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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, you can't have missed us that much?

30 replies

elemis · 19/06/2013 22:58

Dh been away for nearly 3 weeks, got back Monday night, saw ds for about an hour
Worked late last night, so saw me for about 2 hours
Tonight, impromptu night on the piss

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 19/06/2013 23:02

Yanbu. He is seemingly something of a knob. That is all.

Cherriesarelovely · 19/06/2013 23:05

Well it would make me feel very pissed off.

LittleNoona · 19/06/2013 23:10

LTB Wink

Original poster
elemis · 19/06/2013 23:15

Is a night in the spare room a bit churlish?
I can't be bothered with the drunken ramblings

OP posts:
thebody · 19/06/2013 23:16

I would be hurt and pissed off.

mummydarkling · 19/06/2013 23:17

Yeah Flowers
What a drag for you

MsVestibule · 19/06/2013 23:19

I would be seriously pissed off. After 3 weeks away, there's no way I'd prioritise a night out over an evening with my DH. And I don't even like him very much at the moment.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/06/2013 23:23

Spare room definitely. I would be really hurt.

DH and I were discussing this the other day actually. He works with a bunch of people who stay up in London during the week and then go home at weekends to their family, they all live a long way north so daily commuting is impossible. He said it is amazing how many of them organise to go out drinking on the Friday night, because they are so used to being away from home that it doesn't feel like home any longer and they find the children incredibly hard work because they aren't used to spending time with them. So they get lashed on a Friday night and head home, hungover in time for lunch on Saturday - hardly a life, is it?
Colleagues who commute daily like he does are out of there like a shot on a Friday afternoon evening to get home and start their weekend with their family.

The more they are away, the more they want to be away. It is very sad.

reggiebean · 19/06/2013 23:30

YABU. Are you leaving again soon for a long time, or is there something preventing the three of you from spending time together at the weekend, or tomorrow night, or any other night?

He had a night out, so what? You just got back from a massive trip and are probably knackered, he just got off work, so probably wants a drink... Just get some rest and tell him you'd like some quality time together this weekend or something.

Original poster
elemis · 19/06/2013 23:34

He's been away, not me
I am away at the weekend as it happens. A rare occurrence
He's said over and over how much he missed us, but he's not racing home to be with us

OP posts:
BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 19/06/2013 23:37

reggie it's the DH who has been away for 3 weeks not the OP.

I'd be really pissed off too elemis, yeah spare room, and big chat tomorrow I think.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 19/06/2013 23:39

Xpost.

Hope he's looking after ds while you're away.

reggiebean · 19/06/2013 23:46

Ah, my apologies Elemis. Still, I think the same reasoning applies (mostly). I don't think it warrants a banishment out of the bedroom, or a big chat. Mention it to him that it hurt your feelings, and you'd appreciate a family night sometime soon to make up for it. I still don't see it being a big deal, sorry.

WorraLiberty · 19/06/2013 23:52

I don't think the OP was talking about banishing him from the bedroom...I mean how exactly could she do that? I think she means she wants to sleep in the spare room?

I think a long heart to heart would probably achieve more though OP

It sounds as things aren't right in your relationship.

YouTheCat · 19/06/2013 23:53

I think the spare room sounds good. He will reek of booze and keep you awake which will put you in a worse mood tomorrow.

Have a chat when he's sober.

reggiebean · 20/06/2013 00:20

Ugh, sorry again! I clearly need to go to bed! Blush Read it as OP making her husband sleep in the spare room, hence my response that I thought that was a bit harsh! (I was imagining locked bedroom door, pillow in the hall, etc.... Just really thought it was an over-reaction!)

Off to bed now so I can read properly again in the morning Confused

Original poster
elemis · 20/06/2013 09:40

Well he seems to be in a right bad mood today, nothing to do with the alcohol intake obviously
BBB- he is looking after ds at the weekend, so that's something

OP posts:
BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 20/06/2013 15:40

Good, leave him all the washing and hoovering as well!

Original poster
elemis · 20/06/2013 17:25

Well it would seem he's going out tonight as well
Ffs

OP posts:
BrokenBanana · 20/06/2013 17:28

Oh, what's his reasoning for going out this time? Is this a normal occurrence for him? Yanbu to be hurt, I would be to :(

Original poster
elemis · 20/06/2013 17:35

He is meeting a friend that's here visiting
Won't be late he says

He does go out a far bit, meets up with friends for one or 2 after work. Plenty of client functions
I don't usually mind too much
But this seems a bit off because he hasn't seen us for a while

OP posts:
BrokenBanana · 20/06/2013 17:45

This isn't a new thing, is it? How long have you been putting up with coming 2nd in his life?

Original poster
elemis · 20/06/2013 17:49

it's more a case of he does whatever he wants to do

I think I might have had a thread along these lines before!
Off to check

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 20/06/2013 18:02

It is so rude and arrogant to just assume that you will be at home to look after the children - what if you had plans?

He sounds like a selfish twit.

Coolasaurus · 20/06/2013 18:12

I would tell him that you are unable to provide childcare tonight whilst he does as he pleases again like a single man goes out, as you have stayed in for 3 weeks whilst he has been away. So therefore if he wants to go out tonight he will have to arrange a babysitter