To not tell all and sundry my stuff

[Hardhaton]

My ds4 is 3 in August, he doesn't speak v much. He can say all the family names (not perfectly), juice, please thank you, sorry, yes, no wee wee poo. And count to 10. He will not say a whole sentence tho. I have taken him to a doc who tells me that because when ds was 4 months he nearly died from pneumonia that his chest and throat are slightly behind in development. His right lung was full of puss from infection and his left was only 24 hours from collapse, he had a feeding tube and oxygen for 7 days. Though all of this he is still a strong and big (he is the size of my ds2 who is 6).
People I know from the school will talk to him and then say to me why isn't he talking yet blah blah. I don't wanna tell them his life story it has fuck all to do with them.
He starts pre school in sept, I have obviously told them all the ins and outs but aibu to not wanna tell people who have no interest in knowing me or my family other than to discuss school stuff with.

Tell them he wasn't actually interested in their conversation!!

Seriously no of course not, just smile and change the subject.

Some 4 year olds are quiet anyway.

If he was showing signs of other problems then I would be more worries, but he babbles along as he's playing and sings along in the car. Other people just piss me off I think!
Think I need to have a bubble around me!

I find must people at school chat to be friendly and pass the time while waiting for their children - not because they're nosy and want to know the ins and outs of your private family life.

Just brush then off with "oh he's shy" if you really don't want to say anything else.

My youngest is also taking his time speaking, and about the same age as yours. it is nothing to worry about, as your Dr said, and it really is no-one's business. He is not saying sentences either.

I just say 'He is the strong silent type' and leave it at that. But, it really IS no-one's business.

'oh he's shy' is probably even better.

I hate this kind of stuff! My DD is nearly 2 & hasn't said a word. She babbles, hums melodies & had started to roar like a lion! At her development check the HV was concerned about her lack of speech & wants to send her to a speech therapist. Of course I'll take her up on her offer but why do all kids have to develop at same rate?

Hope your DS is fine now health wise ;)

I think people are just nosey concerned and all you need to say is och he is just the quiet type or something, and then change the subject, did the doctor refer you to a speach and language therapist it would probably be a good idea if he was referred to help him , ( isound like one of those nosey people I dont mean to be )

I have a DS with speech delay - no idea why, he just has. It's hard for him and it's hard for us.

He's 6 and he's catching up, he can talk in sentences, people now understand him and he's starting to read etc.

It took me a while, but I have found it easier to be honest and say that he has speech delay, he is getting treatment and that he is improving all the time - that is as far as I go and don't engage in any "quack" solutions.

Making excuses will just increase the gossip - being honest tends to stop people in their tracks.

"why do all kids have to develop at same rate?"

There are some things that all children should be hitting in the same timescales, or it could mean there is a problem.

If a health or child professional expresses a concern, it isn't the same as a stranger. They do it to make sure that the child is getting any help that is needed.

My DD (now 15) has SAL problems, along with delayed development (now gone), which was ignored for to long. I think that her speech would have been much better had she of been given intervention earlier and regulary.

OP, i don't think that there is any shame is just saying that he has a delay because of health problems. They could explain this to their children, this prevents name calling etc.

It isn't ever to soon to discuss "difference" with our children, there are a range of children in every year with issues, or additional needs.

I would like to say they are just interested but really they are just nosey!
We have been referred to the speech people just waiting on appointments. It doesn't help that he is the youngest of 4 so he only has to screech and one of the others will just just get him what he wants without asking him to say the word.

And his health is fine now. He only needs an inhaler if he has a cold. All of his other developments have been roughly on time.

if his siblings are getting stuff for him what is the need to talk SALT will help him I know a wee girl with speech delay and after a few months at SALT you cant shut her up, ignore the nosy people

My DS1 had undiagnosed glue ear so his speech was very indistinct for a long time. I was the only person who understood him and tbh I struggled at times. I don't remember anyone particularly commenting, so not much of use to say there I'm afraid.

But I would say, rather than saying 'he's shy,' it might be better to say something like 'he's feeling shy today,' or 'he's not in the mood to chat today.' Just because it avoids labelling him as 'shy,' when he isn't necessarily, but could end up living up to that description.
Small point but I think it's best to avoid that sort of label if you possibly can.
He sounds like a great little lad.