Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


to be annoyed that I can't ask the joint account holder for help?

22 replies

NotYoMomma · 18/06/2013 22:36

So... (be nice I am pregnant)

DH and myself have a joint account. he does online banking, sets up direct debits and generally sorts the finances because I deal with people querying payments for a living and just dont want to deal with my own lol

DH has spreadsheets with incomings and outgoings and Actually loves it so who am I to complain

Anyway.... I washed and tumble dried lost my bank card so had to call for a replacement.

I answered:
Sort code
Account number
Date of birth
Full address
mothers maiden name

But then: can you tell me a direct debit that comes out monthly

[Shock] no... I actually can't! I dont't know any amounts from when they were set up 5 years ago! And DH is so obsessed witg getting the best energy prices etc I dont even know who provides the electric and gas! The shame!!!

So I say 'dh, what's a direct debit out of'

ANd the lady says 'You are NOT to ask your husband.'

So I was all, two minutes I need to get a bank statement... Dh also has a particular filing system that you woukd need ab enigma nachine to crack...

Apparently I cant ask him that either.

Queue me and DH shuffling papers in silence playing frantic charades while he gets the online banking up and I 'pretend' to read ab imaginary statement to tge lady.

AIBU to think I coukd havr bloody well double checked a direct debit withthe joint account holder?

rely others must have a set up where one person sorts the bank while the other lives in ignorant bliss?

Would have saved time and he wasnt a random! I coukd even gave popped him on the phone to confirm! Especially as I had already answered all of tge other security questions

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 18/06/2013 22:41

We've had this! It's a flipping joint account! What does it matter who answers!



MaureenMLove · 18/06/2013 22:42

I first thought, 'how could you not know any of the DDs that go out of your joint account? But on reflection, I don't think DH would know either!

For future use, if your DH is so careful with things, I would hazard a guess that the TV license is paid monthly and that's £12.12! Grin


TheCraicDealer · 18/06/2013 22:51

Because OP was ordering a card for herself with her name on, so they needed to make sure it was her on the phone- doesn't matter if DH can chip in, he's not the one the cardholder. He couldn't order her one on her behalf, unless she goes through security first and says, "I'm putting my DH on the line". It's frustrating but ultimately the rules are there to reduce identity theft and fraud #twinworksinacallcentre


NotYoMomma · 18/06/2013 22:56

But I had already answered all of the id questions, I would have had to hunt for a statement for ages, I don't even look at them or even know if I still get a paper statement.

The last6 letters I got from tge bank were telling me I could have a huge loan with one phone call or a snazzy credit card (no to credit in this house)

Think we had already established that I eas eho I said at this point

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 18/06/2013 22:58

theCraicDealer How does her dh answering change that? I mean if he's there how can they stop him answering whether it's her or not? It's his account too, so it's in his interests to prevent fraud on it.


Startail · 18/06/2013 23:10

I dread making calls like that, they always want something off a recent statement and DHs filling system is brilliant.

Except everything less than three years old is in the pending heap, waiting to be filled.

Finding a statement or bill for the right card is taking your life in your hands and praying the whole lot doesn't fall on your head. (DH is a lot taller than me and he designed the study shelves).


TheCraicDealer · 18/06/2013 23:15

All the precious questions the OP "passed" are pretty straightforward if you know someone reasonably well- I bet if those were all you needed you could access a number of peoples' accounts, friends or family members, if they'd ever asked you to put money in their account or left their chequebook or card sitting out (eg., HSBC cards have your sort code and a/no embossed on the front). DD & SO's are more exact and personal.

It needs to be the OP because there have been instances where individuals have had people pretend to be their spouse or parent in order to access their accounts and withdraw funds or make changes to addresses or contact methods. I once dealt with a guy whose son did this to him via telephone banking. If someone is blatantly having to be "fed" information about their own account from someone sitting in the background then that's a pretty bright red flag. You can get details of DD's and SO's from online banking, phone apps and ATM printouts, as well as paper statements- most people would have access to at least one of these.


NotYoMomma · 18/06/2013 23:26

Funnily enough it was nit convenient for me to nip out to the ATM while on the phone to them

Dh does the online banking, I never bothered on my card

And if I am the type of person to tumble dry a bank card I darent have a banking app on my phone lol. I don't really need one anyway.

I said 'there is a monthly direct debit ofor the council tax f about £95 pounds' but I needed the exact amount and who the reference was (it was the council's name rather than council tax)

I was only reporting it damaged not wanting to transfer money etc' I think in this case you should be able to check as it is in the joint account holders interest to prevent abuse too

OP posts:

TheCraicDealer · 18/06/2013 23:44

Alright, we both know I was only pointing out paper statements aren't the only way to look at what payments you have coming out on a regular basis. I don't think there's a cash machine in your living room.

Unless your DH had previously been on the phone and run through security there's no way they would have known it was the other a/c holder sitting there. Cancelling, reordering and intercepting cards is a fairly common type of fraud. It's shitty falling foul of these questions (always happens to me and Orange...!), but it's even shittier dealing with the aftermath of fraudulent activity on an account which can take months to sort out. And as less banking takes place face to face and criminals become more inventive, security will only get more onerous. Your other option is going to the branch and shoving photographic ID in their face. Until they close your local branch that is....


MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 18/06/2013 23:45

This annoys me too, intensely.

I don't think they realize (or perhaps they don't care) how incredibly anti-disability this system is. I know that's a bit of a sidetrack, but it bothers me every time. Effectively, if I can't get DH to answer for me, I have to go into the bank or get DH to fill out a paper form for me (which technically he shouldn't do either, but they'd never know). I think they should realize that if it's a joint account, one reason you might want to delegate the other person to do it, is that you're not really equipped to deal with your own finances.


LazyMonkeyButler · 18/06/2013 23:57

We absolutely have this too - DH is a Management Accountant for a living and is perfectly happy for me to keep the household accounts. He could probably guess that gas, electricity, council tax etc. were being paid monthly from the joint account but would not be able to give exact amounts.

I suppose though, there is a chance that you may not be Mrs DH but a sultry mistress attempting to rip off Mrs DH. I always write down DH's answers for him before he phone Blush.


EagleRiderDirk · 19/06/2013 09:25

Answered on the other thread but this one reminded me that even I don't know my direct debit details and I have only two. The reason is they are the lottery and a mobile phone bill. Lottery changes when its a 4 or 5 week month and mobile changes if I do things outside my plan. Though I know roughly how much they are I can't answer definitively without a statement.

I think my favourite thing was a shop I'd done recently at a supermarket, how much was it. I answered it was roughly around £x but they wanted precise. Was a little hard to check that as at the time I was phoning because my online account had been accidentally locked.


jessjessjess · 19/06/2013 09:27

I don't think it's healthy to know so little about your own finances. What if your DH was ill? I think it's fine for one person to handle the admin, but the other really shouldn't be so clueless. Ignorant bliss isn't so blissful if you suddenly find you need to know.


LisaMed · 19/06/2013 09:34

As an aside...

I have never been able to afford to learn to drive and nor have I been able to afford a foreign holiday since 1984. So I have no passport and no driver's licence. I also indulge in paperless billing. I don't have anything with photo id as a SAHM who finds it hard to get to places like libraries and practically never leaves the house so I don't have a library card or photo bus pass.

If I had to open an account at a different bank or prove who I was for any other reason I would be completely stuffed.

As for knowing what happens where, dh would be completely stuffed with those questions. He genuinely doesn't know. The time we were asked to pay £4k in cash to a window fitter was interesting as he had the id and I had the answers to the questions.

I know the questions are to protect us but I am going to have to face getting the money together for a passport just for identification.

btw should anything happen to me I have a Google Drive document which dh has access to which has info on all the providers and addresses, tel numbers etc. At least that will be a start.


Crinkle77 · 19/06/2013 09:41

I have to agree with Jess. It's one thing to leave everything to your husband if he is happy to do it but I would want to know what was going out every month. Next time you ring just make sure you have a recent statement to hand. I know the questions are annoying but they benefit you in the long run if it protects your bank account from fraud.


TheCraicDealer · 19/06/2013 09:42

You could get a provisional driving licence Lisa; £50 as opposed to £72 for a passport. And renewal is c.£17 iirc, rather than seventy odd quid.

If you're in NI then an electoral identity card is free and accepted by all banks, but they don't do these in the rest of the UK. No idea why, as they'd suit many people in your situation down to the ground.


NotYoMomma · 19/06/2013 18:40

I know what is incoming and outgoing as in totals, I just dont know the specifics. If anything happened to dh I would be able to get statements from the bank but also we have a spreadsheet on the computer.

I always know what is in the account, the savings and how much I / we can spend but I do not know the regular dd amount to the electricity company for example.

Next time I'm having the spreadsheet in front of me lol

OP posts:

MerryOnMerlot · 19/06/2013 18:49

I had a similar problem this afternoon.

DH went to the bank a few years ago to set up accounts for DC. MIL pays their pocket money into these accounts. I went to the bank today to transfer the balances into our joint account so DC will have spending money of their own when we go on holiday this summer.

Well, apparently, despite us having individual and a joint account, I do all DH's online banking etc, I carried both DC's and gave birth to them, this is NOT ENOUGH.

DH is in the Middle East and not due to return here for god knows how long. So basically he can't pop into the branch to arrange this.

Answer - tough shit. They MIGHT be able to do something if he writes to Head Office. Just what he needs.

I appreciate that banks need security set-ups, but I was able to transfer balances in the kids' other (different type) accounts today, but COME ON!


MerryOnMerlot · 19/06/2013 18:51


Don't feel bad - my DH doesn't have a scooby what DD's SO's our accounts have, let alone exactly how much. Why would he when I do it all?


shewhowines · 19/06/2013 19:06

I would be in the exact same position as you op. I wouldn't have clue. Fortunately, most places will let me answer the security questions and then they are happy for me to pass the phone over to DH.

I'd be stuck if they didn't.

I was a bit surprised though, when DH asked me to transfer some shares (or something) that were in my name. Admittedly I wasn't asking to take money out - just transfer them, but they did it without asking any security questions at all. I then realised that DH had done the same thing often, and I had never been asked if that was ok, despite the fact they were in my name. Obviously I trust my DH, but surely nobody should be able to do things with anything that is in someone else's name?


LisaMed · 20/06/2013 08:40

TheCraicDealer - my uncle has just given me money for driving lessons (be very afraid!) so I have just forked out for the provisional.

I was probably the only person in the country that was sad we didn't get identity cards. I'm in mainland UK.

And my dh would be in exactly the same position as the OP. He won't even open bill letters. However he does have access to that Google drive document (though he doesn't use it) so I would recommend people try that. If anything happens to either of us it is a great port of call


HKat · 20/06/2013 12:38

I've also had past experience of looking at complaints in this area, and can hand on heart say that for every complaint about difficulty of access like here, there's one about a bank's failure to prevent access. So whilst it is extremely annoying, I agree, I do think the banks can be damned if they do, and damned if they don't.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?