Aibu for not wanting to see dm today?

[QueenFaeriecakes]

I want to take DS to school, do abit of shopping, come home and potter about.
Dm wants me to go to her house, demands I tell her what is more important, thinks I must be going through a bipolar low because I want to be on my own (I'm perfectly happy actually!)
The truth is, she's depressed and moans every other sentence , I'm just not in the mood for it today! I'm not in the supportive frame of mind. Selfish of me?

YANBU.

You should do what you want. Your time is precious.

I love being on my own during the day, it is v relaxing.

Had you already agreed to go to hers? Or is she just asking now?

She asked last night and I mumbled I was busy......then she wanted to know exactly what I was doing and couldn't I fit her in for a few hours. She's not mentally well but won't get help and I'm working 100% with mental health team for my health which is still a struggle but I got over the worse with their help. Explaining this to dm is a waste of time.

Just not got the energy for it today.....housework with tunes on is more appealing

My mother is very like this, it's so draining isn't it. I work part time and she needs to know what I'm doing on each day when I'm not working, then she makes plans for us.
We lived with her for a couple of years after my father died, so I've had my fill of her!
I find the only thing to do is to be very firm and create all sorts of fictitious appointments. I also tell her when I'm going to visit rather than let her decide, then keep to it.

I feel your pain. If you need a day away from her, then do it. My mum is widowed, and understandably grieving, but she is very draining company. You have to take care of your own mental health too. My mum is of the opinion that she doesn't need to make the effort to have her own life because she has daughters, but daughters need a life too that doesn't revolve around mum.

In that case YANBU in the slightest. You already have plans, even if they had been to stay in your pyjamas and eat cake, it's your choice, and your mother doesn't get to dictate. "More important" doesn't even come into it, but if it did, I'd say taking care of your own mental health trumps pandering to someone who won't help themselves.

Definitely not being unreasonable. You are not breaking agreed plans and just want a bit of time to yourself.

You have every right to protect your recovery by limiting time with a person who is depressed and won't help herself.

My father is exactly the same.

I moved away from him two years ago and it was like being set free. I know that sounds awful.

He has plans to move near to me again, I know it's going to go back to the same old routine.