Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think if our Mums and Toddler group want to buy toys

18 replies

Kirk1 · 20/06/2013 15:41

We should be able to?

About 2 years ago, our village had a new complex opened to replace the old village hall. It has a large hall, a couple of community rooms, some meeting rooms, a small shop and various other facilities.

There is also a small room which is the children's centre for the village. This is run by the council so although its within the centre, it's not run by the same people. After its opening I went around bothering people to see where our old Mums and Toddler group got to. DS2 was born shortly before the centre was opened, but a large gap between him and DD and DS1. Long story short I and another new mum I met decided to start it up again and for various reasons we ended up in the children's centre.

We were given the money left over from the old group (shut down, the old leaders children are all much older now!) and we wanted to buy some toys for our group to use in the fenced-off outside area. The trouble is, we are being told we can't. First they said "health and safety" then it was "insurance doesn't cover" (bullshit, I asked to see the insurance policy. It does. ). Now apparently it is because OFSTEAD rules don't allow groups using the centre to bring their own equipment. My gut says bullshit on this too.

DH suggests I should write to them and ask, but my friend helping to run the group is out of fight and wants to leave it, and the lovely lady who is there to run the children's centre on behalf of the council obviously really wants me to drop it.

In the interests of full disclosure, DH is her employer so I have the potential to lean on her if I wanted to. So, well done if you've stuck it this far, and AIBU to fight this, because I feel like its bullying and I can't keep my mouth shut on bullies, or should I leave it and just accept that if we want to use this room the council jobs worths have the final say?

OP posts:

Pancakeflipper · 20/06/2013 15:47

Who is 'they?'

The council? If so ask them to come and see and listen to your ideas.

I cannot think of any good reason why you cannot buy equipment. When we ran our local toddler group we often replaced knackered/broken equipment. And used to get given stuff from parents whose kids had outgrown it.

But councils a law unto their own.

usualsuspect · 20/06/2013 15:47

I think you suggesting your DH leans on the lady working for the council is not on tbh.

Why don't you just use the council children's group?

Ragwort · 20/06/2013 15:50

I think this puts both your DH and his employee in a very difficult position if you get over involved.

Who exactly is saying that you 'cannot' have any toys? Can you ask to see a copy of the OFSTED report where this is stated?

Is the fenced off area that the the Mums and Toddler group want to use also used by the childrens' centre? Is it something to do with knowing how owns and looks after the equipment?

usualsuspect · 20/06/2013 15:55

Where will the equipment be stored,Is there somewhere you can keep and maintain it away from the children's centres own equipment?

cakebar · 20/06/2013 16:14

I think things are being confused by you running a toddler group in the children's centre. This has made it part of the children's centre offering and in exchange for their support you need to follow their rules.

You either need to book one of the community centre's other rooms and have your own toys and your own storage and own rules or you carry on being part of the children's centre and follow theirs.

cakebar · 20/06/2013 16:16

BTW it is quite easy to get small grants to buy toys for children's groups. Find your local voluntary services or local council/Councillor for sources of grants.

Pancakeflipper · 20/06/2013 16:57

Ahhh I missed the very vital bit about a children's centre. I thought you were totally separate. Can you speak to those who run the centre face to face?

decaffwithcream · 20/06/2013 17:08

"... and the lovely lady who is there to run the children's centre on behalf of the council obviously really wants me to drop it. In the interests of full disclosure, DH is her employer so I have the potential to lean on her if I wanted to." So, well done if you've stuck it this far, and AIBU to fight this, because I feel like its bullying and I can't keep my mouth shut on bullies"

Do you not think it would be another abuse of power though if you used the fact that your husband is her employer to "lean" on her to get her to fight for what you want when she has decided she does not want to do that anymore?

JedwardScissorhands · 20/06/2013 17:16

YABU. For whatever reason, you cannot store your toys at the centre. So either accept that, and just use whatever is there, or find another venue.

Clearly the woman at the centre isn't on mumsnet, or she would just have told you that no is a complete sentence when you demanded to see their insurance policy and kept pushing the issue.

Also, the fact you see it as remotely relevant to mention the employment relationship says an awful lot about how reasonable you are.

NotSoNervous · 20/06/2013 17:19

I wouldn't drop it. 1 because I'm stubborn and 2 I know how much of a sanity saver these groups can be. Keep going and good luck

mumofweeboys · 20/06/2013 17:24

We have toddler group in our local school hall. Lady who runs it pays for our own insurance out of groups fees. We store our toys in a cupboard.

mumofweeboys · 20/06/2013 17:26

Is there no toddler group run by the childrens centre

CloudsAndTrees · 20/06/2013 17:49

You are saying you could lean on her if you wanted to and at the same time calling her a bully?

Find another venue if you are that disparate to have outdoor toys.

Burmillababe · 20/06/2013 18:00

Please don't get your DH to (ab)use the employer/employee situation - that is terribly unprofessional!

DontmindifIdo · 20/06/2013 18:02

You need a different venue. Contact any local churches and see if they would be happy for you to run the toddler group in their hall.

hamilton75 · 20/06/2013 18:02

You need to find out who is the landowner is. If it is the Council then you can't just store equipment there without written permission either by way of a lease or licence. The children's centre will already have one in place if they run it on behalf of the council.

There are all sorts of landlord/tenant/licensee issues that will need to be signed off on and your husband should be aware of this if he works for the council. Get in touch with the councils legal department, you need the organ grinder.

ILoveDolly · 20/06/2013 18:07

Most toddler groups have their own special insurance which covers accidents etc whilst using own equptmnt, on top of usual liability insurance of the venue. Surely there are two issues to resolve. If you can't have toys due to storage issues, then thats pretty final, but if the issue is a health and safety one then having your own insurance policy should cover it.
As far as I understand (I run a toddler group! So I have investigated this) if you are a group that offers play etc for children WITH carers present on a limited basis -like once a week- you are not within the perview of OfSted anyway.
If all your problems are related to thus being a children's centre building I would look for a hirable venue such as a church hall, simpler! We store our toys in a space at our venue for a small fee.

TempusFuckit · 20/06/2013 18:44

YANBU to push the issue, but as others have picked up on, using your DH would be far more bullying than they are. In fact they're not really being bullies, just jobsworths.

What does the children's centre offer? Although unless they do the same group at the same time, it's a bit irrelevant.

Flip