48

I have a 7 week old dd(breastfeeding).I've been invited on a work night out.aibu to not want to go.Mil says I need to 'man up' and she never felt like this with any of hers.i have an older dd and remembering feeling the same way when she was a baby.Am I overly anxious or is this normal?

OP posts:
BerthaTheBogCleaner · 21/06/2013 15:51

Completely normal. And it will still be normal if you don't want to leave your baby in a month, a year, two years.

Your MIL is an idiot if she imagines that every woman on the planet shares the same emotions in the same situations. Just because she didn't feel like you do, does not mean you are wrong!

You've been invited on a fun night out. You don't think it will be fun because you've got someone you'd rather be with. So don't go.

Firsttimemummy33 · 21/06/2013 15:52

I wouldn't have left my seven week old baby to go on a night out but know lots of mums who would. It's up to you and YANBU.

PicaK · 21/06/2013 15:53

yanbu

LastTangoInDevonshire · 21/06/2013 15:53

Well, I would have left mine. Each unto his own and all that.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 21/06/2013 15:54

It's entirely up to you. We left a three week old with my parents to go to a NY Eve party, but I accept that would not be everyone's choice!

AmberSocks · 21/06/2013 15:55

i think 7 weeks old is too young to be left.

mumbaisapphire · 21/06/2013 15:56

You have to be comfortable with your decision. I have a 6 week old and am already fantasizing about a night out which tells me I'm ready. If you don't feel ready then don't go. See how you feel when the next one comes along, because there will be another opportunity.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 21/06/2013 15:56

What, even with the baby's father????

LemonPeculiarJones · 21/06/2013 15:56

YANBU.

She is being unreasonable in the extreme, however.

Telling a breast-feeding mother of a 7 week old to 'man up' is incredibly stupid. The phrase alone reflects what an imposed idea this is.

She just wants your actions to justify what she felt and did with her babies. Don't be controlled and manipulated by her opinion. Simply ignore it.

GlitterFingers · 21/06/2013 15:57

If you don't want to leave her don't. I wouldn't and if I did I would of had to express every hour or so otherwise I would of leaked Smile

TantrumsAndBalloons · 21/06/2013 15:57

There's no right or wrong age to go out for the first time.

There is however, a right time for you

If that is 7 weeks, 7 months, whatever it is, that ok.

ChunkyPickle · 21/06/2013 15:59

I'd be fine leaving the baby with his dad for a few hours (although at 7 weeks, BF, I'd feel sorry for him - because I doubt it would be pleasant), but at that point, if I was having an evening away from baby I'm pretty sure I'd have spent it in the bath and then bed, not hanging out with work colleagues.

Do what you want. Anyone who has a go can take a long walk off a short pier

elQuintoConyo · 21/06/2013 15:59

Trust your instincts. It sounds like you don't want to go, so stuff what Mil says - man up? Really? What a cold bitch! sorry
And stuff the people having the night out, those with kids will understand.

Enjoy your 7-week old Thanks

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/06/2013 15:59

YANBU

And there is nothing that dictates you must attend every social event you're invited to anyway.

Why is your MIL involved in the discussion?

Lambzig · 21/06/2013 16:02

I wouldn't have wanted to with either of my babies. It isn't a case of manning up, it's just what you want right now. Nothing wrong with that.

DS is seven months old and I have had one night out when he was about four months. I prefer to be at home with him and DD right now.

Ashoething · 21/06/2013 16:02

I wouldnt have left mine at 7 weeks.However I do believe parents need nights off.My friend wont leave her 2 and half year old because he screams.I think that is precious to the extreme!

runningonwillpower · 21/06/2013 16:04

'Why is your MIL involved in the discussion?'

My very first thought.

I've been invited on a work night out and I don't want to go even though my DS is 26. Whether I go or not is no-one's business but my own.

Original poster
Drhamsterstortoise · 21/06/2013 16:05

Thanks for the replies.No, dp works away all week so it would be mil minding dd.I'm exhausted and would have to bring my pump.I need to stop worrying what mil thinks

OP posts:
bigkidsdidit · 21/06/2013 16:05

I wouldn't either, didn't leave him till 5 months ish and I didn't enjoy that at all. But it's entirely up to you. Why is your MIL involved Confused

As an aside I hate 'man up' - as if you have to become a man to be brave Hmm so I'd tell her to sod off for that alone!

mamapants · 21/06/2013 16:06

Do what you feel comfortable with.
I think I went out with my colleagues for a meal when my DS was about this age. But they came to the village where I live so that I was only down the road. They arranged to be there at 7 so I could come immediately after putting him down and he never woke before 11 then anyway different story now however so I knew he wouldn't wake.
It felt weird but it was nice to see everyone.

LadyInDisguise · 21/06/2013 16:07

Well I don't think I am particularly anxious and I have left my dcs very early on with DH, parents etc...

However, I wouldn't have left for a party in the evening wo being sure that my bfing dc wouldn't wake up and need me for a feed. And at 7 weeks, it's miles too early to be sure of that.

LemonPeculiarJones · 21/06/2013 16:08

Yes stop worrying about pleasing your MIL! You and your baby are waaaaaaay more important here!

Just smile firmly and say you won't be going this time. You don't even have to explain.

AmberSocks · 21/06/2013 16:09

hmm not sure really.I wouldnt of left mine at 7 weeks even with dh,not because i dont trust him,just because there is plenty of time for night out,7 weeks is such a short time,you are still bonding,they are still pretty much newborns.

MothershipG · 21/06/2013 16:09

I need to stop worrying what mil thinks

^This!!!

No way would I have enjoyed or wanted to go out when either of mine were that age, or for ages afterwards. But why does your MIL care anyway? What's it to her? Confused

runes · 21/06/2013 16:09

Would your mil by any chance be first in the queue to volunteer her babysitting services? Do not leave your baby unless you want to. 'Man up' what utter balls.