To elope

[mumaa]

DP and I dont want a big wedding or a fuss, having just a small wedding with certain people there isnt an option as would offend others. So we plan to elope, we have been open with our family and friends that these are our plans, naturally this has received mixed reactions. Given it is supposed to be 'our' day and this is what we want this is what we will do. Anyone had any experience of this or ideas how to announce to family afterward?

You are not being at all unreasonable. I planned a wedding, which I wanted and loved, and considered eloping every week or so! People may be upset because it's not what they expected, but it is your day so do what you want!

I sort of eloped, we hated the idea of a big wedding, bickering family members would have just been a nightmare and I knew I just wouldn't enjoy the day. So we buggered off to Vegas, with honeymoon in San Fran. We chose Vegas because everywhere else seemed to expect you to do the whole white wedding stuff even though we were abroad and it was just the two of us! .... But we told friends and family, we were upfront, they could watch it live online.

I don't think my mother in law was too pleased but I really think sod them - it was my wedding and I did it my way. Rather than spending a brick of money on something that I knew I would have hated.

Just do what you want to do but be upfront and tell people what you are doing - they will get over it (and if not well sod them!)

Oh do it ! We did not even tell anyone just announced it afterwards. Us a couple of witnesses champagne and a steak at wetherspoons and I would not change it for the world. It is your day and your love and if you do not want a big wedding then do it and sod the reaction. Congrats

YANBU, I did it

We told people we were going to get married but didn't want a "wedding", booked a holiday and told people we would be getting married on holiday. We organised a party for family and friends for a few weeks after we got back.

Our wedding was fantastic and amazing, and relaxing too! The party was great too but was waay more stressful to organise with all the family politics/hotels to organise etc. that goes with these things. We enjoyed it but were really glad it was not part of our wedding day.

If this is what you want to to then go for it. A few family members were annoyed about our choices but we just smiled and did what we wanted.

Go for it!

Another Vegas bride here rowtunda, cannot recommend it highly enough!

Thanks, its great to hear from people who have actually eloped

We would love to do Vegas, though with DD in tow it might not be the best idea ha We just want it to be chilled, hassle and drama free and about us getting married.

A lot of people have suggested we have a big party when we come back but to me, that would just be like organising a wedding - dealing with the family politics, bickering, etc as SveltlanaKirilenko experienced.

Thanks also Reiltin - nice to hear from someone who hasn't done it that way but doesn't think its 'weird' a lot of people i know who have had 'traditional' weddings think i am derranged to not want one

Do it mumaa! DH & I wanted to elope but caved in to family MIL pressure & have always wished we had stuck to our plans. The pre & post wedding family rows were awful & although the day itself was great, I think it was a waste of money tbh.
Have the day you want.
Just send a letter out afterwards with a photo of the event to let everyone know .
Whatever you decide - Congratulations & enjoy your day :-)

I wish I had eloped! Do it!

I always say how would you feel if your dd did this? I know my mum would be sad to miss my wedding and I'd be sad if my dd did this. If you're fine with it then that's cool but just try and see it from that point of view first. Also is your dad around? Some dads love the walk down the aisle. Don't meant toI be a grump, it's just you can't do it again. Have fun planning

Btw I only had parents and siblings ad offended lots of ppl but my sis had 160 ppl and still offended ppl- you can't win!

Thanks, this is something I have thought about a fair bit since DD has arrived. I dont think it would worry me if it was what she wanted, but then, thats easy for me to say as she would be doing the same as we plan to. I think its difficult for people to get their heads around when it is the opposite of what they would do. Some people seem to be taking the idea of it as a direct insult, which I could understand if we had some people there and left others out but we are purposefully going to have just the 3 of us there as to avoid this, or, er, upset everyone! ha like you say though, you can't win...

My mum seems quite relieved that we plan to elope, my parents have been divorced for quite some time and i dont think the thought of spending the day in the company of my dad, his wife and their kids really appeals. My dad did say to me many moons ago that if i were to ever get married i should elope, however, that was a hypothetical chat before i met dp, i imagine he will feel differently when it happens. That said, myself and my brother were not at his wedding due to various goings on at the time following the divorce, i hope this means he would understand.

one way to find out i suppose....

Do it! We did. NO regrets.

YANBU. We eloped. Best decision ever. Wouldn't change a thing. Do it!

People are allowed to be sad but they don't have the right to impose what they want on you.

YANBU Go for it :)

DP and I have never wanted to get married- then some friends of ours eloped and we realised that it was possible to get married without everything we hate about weddings and our crazy families.

So we're not exactly going to get married, but we're no longer not going to get married IYSWIM.

Eloping is the best idea.