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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too much to expect from a 14 month old...?

28 replies

WhiteShakette · 20/06/2013 11:28

I take my 14 month old son to a weekly music/ singing action songs session in our village. (To be honest, I find it expensive for three quarters of an hour of singing 'Five Little Monkeys', but it's the only thing on in the village for his age group, and I don't drive, so feel rather isolated...) The children attending range from just turned one to those about to start school.

What I am wondering whether I am being unreasonable about is how much sitting down and 'obeying' one can legitimately expect from a toddler of his age. The woman who runs the sessions is rather strict, I think, and seems to get impatient with children who don't sit in a circle and 'behave' eg. wait to be invited to come into the middle and take a toy as part of a role-play song.

I think that might be fine for older pre-schoolers, who understand the concept of waiting for a reward etc. but it's starting to drive me slightly crazy to see the leader continually telling DS 'NO' and holding up her palm like a stop sign at him. He isn't disrupting the sessions or bothering other children at all, he's just toddling around outside the circle babbling to himself, or walking up to her and standing looking at her, because he's just started walking and doesn't want to sit on my lap for long chunks of time. I spend the whole time retrieving him, which feels a bit mad, as he isn't in danger or being disruptive. (I should add that other children also do this and are 'corrected' by the leader, but he's slightly anomalous in that he's probably the youngest mobile child there - many are a year or two years older, or are younger and not walking yet...)

Am I being unreasonable to think that a paid-for music session that takes children from babyhood onward should be a bit more realistic about young toddler behaviour? Or is she reasonable to expect a 14 month old to sit quietly when told...?

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 20/06/2013 13:36

MIL used to take DS to these kinds of groups - she sat and sang, he wandered off and played for quite a while - I think he was well past 18 months before he could really have been said to participate.

spotscotch · 20/06/2013 14:21

This is Music Train isn't it Smile

My ds is 22months and will not sit still for more than about ten seconds, he just wants to run around or dance. I do get a bit embarrassed and wonder if I should be a big more strict with him as all the other children seem to sit very nicely and I wonder what age he needs to start doing that. But the teacher is nice and will sometimes get him up on her knee to sing, and I do try and make sure that he doesn't do anything that is actually disruptive to the class. He is just having a great time!

I think the teacher is expecting waaaaay to much from a 14 month old, maybe find another class?

spotscotch · 20/06/2013 14:24

Or maybe not as have just realised music train is not a national thing. Sounds very similar - an extortionate amount of money for 45 mins of singing!

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