Argh! Had it up to here with housework!

[grumpyinthemorning]

DP turned the entire house upside down yesterday looking for the gas card. Who gets to clear up? Muggins here. The whole place is a shit-tip, I'm horribly ill, and I'm sick to the back teeth of it being my job. And I just discovered that he pulled all the clean washing out of the dryer and left it on the floor when he was looking for his work shirt. The basket was about a foot away.

He always says we need to make more of an effort with the housework, but that really means me since I'm the one at home all day.

AIBU to go on strike until he starts pulling his weight?

I always try to go easy with DH when he leaves stuff on the floor etc because our standards are quite different and I think he genuinely doesn't see the mess. However, he's never told me that 'we' need to make more of an effort so I think you should definitely strike until he start making more of an effort.

Yesterday was a Sunday. Why couldn't he clear up his own mess? He sounds like a thoughtless man-child.

He was working yesterday, the mess happened in the evening. But I don't demolish the place when I look for something!

In my house, you make a mess, you tidy it up! If dh makes a mess on the kitchen surfaces with his toast and walks away from it, i send him back to clean it up. I dont do it for him.

Sounds like you need to do that with your dh.

I know how you feel. My DH makes a big mess too, then moans at me if the house isn't tidy. And he rarely does any housework. If he does he makes a big song and dance about it and I am expected to be grateful.

Am totally fed up with it

I'm with GoingUp on this. Don't enable him to be a messy bugger!

Same as going up. We both clean/tidy up after ourselves as we go along, but as I'm at home and he works I do the major cleaning. So if he spills something he will quickly wipe it, but I will clean the kitchen every day. Same as if he drops crumbs on the floor he will sweep it up, but I'm the one who does the hoovering and mopping.

Even though you are the one at home it doesn't mean he can make more mess for you to clean. He's got a bloody cheek to comment on the housework if he is making so much mess.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes DH will start to get a bit lazy about things but i will calmly explain that it makes keeping our home nice harder. For example, recently he stopped putting his clothes in the washing bin each day, and so one day there would be nothing in it and the next it would be overflowing. I explained that this makes it much harder for me to keep up with it as I don't know what needs washing and he sorted it out.

There is a saying that men who are looked after will revert to being boys so I think you need to get a good balance. He is BU, not you in this situation.

Mine is not too bad, he will do chores hes given although he doesnt see the point of housework. He thinks we should chill out & let nature take its course. He will only do his chores & wont take the initiative so will wash a cup for his tea but wont wash the dishes in the sink because he's not been asked to.

Is there space to leave the washing basket in front of the dryer? That would give him a very visual hint. I dont undeestand why he thought leaving clean washing on the floor would be acceptable.

Unfortunately some women continue to spoil & bring up their sons to have no responsibility towards housework. So when they settle down with a partner, these men accept the same level of pampering from their partners.

Ladies, we need to be stricter with our sons when it comes to housework. Future marriages are at stake. Apparantly one of the main causes of strife amongst couples is housework.

I would stop doing his washing if he can't even be arsed to put the clean stuff in the basket. I'd leave any clean stuff of his where it lies and any dirty clothes in the hamper. If questioned tell him you're concentrating on making an effort with the housework as requested.