To have a joint party for a 4 & 6 year old

[lecce]

Ds1's birthday was in March, just after we had moved house. We could not face the hassle of organising a party, and I was worried that no one would attend as we didn't know people, so he didn't get a party. He was fine about it, btw.

Ds2's fourth birthday is next month and I thought it would be a nice idea to allow ds1 to invite some friends as well. However, I am now worried that the ages of the children involved are not compatible and it will be a disaster. Ds1's friends will be 3-5, and ds1's will be aged up to 7. Will 3 year olds and 7 year olds be ok in the same party?

I am also worried about what to write on the invitations for ds1's friends. I don't want to say it's a birthday party for a 4yo they've never met, but I also can't hide the fact. I want to make clear that they are not obliged to buy any present whatsoever, but not sure what to put that won't sound waffly and/or rude.

The party is in a leisure centre with organised activities, mainly focussing around a bubble disco, if that makes a difference.

any comments would be great.

I'd ask the birthday child how they feel tbh. I don't think that the ages should be a massive problem but she might. I have no idea how you approach the present thing either. It's a bit weird for one child to get presents and not the other, could be confusing. Probably the best thing would be to have a word with each parent and explain in person. Whatever you write is open to misinterpretation

I don't think it's a problem at all. My DC are (almost) 2 years apart in age and they always go to each other's parties and have (sometimes) invited a friend. The party is perfectly fine for DS1 and his friends to enjoy (even if they might not like it as their own party bet they will still have fun!) and they can keep each other amused anyway.

Re DS1's friends - I would just speak to their parents and say that although it's DS2's party you wanted to invite some of DS1's friends so he had someone to play with - that way you are kind of emphasising that their main role is to "play with DS1" rather than "attend DS2 party".

My children are two years apart and their birthdays within a few days of each other. When they were 3 and 5 and 4 and 6 we had a shared party for them. It was fine, if rather exhausting (in a community hall, we provided the 'entertainment'). No real problem with the range of ages, we just split them once into a younger group for pass the parcel, and the older group doing something else. Guests just brought a present for the child that was their friend.

I think just be clear on the invite that only 4yo's guests buy presents - people will understand your intentions.

I often do joint parties for my 2DDs with a 4yr age gap. Never had any problems. You could put on older invites something like 'please be DSs guest to DDs birthday party, no presents required'

I did this last year for the same ages in a soft play that did food and suitable for both ages, they had a lovely time. They both wanted seperate parties this year though but only because wanted to go to different places.

It's fine. We went to a party recently for a 5 year old and a 9 year old! both invited some kids and both got gifts. Not weird. Practical.

Last year I organised and ran alone helped out with my niece's 5th birthday party. There was a four year old, two five year olds (including the birthday girl), three six year olds, two seven year olds, an eight year old and a nine year old. All of these apart from the five year olds were boys, incidentally. It was absolutely fine, we did pass the parcel, musical statues, limbo and mostly lots of running around and chucking themselves down my inflatable slide.

Ages won't be a problem as you can let the organisers know and they can tailor the activities accordingly.

I did a joint party for ds' 3rd and dd's 5th. The age of invitees ranged from 1-13 with the bulk between 2-7.

We did a joint party for age four and seven. All fine. If the invitation comes from each child to their friends rather than being signed from both, then people won't feel they should buy gifts for both. Ds' friends bought him gifts, dd's bought her gifts, all good.