to be annoyed that I can't ask the joint account holder for help?

[NotYoMomma]

So... (be nice I am pregnant)

DH and myself have a joint account. he does online banking, sets up direct debits and generally sorts the finances because I deal with people querying payments for a living and just dont want to deal with my own lol

DH has spreadsheets with incomings and outgoings and Actually loves it so who am I to complain

Anyway.... I washed and tumble dried lost my bank card so had to call for a replacement.

I answered:
Sort code
Account number
Name
Date of birth
Full address
mothers maiden name

But then: can you tell me a direct debit that comes out monthly

[Shock] no... I actually can't! I dont't know any amounts from when they were set up 5 years ago! And DH is so obsessed witg getting the best energy prices etc I dont even know who provides the electric and gas! The shame!!!

So I say 'dh, what's a direct debit out of'

ANd the lady says 'You are NOT to ask your husband.'

So I was all, two minutes I need to get a bank statement... Dh also has a particular filing system that you woukd need ab enigma nachine to crack...

Apparently I cant ask him that either.

Queue me and DH shuffling papers in silence playing frantic charades while he gets the online banking up and I 'pretend' to read ab imaginary statement to tge lady.

AIBU to think I coukd havr bloody well double checked a direct debit withthe joint account holder?

rely others must have a set up where one person sorts the bank while the other lives in ignorant bliss?

Would have saved time and he wasnt a random! I coukd even gave popped him on the phone to confirm! Especially as I had already answered all of tge other security questions

You really need to know how to access these things on the comp yourself. In the event of his death....horrid to think about but it does happen to people...you would be buggered.

That's absolute bollocks that you can't ask another party.

Erm, bank lady was talking bollocks. Not you. Just read that back

I hate those security questions.

I was once asked "Please can you name the baby shop you bought somethng from recently". I knew I hadn't got anything recently from a baby shop so asked how long ago only to be told she couldn't tell me that. I went through the small number of actual baby shops I've ever used only to be told it wasn't any of those.

Eventually she asked me another quiestion which i was thankfully able to answer. Once I was through security I asked her what the shop was called as I was worried I couldn't remember it. She named the school uniform shop we use for DD!!

I hate them too - I know full well what comes in and out and I still go when I'm asked that for security.

Even worse is when they ask you where you last used your card and how much for, they get 5 minutes of me going...well I bought some shoes yesterday, hang on was that yesterday or the day before, oh no I went to the garage last night, I don't know which one it is though, I mean obviously I know where it is...oh hang on I was at the vets' this morning, has that come off yet? and then none of them is right, lol.

Have you actually tried your card? I wash and dry mine all the time, they just go a bit curved but work fine.

I'm not painting a very good picture of myself here am I? lol

Oh that's utter nonsense, we have a joint account and ask each other questions all the time. Tbh neither of us would have a clue about direct debits etc without going over a statement.

We both put everything on our cards for the whole month so we would be stumped if our bank asked us questions like that tab becasue it could be everything from a sandwich at Tesco to new shoes or whatever!

I regularly phone banks on behalf of my father who is very hard of hearing and doesn't fricking listen when his hearing aids are working anyway. I've never had an issue at all, I explain why I'm calling on his behalf, they ask the questions and they can hear him answering them in the background, and me relaying the info back to him and him stropping about it.

Its rubbish that you can't ask another person. Though if you encountered this again, I'd say 'hang on I'm just checking a statement' and write the question to your OH. I'd also complain about the worker as I'm sure, like others that is bull.

Also, can your OH not request you a card? Because your situation isn't that unusual and what are you meant to do then?

That's ridiculous. Of course you can ask them. Bank lady is a loon.

BUT you really should know what direct debits come out of your account. It's a fairly standard security question so you shouldn't have been surprised they would ask it/should be armed with the information.

Was it perhaps a bank that uses an overseas call centre???

My main account has their call centre in Scotland. Nothing is to much trouble, they use thier common sense.
My other account has their call centre in India and they are nightmare to deal with. They have a set script and won't deviate from it.