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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to pay my childminder for half a day?

25 replies

LovelyWench223 · 18/06/2013 12:24

I'll start by saying, my childminder is a lovely woman and I don't know what I'd do without her.

She looks after my DS for two full weeks and then the second two weeks for half days (5 hours or less) as myself and DP work rotating shifts.

She has recently started looking after another little boy who she drops at nursery every day. This has meant that me and DP must now drop my little boy off an hour and a half earlier than previously agreed (CM doesn't drive).

DP feels that we should now pay her a full day, however I disagree as we are already losing out on that extra time with DS and it is not by our stipulation that we have to drop him off at that time.

I was wondering whether others think I am BU to only want to pay her a half day?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/06/2013 12:31

What did your childminder say with respect to payment?

valiumredhead · 18/06/2013 12:33

You need to discuss this with your CM, it really needs to be written down and both agreed to.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 18/06/2013 12:33

To be honest I'm surprised that she doesn't charge a full day even when DS is there a half day. It limits the number of other kids she can look after. Childminders near me charge a full day even for after school pick ups.

Original poster

LovelyWench223 · 18/06/2013 12:37

At the minute nothing as it will be another fortnight until this becomes an issue and she has said she will have a think about it and let us know next week.

DP thinks we should take it out of her hands and offer the full amount rather than wait for an answer, but it's me who controls finances and this will make things a lot tighter for us as a family.

I know she's an employee and deserve to be paid for her time but it may mean having to change childminders which I would hate to do as DS ha really bonded with her.

OP posts:

Original poster

LovelyWench223 · 18/06/2013 12:39

Don't get me wrong I appreciate the fact that she even allows us to have a half day rate. Tbh I'm probably reacting more to it as its taking me away from DS when it's the weeks when I finish at 8 or 9 (he's already in bed when I get home)

OP posts:

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/06/2013 12:45

Could you not work out her hourly rate and increase her pay by an hour and a half a day?
That way you are paying for her time, but not for when your child isn't there?

LangenFlugelHappleHoff · 18/06/2013 12:46

sorry but i was under the impression that Childminders were self employed

I know she's an employee and deserve to be paid for her time but it may mean having to change childminders which I would hate to do as DS ha really bonded with her

It's then surely her choice on fees, arrange a meeting with her and discuss through your options.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/06/2013 12:47

To be honest I think I'd start by looking for another childminder whose hours suit you better. Failing that I'm really not sure on payment. Perhaps you could ask your childminder to charge for the extra time at an hourly rather than by the half day. This would be a compromise between the fact she has your DS for a longer time but that this is for her benefit rather than yours.

dreamingofsun · 18/06/2013 12:50

it sounds as if you are having to fit in with her...ie its not you that wants the extra hours and its probably not that convenient to drop your child off earlier. so i'd be inclinded to wait and see what she says.

if i was really happy with her then i would have to think about how good other childcare might be and the disruption of moving my child. if i was happy i would tend to compromise/agree with things that didn't matter that much compared to the care of my child....so i might well be prepared to pay the extra.

Fairyegg · 18/06/2013 12:53

I wouldn't pay her any extra, it's not your choice to have your ds with her for those extra hours it hers. I would also be looking for another childminder as I wouldn't like losing those extra hours with my ds for another child's benefit.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/06/2013 12:58

Fairyegg - that is true but the childminder will actually be working during those 90 minutes looking after OP's DS. She does deserve some payment for that, although not I'd say an extra half day's pay.

OP - Is your childminder perhaps hoping that you'll leave so she can take on a full time person? Asking you to bring your DS in 90 mins early every day is a big ask.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 18/06/2013 13:18

It sounds like it's the hours that bother you more than the money. In which case yanbu. However, it is perfectly reasonable for your childminder to be paid for the whole day. As you say, up till now she's been pretty generous about it. If you do want to stay with her I'd offer to pay for the extra 1.5 hours.

I don't know about where you are, but finding a good childminder is nigh on impossible around here, so I would be reluctant to change if I didn't have to. And if you did, they might want paying for full days.

ParadiseChick · 18/06/2013 13:21

She's not your employee.

Jeez.

All these people living it up under the impression they employ builders, cleaners, child minders etc. You aren't employing her, she's self employed, your using her services at an agreed rate.

LaGuardia · 18/06/2013 14:04

however I disagree as we are already losing out on that extra time with DS and it is not by our stipulation that we have to drop him off at that time.

If you gave up work and became a SAHM you would not lose out on any time with your DS and wouldn't have to worry about CM. I can thoroughly recommend it.

Thurlow · 18/06/2013 14:16

Helpful, LaGuardia

This is a really tricky one, as you are getting a good deal by only paying 1/2 days some of the time, she could charge full time rates. But you haven't asked to drop your DS off early. I'm quite surprised, actually, that your CM agreed to take on another charge when she knew the routine would clash so much with your existing one. Obviously compromises have to be made - we do shift work too and so sometimes we have to drop off or pick up a bit earlier or later than we could, but that's only a matter of half an hour at the most and generally is because of the school run.

Crinkle77 · 18/06/2013 14:48

I think she has a cheek. You had an existing arrangement with her but now she wants to breach that. Then again if you were to go to someone else you might have to pay for a full day instead of a half day so don't be too hasty with your decision.

ConfusedPixie · 18/06/2013 15:29

She is not an employee so it's her choice whether to charge. I'm also wondering if she's trying to get you to leave as 90mins extra by her choice is a lot!

MerylStrop · 18/06/2013 15:38

Sorry, don't quite get it?

Just want to be clear, she wants you to drop off your DS earlier so that she can do the nursery run with the other child? Could you not drop him with her after the nursery run maybe?

Why an hour and a half earlier? Is DS going to spend that entire time in the pram going there and back? Sounds a bit rubbish...

I can see why you don't particularly want to pay for childcare that you don't need or want. That said I think you have had it cushty so far, most childminders would charge you for a whole day for your 5 hours childcare as it takes up a full time place.

MerylStrop · 18/06/2013 15:41

But crinkle, CM is not "breaching" anything. She needs to change what she can offer so that she can make a living by having another mindee. With plenty of notice. Which is entirely reasonable.

BrienneOfTarth · 18/06/2013 15:42

If it was me, I'd be looking for another childminder anyway - if that 90 minutes in the morning is the only time you would get with your child that day then losing the time for the sake of her convenience is not fair on you or your child.

And no I would not expect you to have to pay for the privilege while you look for alternatives.

Original poster

LovelyWench223 · 18/06/2013 16:15

Thanks for all the responses, they have really helped me reassess the situation, which I think has been somewhat influenced by the fact I'm focusing on losing out on time with DS.

In regards to writing my CM was an employee I realise now how that could have sounded and I simply meant that she I utilise her services so sorry if this sounded demeaning (I am in an occupation where I get this a lot so I can see where you are coming from).

I think I will see if she will agree to provide me an hourly rate, as I know I am getting a sweet deal already and would like to compromise as I don't really want to uproot DS.

Thanks again

OP posts:

Original poster

LovelyWench223 · 18/06/2013 16:24

Thanks for all the responses, they have really helped me reassess the situation, which I think has been somewhat influenced by the fact I'm focusing on losing out on time with DS.

I think I will see if she will agree to provide me an hourly rate, as I know I am getting a sweet deal already and would like to compromise as I don't really want to uproot DS.

Thanks again

OP posts:

Thurlow · 18/06/2013 16:26

If it helps, we have a similar set up but DD's hours are all over the place, they change week by week. We pay a set fee per month, after working out what the average monthly hours would be. Some months it means we are paying for 100 hours, say, but only use 85, other months we end up using 110. Our CM prefers this as she has a guaranteed income every month. Our contract says that we will reassess this when it comes to signing a new contract.

MaureenMLove · 18/06/2013 16:41

I think I'd consider long term too tbh. I assume your DS is pre-school so doesn't need to be dropped anywhere yet, but at some point within the next year or 2 he will. The new boy will then be at full time school. Same location as your DS or somewhere else?

If your childminder doesn't drive, this could take hours if it's somewhere else!

90 mins earlier is a big jump for you and must really have made an impact on your morning routine! I remember taking on a nursery child and I simply asked parents to come either before or after drop off, but that was only 10mins or so! I think it's really unreasonable to change it by 90 mins!

I don't think you should offer a full day pay. It was her choice to take on this new child and I don''t think she's taken into consideration her other charges, which is wrong imho.

By all means offer her an extra hour, but I think you are being very understanding to do that, given the inconvenience.

Floggingmolly · 18/06/2013 16:43

Losing out on that time with our ds sounds frankly ridiculous in the context of dropping him off at the childminders.

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