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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I turned into a prude?

35 replies

Mouseyinmyhousey · 21/06/2013 00:38

Quite often I find myself cringing at conversations. At work, or even amongst the mums at school, where the conversation leads onto which mummy porn book they're reading, whether or not they shave or wax their fanjo, how many times a week they're having sex and how amazingly horny they are, or what they like to get up to.

I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm turning into my mother as at times I just find myself thinking, I really did not need or want to know that.

I've no problem with intimacy at all in relationships, I'm not 'shy', and I've got no problem chatting to a close friend about that sort of stuff and having a good laugh.
But when I don't know people that well I get a serious case of tmi and sometimes even wonder if people feel they've got something to prove. But I've absolutely no desire to know that a work colleague has a bald fanjo, and has sex every night. Or that the mum from school likes to be spanked.

Aibu?

OP posts:
BOF · 21/06/2013 00:41

No, YANBU.

Pancakeflipper · 21/06/2013 00:41

Our school gates and my office ain't as exciting as yours.

Original poster
Mouseyinmyhousey · 21/06/2013 00:47

To be fair, the conversation was on a mum's lunch out when someone pulled out their copy of some crappy book.

The conversations at work seem to happen on Friday afternoons when everyone in the office gets a bit silly and usually start off quite normally and escalate.

OP posts:
BOF · 21/06/2013 00:53

It's all a bit cringey.

HooverFairy · 21/06/2013 00:59

YANBU, I think most of the time it's done for effect and most of it is made up. Makes me cringe too.

lessonsintightropes · 21/06/2013 00:59

YANBU. I don't talk to my closest girlfriends about that stuff - it'd be just weird as they know and are close to my husband and vice versa. Some things are better kept private!

mercury7 · 21/06/2013 01:09

I dont think it's prudishness, more that oversharing is a bit vulgar

HollyBerryBush · 21/06/2013 07:45

Are you sitting in my office? we had this discussion 2 days ago.

The point was put up that the wealthier you are the more private you are, the further down the socio economic scale you are and come from an open-front-door mentality the more you were likely to overshare personal things. I'm still thinking about that one.

LadyRabbit · 21/06/2013 07:56

No YANBU. You clearly have manners and understand discretion. As with all things - but especially intimate details - those who are the most garrulous are generally the least interesting. Also, why do other people presume that what they do with their lady garden is so interesting to everybody else that they describe its landscaping features to anybody who'll care to listen?!

flatpackhamster · 21/06/2013 08:48

HollyBerryBush

The point was put up that the wealthier you are the more private you are, the further down the socio economic scale you are and come from an open-front-door mentality the more you were likely to overshare personal things. I'm still thinking about that one.

Sounds ridiculous to me, since I know people at both ends of the scale and I don't think you can generalise. I think it's down to the individual.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 21/06/2013 08:51

Christ, I'm not privy to any such conversations. Even my best friend of 35 years and I don't discuss out fanjo maintenance. Why the hell would we - as subject matter, it's dead boring, if you're over the age of 19. Confused

Me thinks the ladies doth protest too much, etc, etc...

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 09:27

Yanbu I hate conversations like that I was at a party plan party thingy dds friends mums anyway her elderly neighbour was there ( In her 70s) she was telling me how much she was enjoying 50 shades I wanted to curl up into a ball Grin I am quite prudish I dont care though some things are not for sharing , (unless it is on internet where nobody can see your blushes)

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 09:28

The point was put up that the wealthier you are the more private you are, the further down the socio economic scale you are and come from an open-front-door mentality the more you were likely to overshare personal things. I'm still thinking about that one.

EH what Confused

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 21/06/2013 09:28

and how amazingly horny they are, or what they like to get up to.

Really?!

thebody · 21/06/2013 09:34

The wealthier you are??? How about Katie price then or numerous z listers who plaster their sex lives all over the papers. They are rich.

My school runs are mightily boring then as we talk weather and school politics and at work, which is in a school, we talk shop.

Some people are just daft and some aren't.

Nowt to do with money or class don't cha know.

ilovexmastime · 21/06/2013 09:36

I talk about these things with my friends, and I don't do it for effect (what sort of effect?!) or make it up (why on earth would I?!).

I don't see the problem, we talk about everything and anything and this is just one more thing to talk about.

I like sharing with my friends and I guess they like sharing with me, otherwise we wouldn't be friends.

livinginwonderland · 21/06/2013 09:55

I don't share anything about my sex life with anyone except DP because I wouldn't want him to discuss it with his friends. Anything else is fine with close friends, but that's always been something that's off-limits for me - it's just a matter of respect for me and my relationship with DP.

Buzzardbird · 21/06/2013 09:58

Not to do with money...more to do with class.

Buzzardbird · 21/06/2013 09:59

And 'mommy porn' has to be the most condesending expression I have heard in a while...was mentioned on BBC news yesterday and really irked me. Sounds like porn involving fluffy kittens and knitting needles (ouch!)

Silverfoxballs · 21/06/2013 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raisah · 21/06/2013 10:03

People have no shame anymore (I sound like my mum!) and have no concept of boundaries and acceptable behaviour. It's the celeb culture gone mad, all this oversharing and tell all stories in trashy mags. I am not saying we should start adopting victorian stiff upper lip mentality but I think.people need to be more self aware than they actually are.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 10:04

Mommy porn has cake in it and craft suppliesGrin that is what I always think of when i hear it

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 10:05

raisah thats what I think people don't have filters anymore have they broken or something

bleedingheart · 21/06/2013 10:08

Those who talk about it most do it least.

It's all a bit try hard isn't it?

YANBP (You are not being prudish)

I don't think it's a social class/wealth issue but it is one of decorum. (Need a hoity toity smiley).

PoppyAmex · 21/06/2013 10:10

"The point was put up that the wealthier you are the more private you are, the further down the socio economic scale you are and come from an open-front-door mentality the more you were likely to overshare personal things."

I'm laughing at this. I know very many titled people and they would make a call girl blush.

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