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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Venue hosting a party night on same day as our Wedding!

37 replies

PickledRupert · 20/06/2013 23:38

Hi,

Me and my DP are getting married in between Christmas & New Year2013. Our venue has two function rooms, and before we booked the venue we made sure that they only allow one wedding per day.

Today we have found out that our venue is hosting a 'post Christmas party' with live entertainment on the night of our wedding, in the larger function room, which fits up to 350 people. We are only having about 100 guests and I'm worried that the extra people and noise will dearf our evening do, and that the kitchen will be busy with this extra party. Also, the function rooms share bathrooms, so our guests would have to walk past the party to use the loos, and there is obviously going to be more people waiting to use the facilities.

The venue hasn't notified us of this party at all, we found out by chance whilst looking at their Christmas offers online. The wedding planner even said when we were booking that we had chosen a nice date as the venue would be quite due to it being in between their Christmas and New Year celebrations.

To me it feels like this is worse than having another wedding party on at the same time as there is the potential for the party to be much bigger than an average wedding reception. I don't know how to bring up my dissappointment to the venue. Would it be acceptable to ask for any kind of discount, as we were led to believe that the second function room wouldn't be in use. I have checked the paperwork and can't see anything about exclusivity on our contract!? Any ideas what we should do?

OP posts:

Original poster

PickledRupert · 20/06/2013 23:39

That should say, I'm worried the other party will dwarf ours - smart phone

OP posts:

Kormachameleon · 20/06/2013 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocacolaMum · 20/06/2013 23:52

its between Christmas and new year and they have 2 function rooms, did you not think they might accept another booking? You either need to suck it up or book elsewhere I think

apostropheuse · 20/06/2013 23:53

YABU To expect the venue to not hire out their other function room because of your wedding. Why would they do that?

They told you there wasn't another wedding on the same day as yours because there wasn't. They've not lied to you, so why would they give you a discount?

I really don't understand what your problem is.

Ziggyzoom · 20/06/2013 23:54

If they said that they would only allow one wedding per day, then they have not breached this promise.

Look on the bright side, this was the case for my sister's wedding and when her evening entertainment wound down, we all crashed the other party. It was some sort of corporate do and we rather stood out in our bridesmaid dresses!

MidniteScribbler · 20/06/2013 23:56

If you wanted exclusive use of the venue, you should have booked both function rooms out.

VBisme · 20/06/2013 23:56

YANBU not only will your guests be sharing facilities but you can guarantee that you'll have people crashing your wedding.

Is it too late to look for a smaller wedding venue?

Original poster

PickledRupert · 21/06/2013 00:02

To be honest, we didn't think they would do another booking because we had asked if they accept two wedding and they said no. They said it was a quiet week for the venue.

I think we are just a bit miffed because its an event which the venue themselves are hosting, so they must have known about it well before we booked a few months ago. If we hasn't have found about it ourselves, would they even have told us, or would they have left it until we turned up on the day to find a few hundred more people there?

OP posts:

Original poster

PickledRupert · 21/06/2013 00:08

Thanks VB, but we do really like the venue so even though this situation not what we were expecting, I think we will have to try and make the most if it as Ziggy has suggested.

Scribbler, the option of booking both rooms was never suggested to us, and I'm sure that this event is something they would have planned quite far in advance so I just find it discourteous that it wasnt mentioned when we asked about double bookings

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WhiteBirdBlueSky · 21/06/2013 00:28

If you've asked about other functions, and they've specifically said that it would be a quiet week I would be very unhappy. Will it definitely go ahead? Seems an odd time for a do. People will be recovering after christmas and planning for new year.

YANBU

cerealqueen · 21/06/2013 00:29

Whilst you can't expect exclusivity, I think you have been misled a bit, better to say the other function may be hired out, even if its not for a wedding.

zipzap · 21/06/2013 00:31

I think it is disingenuous of them at the least to tell you that they only accept one wedding booking at a time but not to point out that they accept other bookings (or book themselves a party moneyspinner).

Yes, in hindsight it is easy to see that they have been quite cunning with their words and led you to assume that you would be the only event at the venue, whilst actually leaving themselves the option of hosting another event on the same day without actually being in breach of their arrangement with you. But if they are saying those things about it being quiet and only 1 wedding at a time, that is what they are hoping you will think and book thinking you are getting exclusivity if that is something that is important to you (which it sounds like it was).

You don't have anything to lose by going back to the venue and saying that you were very upset to have discovered that they are having a party on at the same time as your wedding and that you feel that you have been mis-led although you appreciate that technically as they stated wedding rather than any other party they are not in breach of their terms but that you were given a very strong indication that there wouldn't be any other event there which was one of the things that swayed your mind when booking. So it is doubly galling to discover that not only do they have another event, it is their own and there is a very good chance that they knew when you booked that they were planning to have the other event that same day.

I would then go on to ask about the practical arrangements of how do they do things like make sure that the noise from the other party can't be heard at your party (or vice versa), that guests can't get into the wrong event, security for your event (things like if I'm at a wedding I'm less likely to worry about leaving my handbag at the table as everybody there is friends or family. No way would I leave it if I was at a 'buy a ticket' function - suddenly all your guests are going to have to act as if they are at a buy a ticket function for things like this. And if you've got a table for wedding presents that people bring - who's going to make sure that the contents remain safe and don't get pinched by people from the other event? And if you're having any free drink/bar, how do you ensure that people from the other event don't get in to your event to take advantage of free drinks?). And also as you say, how is it likely to impact on things like food service, use of the loos and cloakrooms.

Let them do the running to keep you. The worst they can say is tough. get on with it. But they might either agree to let you change venue (I assume you don't want to change date) and release you without losing your deposit or if you do want to stay, then you might get a decent discount out of it, plus plenty of assurances and information on how they make sure that the two events stay separate and don't impinge on each other.

I think in some ways if it was another wedding it wouldn't be quite so bad - or maybe somebody's 50th birthday or a big anniversary party etc. as then their guests would want to be at the right party. However, if you have something that people have bought tickets to then there is a good chance that there will be just a few that want to have fun and party and don't care if that is in the party they have paid for or (especially if they are drunk) gatecrashing a wedding in the other room sounds a funny idea and they won't care if they spoil your event or not so long as they are having fun IYSWIM...

So although the venue technically haven't done anything wrong, the fact that they 'forgot' to mention it to you shows they probably knew that you would be less than thrilled about it. Definitely worth making them squirm a fair amount!

Oh and congratulations on getting married by the way - hope you end up having a great day and fab life thereafter!

OhDearNigel · 21/06/2013 00:36

There were 3 other functions going on at the venue where we had our evening do, including another wedding in the room downstairs - about 600 people in total including ours. I never even noticed.

Original poster

PickledRupert · 21/06/2013 00:43

Thanks ZipZap, we will definitely speak to the venue and you've given us a lot if pointers to ask about that we hadn't even thought of.

OP posts:

halcyondays · 21/06/2013 11:35

It wouldn't have bothered me, but it does sound as if they've misled you a bit.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 11:39

I have been at weddings where that was something else on in another room it is fine I am not sure what your issue is they are a venue with two rooms did you expect your wedding to be exclusive the venue wont make much money if they did that everytime they had a wedding in, Enjoy your wedding and dont worry about it

CloudsAndTrees · 21/06/2013 11:46

It sounds like they have covered themselves well in what they have said to you, so I don't think you are going to be able to do much to change it.

But if this is an expensive venue where you are paying for quality Of service as well as just the use of a room, then you should be able to expect them to ensure that your wedding is not disturbed by the party.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 11:48

, then you should be able to expect them to ensure that your wedding is not disturbed by the party.

yes they will

SoupDragon · 21/06/2013 11:51

Did you really think they would only hire out the small room and leave the large one completely empty? It's obvious that both venues might be in use - they specifically said they only book one wedding at a time.

Oblomov · 21/06/2013 11:52

I think this is a real shame, because it has left a very slightly sour taste in your mouth. They didn't exactly , say, but then they didn't deny. It's as if you have been ever so slightly conned.

Hope you can sort it out.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 11:53

I dont think they have been conned they did say they didnt take any other weddings it isnt a wedding if they are using a small room and then they had the chance to fill a bigger room with a party then why not,

Jestrin · 21/06/2013 11:57

I think you are being naive to think their other larger function room would not get booked up.

I would find out what kind of party the other one is going to be. Live music? Disco? If you are worried, then rebook elsewhere.

mrsjay · 21/06/2013 11:59

In the nicest possible way (honest) you are being really bridezilla about this you dont want your day overshadowed by anything do you, your guests wont care there is a party in the building

SoupDragon · 21/06/2013 11:59

The venue didn't necessarily know about the event when you booked. They may have looked their bookings with a view to filling empty spaces.

GuffSmuggler · 21/06/2013 12:00

Don't worry NO ONE will want to go to a 'post Christmas party' in between Christmas and new year, sounds like the worst idea ever. They will have to cancel due to lack of interest!

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