To think SIL is making a cat-related mistake

[TheCatIsUpTheDuff]

We live on the same street as BIL and SIL. Recently there have been two adorable kittens in the garden. I admit I once fed one of them because he was behaving as though he was really hungry, but now I know they belong to someone, I haven't done it again and won't. I know my cats do a good job of pretending they never get fed, even quite soon after dinner!

SIL is falling in love with the kittens and is tempting them into their house with food. She's got flea treatment for them and is now talking about putting collars on them.

The person they belong to has a boyfriend with a reputation for violence and unpredictable behaviour. I don't know how true that is, but it's the "word on the street." Either way, I think trying to nick somebody else's cats is not on, and the woman will be justifiably pissed off. AIBU?

BIL doesn't mind cats, but doesn't want one.

there are millions of kittens, just tell her to get her own! regardless of the violent partner, they are not her cats to claim like this

and does anyone know if double dosing on flea treatments etc can actually harm them? she's well out of order there IMO!

Just go to local sanctuary. Kittens galore.

Is she usually so nutty?

Oh crap. It's six of one half a dozen of the other. You wouldn't really want to steal cats but if he is violent towards people I really don't fancy the chances of two little kittens living with him. Especially if they're let out very young uncollared and not flea treated etc. Have they even been neutered?

I would be very worried about them if I knew they were living with someone violent.

I've given her directions to the local sanctuary. Not sure about doubling up on flea treatment - probably not good, but as far as I know the shite you get from the pet shop doesn't do a lot anyway, but good point, I'll tell her that it could hurt them. She does mean well.

She is a bit emotionally fragile at the moment - long story short, she really wants to get married, he doesn't - he loves her but doesn't want to be married, and they've recently started TTC and I'm pregnant, which is hard for her. I'm not rubbing it in her face but it is visible.

She's usually really sweet and thoughtful, but doesn't get that the cat-owner will be upset and cross if she steals the cats.

YANBU. Tell SIL to get down to the local cat & dog home or look in the local press for kittens.

I have a cat and would have been tempted to chin anyone who tried to "steal" him, either when he was an adorable ball off kitten fluff or now.

People who try to own animals that insist on roaming free run the risk of this happening.

I don't think your SIL is doing something that's ok, but I don't think it's that bad either.

They are cats. They go where they want.

She really shouldn't be flea treating them (unless they're hopping?) or putting collars on them. If one of my cats came home with a collar I'd be raging. We don't put them on ours as they can be a choke hazard. Plus, y'know, they're my cats.

She should just get her own cats if she wants one/two. There always loads in the sanctuaries.

If your neighbour does have a violent boyfriend, she is probably very emotionally vulnerable. The last thing she needs is someone nicking the pets that she no doubt loves.

If your SIL thinks the cats are being mistreated, she should call the RSPCA. If not, as juniper says, there are plenty of cats in shelters that need a good home - she doesn't need to nick someone else's animals.

YANBU
unless the cats are being mistreated which you do not suggest in your post (in which case she should go to rspca s turps says).
It is a truly auwful thing to do, to try and take someones cats especially kittens at such an impressionable age.
It should be made a crime and I would be devastated if anyone did that to me.
Get her to come to her senses!

I don't think the cats are being mistreated. They're friendly and approach people, their fur looks shiny and healthy, and they look a healthy shape and size. If they were mine I wouldn't be letting them out until they'd been neutered but they're not mine, so it's not my decision. I'd guess they're about 4 months old, and I'm not sure how old they have to be for neutering - I've mostly had adult rescue cats rather than kittens.

DH spoke to her about the risk of doubling up on flea treatment and thinks that made her think - she'd feel awful if she hurt them, but even though she knows the efforts we've made to stop our BigFurryCat getting any fatter, she doesn't seem to appreciate that feeding them isn't good.

I've also talked to her about the costs of cats, in terms of insurance, jabs, neutering etc, and that she needs BIL to be up for it as well. I think he'd come round to the idea if she seriously wanted one of her own, so I'll keep talking to her about rescue cats. Maybe I'll get her round for a cup of tea tomorrow and show her the local cat rescue website.