To not make a massive effort for Father's Day for dh?

[Stillhopingstillhere]

For Father's Day this year ds and I have made a card and I have bought dh a golf belt (£40). Fair enough he chose it himself so it isn't a surprise but at least it's something he wants. £40 is at the very top end of what I can afford so he won't be getting anything else. Ds told him there was a surprise - meaning the card - and dh got all excited about what it might be. Then looked crestfallen when I warned him not to get too excited he was only having his belt! He will also get breakfast in bed Sunday morning.

For mother's I chose myself a swimsuit from tesco (£15 I think or thereabouts), dh gave me the money. He didn't wrap it and presented it in a tesco bag. I had a shop brought card with 'from your little girl' on it, dh had crossed out girl and written 'boy' apparently he got it Saturday evening and it was the only thing our newsagent had left. Then he left me to get up with ds, had a lie in himself and buggered off to play golf.

So I actually think compared to the level of thought put into Mother's Day he can't really complain! Aibu?

I'm sorry, but I also think it sounds a bit odd. What is the point of buying gifts for each other that you've chosen, and then pretend they are from DS? I can sort of understand that at Xmas, but Fathers Day is not about gifts for us. And to compare the prices?? You both sound about 14 to be honest.

I think it's perfectly normal to buy presents on behalf of your children til they are old enough. Nothing big and fancy though - a cup, keyring, a nice funny t shirt or something like that.

I will probably get a mug or something for my partner as it's his first year being a Dad. I think it's nice to do - otherwise the kids may wonder why all of a sudden fathers day is a thing in the house and never was before. Mum helped me buy things for Dad until I was 7/8 and then she'd help me too but I'd pick it out and put some of my money towards the present.

However it does seem a bit of a tit for tat. It's rather unpleasant that he's so thoughtless on mothers day but if he didn't bother with fathers day at least I'd find that alright but if he expects a great deal for fathers day that's a little selfish. Is he often selfish? It sounds like you aren't that happy with him in general, to be honest.

He should be greatful with a nice card from his son and a little present that you and ds chose together and thought he would like.

Oh and my Dad used to always just love a nice breakfast in bed - which I think is a lovely idea for the Mum's to do; it's not a present, but it's allowing them an extra bit of relaxation.

i remind my kids its Father's Day coming up and that's it. i look after my Dad on Father's Day. i enjoy giving the kids the responsibility of thinking of someone else for a day. if he's disappointed, shame on him.

I don't necessarily agree with tit for tat. But I don't think I'd be making much effort for your DH. And it's not about the money, it's about the thought.

Perhaps this is a good chance to explain to your DH how you'd like these days to work in future. As you can see from the other responses, every family treats them differently and make differing levels of effort and so maybe he needs it to spelled out to him.