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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my Husband to know the date of my birthday after 15 years

21 replies

moveoverhogger · 15/06/2013 12:24

He was resetting a password for one of our accounts that required some security questions to be answered here's how it went:

Him: your birthday is the 21st isn't it
Me: I'm not even going to answer that you should know what date my birthday is
Him: just tell me, it's either the 21st or 22nd
Me: you should know what date my birthday is
Him: oh fine I'm going with 22nd then

I was visibly pissed off & he eventually asked me what was wrong. I told him I'm insulted that after 15yrs he doesn't know what date my birthday is. Apparently I'm being unreasonable & he's now trying to make out I'm the one in the wrong, has stormed off upstairs, all without apologising.

So aibu to be insulted that after 15yrs he doesn't know the date of my birthday?

OP posts:

thebody · 15/06/2013 12:33

Resigned to be honest. My dh gets all our birthday dates wrong. Mind and the kids.

He's good at other things though.

ChunkyChicken · 15/06/2013 12:35

YANBU. It's not like it changes from one year to the next. He should WRITE IT DOWN somewhere if he really, really is incapable of that huge feat of memory. I bet you remember his & the DC, his Mum, Dad etc etc

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/06/2013 12:35

Tbh in that situation I wouldn't have made an issue of it, or we would have had a joke about it.

So it sounds like you have other reasons to be annoyed with him.

ARealDame · 15/06/2013 12:36

I am terrible at birthday dates, and tbh feel a bit irritated that as a woman I am meant to remember them as an important social duty. I don't even remember friends' dates, and just about remember my son's. But birthdays don't mean anything to me. If someone invites me to a birthday party or bash I would bring a card/pressie, but otherwise I don't get what all the excitement is.

cardibach · 15/06/2013 12:52

I struggle to remember my own, to be honest. I can do DDs, and have recently (in about the last 5-10 year, and I'm 48) achieved confidence with my immediate family's dates. Some people just can't do it - is he good with numbers otherwise? I ask because I am dyscalculic and I think it is associated with that in my case. I use Moonpig to make sure I don't forget any.
If that is the only way he is a bit crap I think Y probably ABU

Original poster

moveoverhogger · 15/06/2013 12:53

Tbh On reflection I think it's more his reaction that has pissed me off. I still think he should know my birthday but rather than make a joke of it and say oh you know what I'm like, he's got the arse with me, like I'm the one who's made the error.

It's put a damper on what was otherwise a lovely day, we've been shopping & took dd to the park & were all in great moods.

OP posts:

Iaintdunnuffink · 15/06/2013 15:03

I've been married 12 years and can't remember my husbands birthday I know it's one of three dates, thank god for google calendar to tell me. I'm always have to think about one of my sons birthdays too, Is it the 14th or 15th?

You were making the password account process more drawn it than it needed to be. Sorry, you were being a bit unreasonable.

ilovexmastime · 15/06/2013 15:09

I can never remember the date of DH's birthday, I get it confused with the dog's. It doesn't mean I don't love him, my brain just gets confused.

squoosh · 15/06/2013 15:12

I can see why you're hurt, I would be too. But some people are really rubbish at retaining dates in their head.

diddl · 15/06/2013 15:51

We've been together 20yrs, married 18.

I can't remember my husband's birthday or our wedding anniversary.

They just won't stick.

canuck43 · 15/06/2013 15:54

I married a man with the same birthday as me so we dont forget and wedding anniversary is three days later.

Tee2072 · 15/06/2013 15:58

Mine he knows. Our son's? He has to think.

To be fair, I can't remember what year he was born half the time.

Pollydon · 15/06/2013 16:06

Well, my dad can never get my brother's & my birthday right, (our birthdays are 3 days apart), but he is still a great dad

SauceForTheGander · 15/06/2013 16:13

I got my anniversary wrong and DH's birthday. If he hasn't used his birthday as his iPhone pin I'd have had to wing it forever. As for my anniversary my SIL told me the right day.

amigababy · 15/06/2013 16:14

dh can't remember his df 's birthday. but can remember which footballer scored a particular goal in a particular match 40 years ago, and what he was doing at the time!

DramaAlpaca · 15/06/2013 16:15

DH & I both managed to forget our wedding anniversary this year.

We've clearly been married too long.

Bunbaker · 15/06/2013 16:23

OH can never remember birthdays, anniversaries or things like Mothering Sunday. They aren't important to him so he just doesn't think about them. He says he doesn't want people to play the martyr with him because he is expected to remember these things and therefore asks to be reminded near the time..

Sallystyle · 15/06/2013 16:30

I always forget his DOB. I love him to bits, but I am crap with dates.

Nothing more to it than that.

EMUZ · 15/06/2013 17:24

My dad can't remember mine, and I'm an only child
But ask him all the car registrations he's ever owned...

Original poster

moveoverhogger · 15/06/2013 17:32

Ok fair enough then I was probably being a bit unreasonable. I'll forgive him cos he's made me a cuppa and brought me some biscuits .

OP posts:

Sparklymommy · 15/06/2013 17:40

I got married on my birthday. That way he only has 1 date to remember. And he still can't do it!

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