Father's Day ignored

[nothingbyhalves]

Dfil passed away almost 2 years ago. Mil is staying with us this weekend. (Background) usually we do a family thing for fathers/ Mother's Day. This year family meal with mil , and sil and family. My sister wants to invite everyone to hers for Sunday dinner tomorrow for Father's Day, but my parents and dh say to not make a big deal so we don't upset mil. I do understand why, but why should dh and my dad not have a fuss as I and mil ( and my mum ) did on Mother's Day? Or Aibu?

Make a fuss of them on a other day.

Yanbu, as my nan always say you live for the living not the dead.

Well the 2 fathers are asking you not to as I read it. Your dh and df said it might upset your mil so be guided by them.

It's a bit of a daft tradition anyway really made up by card companies.

Just go over next weekend or when you are free as a family.

If they don't want to, why force it?

I think you should celebrate Father's Day like you would normally .YANBU.

Could you put a different spin on it? Ie use the day to honor his memory? Remembering what a good father/FIL he was? Gone but not forgotten and all that?

Dh said we should go. That was yesterday. He is now ill ( or so he says) and can't go. . Mil wants to stay home to look after him ( she is currently mopping his brow and acting like he is on his death bed) my family try to establish friendship with Dh's family, which frequently get rebuffed. So I said I thought she should go or it would look like a slight. She is now sulking. I've been a cow haven't I?

Leave them to it then and you go.

I realise this is too late now, but...

I think they might be reading too much into the significance of 'Father's Day'. (and I speak of someone whose Dad has died). You've been invited for a family Sunday lunch. Your MiL is staying with you and your sister has been kind enough to invite her to. A nice family meal. You can't avoid going out / being part of family "do's" because you were widowed 2 years ago. Well, I suppose you can, but it's rather a sad way to live your life.

Thanks all xx