to consider this woman morally bankrupt and not want to be friends?

[BudgieSmugglers]

She's a friend of a friend but the following tale came straight from the horse's mouth.

Now early 40s, income from family trust fund, one previous longterm relationship as the OW. Went travelling, got pregnant after two week relationship came back to UK. Made little attempt to keep in touch with the father.

Desperate for a relationship so after 5 years hooks up with local man, he's not ideal, prison record, three children with different mothers, little contact with them. Within a week she finds out his on/off girlfriend is pregnant but chooses to continue the relationship.

Given all that would you be friends with her?

[BudgieSmugglers]

I'm not so judgy in real life we just drink wine but just a few of her off the cuff comments have have made me realise that we have very different ideas about what we'd do when looking for a partner.

[Holly129]

If she was my friend, yes. She'd have to wrong me personally for me not to be her friend.

I sense there must be more to this story?

[sleeplessbunny]

so she has had a string of bad relationships, with unsuitable men. How on earth does that make her morally bankrupt?
Surely the men in these scenarios are the ones who are lacking a moral compass?
You don't sound very nice.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Socially inept bf?
Whatever next

[MerylStrop]

She sounds like she's made some bad decisions and exercised poor judgement, and possibly had some bad luck along the way.

None of which makes her morally bankrupt.

Whether I wanted to be friends with her would depend on entirely different things.

[Smilehappy]

You sound something awful...

How judgemental and bitchy are you! Who said she even wants to be your friend... I wouldn't. You haven't even walked a step in her shoes so how you can even comprehend her life is beyond me...

[Sparklysilversequins]

You're right not to be friends with her. Sounds like she has enough nasty stuff going on in her life. Don't add to it.

[BudgieSmugglers]

I do sound awful, along with the attention grabbing title I've worded the OP badly but writing it all out and reflecting on it is helpful.

We all coast along with friendships because our kids are the same age, we live locally, we drink wine, etc.

[carabos]

I think you have set the bar for "moral bankruptcy" fairly low. People have affairs - it's not ideal, but IMO, not "morally bankrupt".

I know people who have done dubious things, which taken in isolation, would make me a bit judgey, but I only know one or two who I would regard as morally bankrupt, and those are the ones who deliberately set out to make other people's lives a misery for no reason other than to provide themselves with entertainment.

[FeegleFion]

Yeah, do her a favour and refuse to be friends.

As the old saying goes "Who needs enemies with friends like you"?

[BudgieSmugglers]

Her attitude is that because it's up to the man in question - any man is far game. And she has and does pursue them, no one is off limits.

Whilst it was just a bunch of woman having the odd evening out, fine but she is now becoming more of a part of our community events. She's skipped social circles over the last few years and obviously due to the boy friends most recent baby she is seen as the 'OW' by that particular circle and not popular.

I suspect she made a pass at older friends husband and that's why old friend is withdrawing socially. I've no way of knowing this for sure but at a party on the weekend, that couple arrived late and she only stayed less than an hour previously she'd have been a big, popular social butterfly.

I think I'm answering my own question but I think a great deal of damage has already been done to our previously happy group of friends.

[FeegleFion]

X-post

[crumblepie]

what has this woman done wrong ? maybe more people like her than you ? i would not want a friend like you in a million .

[Dackyduddles]

Why has she got to have your taste in men to be a decent friend? Odd criteria......?

[Corygal]

Sounds like a silly trustafarian - if she's not your cup of tea, just avoid.

All the posters would be giving this gal hell if she posted the same thing in relationships, hilariously.

[Dackyduddles]

Ah drip feeding. Yawn. Off for more interesting fodder.....

[Owllady]

what did he go to prison for?

[nkf]

Is this you and you are trying.to work out how appealing you are?

[imademarion]

'Morally bankrupt?'

You need to get out more

Some of my mates are right shockers and I'd do anything for them.

I've had a good laugh at this thread though.

[WireCat]

You are a gossip.

[MammaTJ]

I'm not so judgy in real life

Is this not real life you are talking about?

[Onesleeptillwembley]

I don't get what makes her morally bankrupt. You, on the other hand, sound vile. Please don't become friends with her, she does have bad judgement and probably wouldn't see through you at first. Someone like you is the last thing anyone needs.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

'I'm not so judgy in real life'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[EuphemiaLennox]

She sounds rather flakey about relationships.

I have some friends who are a bit drifty or flakey in life- they're also generally fun, optimistic, kind and non judgey about others lives.

You on the other hand sound a rigid, judgmental, superior, putting people in boxes and generally like you think you've got life sorted kind of person.

I know which one I'd rather be friends with.

Suggestion- just enjoy being friends with her and avoid getting into a relationship or having a baby with her??

Oh, and careful about that I've got life sorted thing....