To wonder WTF 'artisan' is supposed to mean and think it's the epitome of ponciness?!

[WhizzerAndChips]

I keep seeing and hearing the word 'artisan' being bandied about lately.
Someone on FB is making 'artisan' biscuits. A shop in town sells artisan bread rolls.
the more I type it the less it looks like a real word
AIBU to think it's just the new trendy, arty farty word for pretty things?!

"Are somebody being precious about their floors?"

Erm....we only wear slippers in our house and I am having someone like an artisan come and sand, seal, wax (with bees wax hand collected by another artisan obviously) them for me.

I have had homemade scones for breakfast too.

Oh dear.

"not just any old floors id imagine original feature floors"

That too.

Oh Golly gosh. Hoisted by ones own petard.

I think it's more of a mind set MoreBeta

Artisan state of mind

Boot

I've just done my very own artisan poo.

I lovingly curated all the ingrediants and carefully formed it with my organic bowels.

I'm sorry Alistair but you surely cannot take all the credit for your rustic, bespoke shabby shit yourself, please give your artisan colon and artisan innards a mention in your thanks acceptance speech. Will you be entering any of your creations into the Turner prize this year?

I came across a recipe for 'Artisan bread'. The ingredients were flour, water, yeast, salt and sugar. I think it's the attitude you have, and the red trousers you wear while you're baking it that make it truly artisan rather than good old-fashioned homemade.

Yes definitely a mind set.

Here is a key test.

If you see an 'artisan loaf' for £3.00 that looks lot like an elephant dropping do you:

A) involuntarily blurt out "How much - I could make that for 50p but not sure I would actually want to eat it!!!?"

B) involuntarily go in the shop to buy it and then carry it home in a wicker basket covered in a gingham cloth.

Alistair - x-posted your 'artisan poo' with my 'elephant dropping'.

I can see we are thinking along the same lines.

Words that irritate me:

Artisan
Pre-Loved (second-hand ffs)
Vintage (also second-hand)
Foraging
Sourced
Finds
Found Objects

Haven't heard 'Curating' and 'Edit' yet.

''I need to do the Curating in Tesco later'' hmmmm....

Sorry i mean i must go ''curating'' in Tesco to source my ''seasonal artisan-grown local produce finds.''

There is a well known poster on MN who outsources all her household management tasks (this is said in all seriousness btw). Translated, it means she has a cleaner and someone who does her ironing. I love it

Name changed in honour of MoreBeta's brilliant explanation of artisan.

A woman forced me to select different 'hats' which were on her home-made and artisan jam. Hats my arse, she had snipped her dh's shirts into circles.

Reminds me of the Harry Enfield sketch where he has a shop called 'I saw you coming' and sells all kinds of shite to morons with more money than sense.

It's all a load of old bollocks.

I remember that sketch - brilliant!

I reminds me of that Harry Enfield sketch where he owns a shop called "I Saw You Coming" and sells artisanal hand crafted, overpriced crap.

[ blush] cross post!

That is a very funny sketch and it is on You Tube but I don't know how to fashion a link.

There were actually a few sketches about the I saw you coming shop, but

The sourdough bread that I make, that takes 24 hours, but requires the absolute minimal amount of effort and costs me about 80p in bread flour, retails at about £4.50 in the shops if it has the label "artisan" on it. I don't wear red trousers when I make it, shatners, so that' s probably why I'm not making shedloads of money from it, just eating it instead.

I think the definition of "artisan" is "we saw you coming".

Ooh, xpost youthecat.

Yeah, get yourself some red trousers and a Breton top Scholes. You'll be featured as a Guardian Weekender with a month, as "Scholes, 34, artisan boulangere, street artist and curator".

Artisan - "she had snipped her dh's shirts into circles"

You mean she had 'upcycled' her husbands skanky work shirts and some used jam jars to save the planet as well.

Otherwise known as flogging overpriced microwave jam you can make in 5 minutes from packet of frozen fruit and a bag of sugar.

*Upcycling is the process of converting waste materials or useless products into new materials or products of better quality or for better environmental value.

I was definitley think of that Harry Enfield sketch as well. Brilliant!

"rustic, bespoke, shabby shit"

also "instant collection", meaning overpriced crap X 3.

i.e. "this instant collection of found objects will create a stimulating talking point, displayed on the mantel of your period fireplace."

translation: "here is some random shit I plucked out of my hedge. That'll be £75."