to have not reported a shoplifter

[lifeisaboxofchocolates]

I was in town yesterday shopping with my 5 month old. I went into one of those pop up candy shops and was browsing (drooling over) the shelves and noticed this man next to me who stole a packet of chocolate toffees. I did not report him. I debated with myself in the shop just after he'd done it and before he left which was shortly after, once he'd done the whole look at something else then make a sharp exit thing.

The reason I didn't report him was 2 fold:

1. I felt sorry for him, it was "just" a packet of sweets. Plus he didn't look as though he had a lot of money by the condition of his clothes, his overall cleanliness appearance and the fact he had a bulging old and worn supermarket plastic bag with him. I have since realised that this could have been bulging with other stolen goods. My opinion of him and his lifestyle was an assumption I made based on his appearance.

2. I had my son with me and did not know how the situation would pan out if I reported him. Plus I live in a small town and could have easily have bumped into him again.

Should I have just turned a blind eye like I did? What would you have done?

Hmmm.

Going be reason 1 - I may not have said anything. If he looked homeless and hungry?

But for reason 2 - I wouldn't have given a damn. I have grassed up shoplifters before now.

Yanbu, i think... It's quite tricky, i presume you'd have said something if he had stolen more/looked better off?

I would have done the same as you, for the same reasons.
It's something that he shouldn't have done and I wouldn't do myself, but you had no idea about his life and circumstances. Maybe he was shop lifting to sell, or maybe he was desperate for a gift for a loved one and couldn't afford it.
Maybe an arrest would mean him losing his job or his family and children.
I can settle a shop losing a £5 box of toffees with my conscious much more easily than a man losing his job/family/liberty, even if it is for committing an offence like this.

I would tip off staff.

I would (I hope) always step in to help the victims of a crime (unless there was direct physical danger in doing so). And if it were my belongings that were being stolen, I'd be immensely grateful to anyone who helped me.

It is a tough one I think for anyone in a similar situation and was a snap decision I made in the moment and now I've had time to reflect.

In regards to Icing's comment I'm not sure if I would have done the same if the person looked better off or was a high value item because, in reflection, should it morally make a difference? It is still illegal whether it's penny sweets or a car for example.

I didn't know what the repercussions would be for the shoplifter and his life and made a decision that it wasn't worth it.

If it was my own shop I would like to be told and would take it as a personal affront if someone stole from me but from an outsider's point of view I weighed up who would be worse off if I reported it or didn't and decided it would have been the shoplifter.

for the shop staff to apprehend the man they have to have actually seen him take the sweets.If they had acted on your tip off and you had been mistaken/lying they would have been in lots of trouble for wrongful arrest. Certainly not worth that risk for the cost of a bag of sweets.

Mmm, that's interesting xylem. Thanks. That reminds me when I used to work in a supermarket many moons ago and a lady in her 50s was shopping with her husband and was well dressed and well spoken. She used the fitting rooms to try on a few things and when I went back the tags had been ripped off and left on the floor. I reported this to security and they followed her on the camera round the store and could see something in her bag that was the same colour as a top she "tried" on however as they didn't actually see her steal the top/clothes they didn't do anything apart from keep an eye on her as she went around the store.

I worked in a shop at 18. I was the only one on the shop floor one quiet afternoon, and a pair of teenage girls came in. They came to the till and paid for a key ring, but I was sure that they had an identical one sneaked in her hand. I was struck by indecision- I'd never been told what to do, and the moment would have been lost if I'd gone to the back door and shouted to the manager upstairs.

Now I'm older, and more confident, a little diplomatic comment would probably have sorted it with very little fuss.

Sometimes you just don't know how to deal with it in that small window of opportunity.

I once saw a woman (looking a bit 'shifty') in Home Bargains fill a basket up with toiletries, check there were no staff nearby and just walk out the door with it.
I told a member of staff who said 'I'll go check the cctv' and didn't bother to go and see if there was actually a woman walking down the road with a basketful of stuff.

In Primark recently DH said 'that womans just bundled a load of stuff under her burkha'.
Without saying what he saw I suggested to a nearby assistant that she 'keep an eye on her'.

That's about my involvement, I don't think I would confront someone directly unless it was my shop and my stock as I don't think it would be worth the abuse I would probably get.

my dh was in a shop when a bloke got caught , when my dh came out the bloke was waiting for him and got right in his face giving him abuse because he thought my dh had said something (dh never even saw him thieving) someone was watching the thief on cctv , i would not get involved , some nasty people out there .

I wouldnt get involved if I saw anything like this, people can be so aggressive.

On the other hand, I would do something if I saw a person being attacked, I saw a teenager being attacked by a group of boys and shouted at them

That was the other reason I didn't do anything because my son was with me I had no idea how they person would react if they knew it was me that had reported them. The shopkeepers may not have been very discreet about it and could've said that I'd seen him do it.

I fancy myself as an amateur store detective, and always tell staff when I see someone shoplifting. I can't let things like that go. I'm a horrible busybody

I wouldn't get involved

I can understand you being worried about any comeback on you, but I think I would have reported it if there was a way for it to be anonymous. We all have to pay more for everything because of shoplifters. I would never steal anything from a shop no matter what - stealing is so wrong no matter what it is. A child was prosecuted for stealing chewing gum during the riots iirc...

I wouldn't do anything. You don't know his circumstances.

you should have had a word with the staff. Reporting crime is not 'busybodying'.

it's NOT a victimless crime - the shop keeper is losing money. Too much of that - no shop.