AIBU to be incredulous that this really does happen IRL?!

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

Just saw a carpark skirmish between a car with a blue badge and a car with a baby, over the last parent and child space, at a big chain supermarket. All disabled bays were full, only one PAC space left, both car reach the space at the same time. Man in blue badge holding car waves blue badge from window, people with child in the car kick off and start shouting about how he should park in the disabled bays, saying that they don't care if they are all full that is a parent and child space. I just kind of stood there open mouthed. Plenty of space to park further back in the car park as it wasn't that full. Oh, and no one was going to dissolve because the carpark is under cover.

I'm just that this really actually happens in real life! I thought it was kind of a internet ranty thing and that no one would be dickheaded enough to actually challenge a blue badge holder's right to use a PAC space outside of the internet!

And now I feel like I should have said something, but the shouty parents didn't seem like they were the type to listen to anything except the sound of their own voices.

So am I BU and very naive?

As someone upthread said, it's just a cynical marketing ploy that shows no respect for elderly people and affirms this idea amongst some parents that they are part of an elite group who take precedence over everyone else, at all times, and in all situations because they have produced God's gift to the world.

When my children were small there was no such thing as P&C spaces. You parked in the car park like everyone else.

Amazingly enough somehow we parents managed to get our babies/children out of the car, car seats and all, and into prams or into the trolleys without having a melt down. It really wasn't that difficult.

Quote, what an absolutely fantastic idea. I have wondered if I should do this to myself. More from a respect and understanding POV for the elderly and disabled people I care for, but in terms of shopping and getting in and out of a car, I should probably try it as well.

Having a disability is not a life choice.
Having a baby is.

Disability trumps kids.

I've never subscribed to the view that parent and child spaces are somehow an entitlement or right and we have 5 children between us. I'm no Liz Jones but nobody made us have kids.

Ooh, a bonkers parking thread.

If the parent gets to the P&C space first, then they are entitled to park there. If the disabled person gets there first, they too can park there.

But if you are disabled, then waving a badge at someone already in the space is just going to piss them off and make you look very rude.

I bet you subscribe to the ludicrous "first come first served" argument about wheelchairs and buggies on buses too

I have a blue badge and 2 children, so do I win? ;)

It's certainly ludicrous to leave a person on the side of the road because someone won't fold their pushchair.

But I don't see how that's relevant to observing that shaking a badge at someone is not a very effective means of communication.

PatPig, he didn't wave his permit at parents who were already in the space. They both arrived at the same time and he presumably waved his pass to let them know he really needed the space. The parents, on the other hand, could park somewhere else and walk back to the supermarket. The disabled person couldn't. But the thick self centred parents couldn't grasp this.

There you go, PatPig proving the exception to the rule that all parents of children with SN are on the same side of the BB argument.
So you'd be fine with doing a smirk at a person with a disability, because you got there first?
Even more reason for P&C places to be at the furthest end of the car park.
Relying on people's innate good nature doesn't work well enough.

Ignore PatPig.

Not worth engaging with.

I didn't say anything about smirking, I was just observing that waving a badge at someone is a gesture that is likely to annoy people. People in cars can be very rude.

Didn't see what happened myself, it's not clear from the OP how two people can be in the same space, so just making an observation really.

Ah Prince and Princess parenting. They don't really do anyone any favours do they?

Without meaning to be rude, the argument about people choosing to have children comes up in a lot of discussion as reasons why parents shouldn't have a helping hand. It's a pretty weak argument most of the time - someone has to have children and when they don't there won't be anyone around to debate with :D

There are so many good reasons why it would have been kinder to let the disabled person use the space the old "you chose to have kids therefore..." doesn't even need to come into it.

Anyone who seriously thinks being a parent gives more entitlement to sparking spaces than a disabled person is an arsehole. There is a reason blue badges comes with the provisions of stopping pretty much wherever they like.

And no, being a parent of small children isn't that hard, compared to living with a disability day in day out - anyone who thinks differently should suck it the fuck up.

I think the OP made it quite clear PatPig:
All disabled bays were full, only one PAC space left, both car reach the space at the same time. Man in blue badge holding car waves blue badge from window.

I really don't get why waving his blue badge is a rude gesture. I don't get the impression he was waving it angrily and aggressively around; just letting the other couple know he was disabled and that was why he wanted the space. How else was he to let them know? Normal parents would have just smiled and waved him ahead of them, not started some ludicrous argument.

QuoteUnquote is a person after my own heart!

I used to work in design and innovation processes, and it was always a great source of shock, surprise and insight to get designers, marketing, agency, R&D etc to experience first hand what the experience is like. So, actually doing some washing by hand, or using a pregnancy test etc... then I became disabled.

Heartily agree with making people go through the experience of being wheelchair bound, or blind.

The only thing is, how can you get people to experience whole body disability? i am thinking make them do a long distance run and wait until they are wobbly and nauseous and can't move themselves any more... then make them go around a supermarket or car park. Might draw attention to the hidden difficulties inherent in spaces... and the way people judge and don't care... as who would speed up to let the panting man in a suit through? To show them that spaces have to be inherently designed to direct people to do the right thing and not rely on other people making an exception.

OXO is a great example of inclusive design, instead of making ugly and rubbish 'disability adapted' products, why not make products that make life easier by being a superior product, and then everyone wants to use it too, such as their veg peeler! cant we do the same for store and public space design?

just to agree with Vintageclock, I suspect the person may have ended p waving the badge as 'proof' that people need to be a bit more thoughtful.

how many times has someone written on here that 'they didn't' look disabled'? showing the blue badge cuts out the outrageous conversations people have to have, asking personal and private information on their condition before judging the person worthy of the space/ help/ seat/ consideration etc

I do try and join in these threads no matter how much they upset me (this one hasn't been too bad actually - yay!), as I think its important that people learn more about how their own actions can be unproductive and upsetting to a disabled person. A lot of it is through lack of knowledge allowing people to assume they have entitlement, when they really don't understand what it is to be disabled...

how many times has someone written on here that 'they didn't' look disabled'? showing the blue badge cuts out the outrageous conversations people have to have, asking personal and private information on their condition before judging the person worthy of the space/ help/ seat/ consideration etc

too many but dont you know disabled people are meant to just fall out their car and crawl into the shops

I really do get annoyed when I read or hear oh but they dont look disabled why do they need a blue badge what does the average disabled person look l really dont think we (the disabled ) need to carry banners or sticks or wheel chairs to prove disability ,

It doesn't seem very fair that the parents (assuming their children were young enough to justify a P&C space) should have to surrender the space to a blue badge holder

What?????

Wait until you have a mobility impairment. It can happen to any9one.

But it doesn't surprise me. Some of the most selfish behaviour I have seen towards those with mobility impairment has been from parents with children. Some people think that just because they have reproduced they are special. The rest of us just get on with it.

We should remember we're all only TABs.

Temporarily
Able
Bodied.

For years parents with prams folded. Now they refuse to fold and wont move for wheelchairs

I've seen this with my own eyes. The mothers just laughed at the guy stuck at the bus stop in the pouring rain and unable to get on the bus, because they wouldn't move their prams.

Doublelife can you tell me about OXO please?

Like a previous poster I've seen a car pull into the last BB space then the driver leave the disabled person in the car while she went to do her shopping.
To be fair this is against the rules, look here. It clearly states You are also not allowed to use your blue badge if you do not intend to leave the vehicle while it is parked. For example, if you stayed in the car while someone else went shopping and displayed your blue badge, the police or a traffic warden could take action against you.

I think a lot of the time the problem with P&C bays is that people are brainwashed. They have a list of things in their head that you DO when you have a baby:- buy the right buggy, decorate the nursery with winnie the pooh, make a birthplan, oh and park in P&C spaces. It doesn't seem to occur to them that they could cope without doing so, or that anyone else's need could be greater than theirs. They are in a little baby-magazine-hyped bubble of how to be a parent. Also they put the spaces there for a reason right? It must be virtually impossible to take your baby shopping if you can't use the designated bay otherwise why would they be there?

Sorry but a lot of the time people are not selfish or entitled, they are just stupid and too used to blundering through life having to be told what to do and how to think. I mean, how mad is it that the idea of disabled drivers taking priority has to be spelled out? It should be obvious to everyone, yet plainly it isn't, and we've seen from this thread that most people are perfectly reasonable about it once the reasoning is pointed out to them.

Hello, just to clarify that he wasn't waving it in an aggressive fashion, just in a kind of 'we've got a blue badge, that's why we're using this space , cheers!' way. And then the other car got arsey and he held it up, I think to make sure they had heard him/seen it, rather than using it as some kind of divine right to do whatever he pleases.