AIBU to be cross that a fellow mum is holding a school place

[wheresthebloodydogmummy]

She has absolutely no intention of using it. Didn't turn up to the parents' evening last night. We're second on the list - so close enough that we'll almost definitely get a place - but are having to go through induction at another school, plus missing all the run-up at the one we'll probably be going to. DD (4, obv) is finding the whole thing a bit unsettling. It's such a major step for little ones. It makes me bloody cross.

Your 4 year old shouldn't be finding the whole thing unsettling. You shouldn't be sharing your concerns with her.

same happened at my daughter's school
a girl who took that spare place held by someone arrived on the 3rd day of school
she had to wait 3 weeks for her new uniform

needless to say - parents already paid for a set of new uniform in the school she attended for 2 days...

I am holding a place I wont use - we have been given notice to move and have started the process of moving to another rented house. The only house we could get suitable in the time frame (8 weeks) is out of area so it means a different school. We cannot apply for another school until we have a contract for the new house. I am terrified of whats going to happen when we move, we have 2 children in year 4 and 2 and one starting reception so i not throwing away the place we have even if it does mean a 45 minute bus ride to school.

floggingmolly I'm most certainly not "sharing my concerns" with my daughter. She's 4, and not stupid, and is hugely interested in which "big girls' school" she's going to. It's a major step and I want her to have a happy and confident transition without any unnecessary ballache. That's all!

I think if you know the other mum well and she's lovely, could you say to her "have you told school X that you won't be sending your DC to that school? We're still waiting to hear if we've got a place as I think we're second on the waiting list, it's a bit of a pity we're having to get everything ready for DD going to Y school when it could well be that over the summer a couple of places free up when people decide to send their kids to other schools or private let school X know and she gets in after all."

It could easily be that she's not thought through the practicalities of not letting go of that place for someone else.

Why dont you just talk to her about it op and find out whats happening. Maybe she doesn't realise she has to give the place up. She might not have thought about the implications.

havingamadmoment, I hope you manage the move without too much stress! I'm impressed you've found a rental so far ahead.

OP, do you know people in the desired school, so your DD can socialise and be given a pleasant "surprise" when yiu get tge place?

Helpful posts. Thanks. I might have a gentle word with her. And yes, DD does have some great little mates who will be going so the socialising is underway and we'll continue that. The "pleasant surprise" is the way forward - for all concerned. Other than ranting to you all there's not a lot else we can do.

And if any if DD's new-school friends has an issue with confidence, s/he could "buddy" DD when school starts.