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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not limiting dd's holiday experience by not putting her in the creche?! (Trivial and waffly and I think I answered my own qn!!)

29 replies

dilanddan · 21/06/2013 13:00

We're going away for a few nights. Monday-wednesday. And have a few activities planned as next week is the only week dp can get as holiday before dd's 1st birthday.

On the monday, we'll arrive late afternoon, so we thought dd would be too tired to do much, so we'll check in, have some chill time, go for dinner and have some family time in the evening.

On tuesday we planned a walk and some swimming. Also having lunch and dinner. But mainly having a bit of a rest and relax because...

Wednesday we're going to the Sea-Life Centre in Birmingham. Which hopefully dd will love!

But I've had a few emails come through from where we're staying about the creche and the activities they do. Mentioned to dh's parents that if we ever went again for a longer stay, we'd perhaps book her in for a slot, but for this visit, we want to keep her with us (plus she's not been away from us before! bad clingy mum)

Apparently we're inhibiting dd's holiday experience by not letting her enjoy all the opportunities there. She's 11 mths ffs, I think she'd rather be having a splash in the pool or popping to the park with us!! AIBU to think they're being mad? or AIBU to have not put my dd into nursery this last year for her to gain her independence from me a bit?? (I'm a SAHM and we pop to friends who have babies and baby groups sometimes; but mostly do our own thing together. I just want to enjoy her as much as I can!!)

OP posts:
ArabellaBeaumaris · 21/06/2013 13:41

They are barking mad.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 21/06/2013 13:44

Definitely bonkers.

scaevola · 21/06/2013 13:47

Yes, odd.

Sometimes you might want a few hours off to behave like adults or to do things DC are uninterested in. But that's hardly compulsory.

gallicgirl · 21/06/2013 13:47

At that age there's no way I'd leave her in a creche, and my DD was in full time nursery at 12 months. In fact, even now at 2.5 I'd hesitate leaving her somewhere as I'd worry about crb checks, staff quality etc.

GrimmaTheNome · 21/06/2013 13:48

I'm sure she would much rather be having holiday experiences with you. Creches are there for parents' sanity (if the kid will stay in it, unlike mine!). When she's old enough for a kids club rather than a crèche, she may like them for some of the time. When she's more like 11 years she may prefer them all the time!

(why did crèche get a grave accent automatically applied when I typed it but Creche with a capital doesn't?)

ParadiseChick · 21/06/2013 13:49

So your in-laws said all that did they?

VinegarDrinker · 21/06/2013 13:51

Creches are for the benefit of parents, not babies.

BlackeyedSusan · 21/06/2013 13:52

eh? aa ratio of 2 adults to one child, doing lots of activities..

or a 2 childrren to one strange adult...

no contest. daft pils.

Original poster
dilanddan · 21/06/2013 14:00

I thought I wasn't going insane haha. I just keep hearing that I should be starting to think about dropping her off at nursery for a morning (or two) a week and have started to get quite worried that she might not be getting the interaction she needs. (she's my first, if you couldn't tell haha!)

I need to start switching off from them! Thank you MN!

OP posts:
SpooMoo · 21/06/2013 14:14

Creche is for parents' benefit definitely!

mumofweeboys · 21/06/2013 14:15

Holiday chreche - madness. However its not a bad idea popping a into nursery for short period each week if you are going back to work. I had both mine in gym chreche for an hour three mornings a week from 6 months and it really helped them adapt to daycare when I went back to work.

Eyesunderarock · 21/06/2013 14:19

11 months?
You enjoy her as much as you can, and the fact you enjoy her company is wonderful.
Creches are definitely to benefit parents.
Time to thing about giving her taster sessions a couple of weeks before she has to go to nursery, and that's a while yet.

JADS · 21/06/2013 14:20

YANBU

Creche is for the parents benefit not the kids. If she was older and it was a kids club type thing then maybe.

Took my DS to the Birm sealife centre at that age and he loved it. Hope your DD does too!

Eyesunderarock · 21/06/2013 14:21

'I need to start switching off from them!'


This!

PicaK · 21/06/2013 16:13

Suggest you give your daft PILs Oliver James' book "How not to f* them up" to read.

nohalfmeasures · 21/06/2013 16:21

Holidays are for family time. Last holiday we had, the staff at the hotel couldn't understand why we had opted not to use the kids club. We all see little enough of each other during the year!!

AmberSocks · 21/06/2013 16:21

Im always really suprised how much people seem to listen to their in laws on here,and also how they would ven say that?my in laws would never comment on anything like that!?its none of their business?

Squitten · 21/06/2013 16:23

That's bonkers. She's a baby FFS - she has "experiences" looking at the bloody floor!

Don't listen to them OP

trackies · 21/06/2013 16:25

PicaK i've got that book !

OP, YANBU. Creche is for parents benefit. She is only 11 months. I remember when i told her friend i was taking DD out of nursery as she really was not settling. She was 12 months and she said "but what about her social skills?"............eh ?

Anyway, your baby will have a lovely time with you.

CMOTDibbler · 21/06/2013 16:30

They are barking.

But do yourself a favour, and don't go to Birmingham Sealife - its tiny compared to the other Sealife places, and you can't even eat in there. For the price, go to West Midlands Safari park if you are that side

SquinkiesRule · 21/06/2013 16:41

Crazy, you are going on holiday and they think you should leave you child in with their babysitters. When I'm on a family holiday I like to be with my family. If I wanted alone time I'd leave them with family or a known babysitter, no way my kids would settle at age 11 months with a total stranger, they needed time to settle with me there first.

BlueberryHill · 21/06/2013 16:55

I wasn't sure if the mnths wasn't a typo and you meant 11 years, then she may be missing out on some great activities at a kids club on holiday. But 11 months? There is a huge difference between a nursery that she can learn to settle into over time and play with other children and a holiday crèche. I wouldn't leave my babies in that situation, they need to get used to people first.

Aniseeda · 21/06/2013 17:05

Are the in-laws going with you and fancy a bit of adult only time while you there?

If not it's none of their business!

Creches for such tiny ones are for parent's benefit and I used one on holiday when my boys were 3 and 1 - it was attached to the pool area and you could only drop them off for an hour or two iirrc - we used to drop them off then go get a coffee and literally sit and read until it was time to collect them - it was heaven!! They seemed to have a nice time and certainly didn't object to being left but I am under no illusions that it enhanced their holiday in any way other than the fact that their parents were rather more chilled and ready to do fun things with them for the rest of the day!

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 21/06/2013 17:11

Crech/nursery/whatever is entirely for the parents benefit when the baby is 11 months.

They are barking - feel free to remind yourself of this anytime they are making you feel inadequate.

Enjoy being a SAHM with a small child, it lasts 5 minutes then they are off into the world & all that entails. Going to friends, the odd group, the shops is all the 'socialising' she needs for goodness sake!

Do it if you want to do it - not because of any barking 'advice'.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 17:14

your dd is a not yet 1 a baby limiting her holiday experience they are mental Grin I have used these creches in the past but tbh I dont think the DDs cared or not enjoy your break with your family

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