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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate this age?

23 replies

smallfaces · 13/06/2013 15:10

My ds is nearly 2. I love him with all my heart but I'm finding things particularly tough now.

I have to watch him constantly, he doesn't seem to want to play with any of his own things, just what he's not meant to. It's impossible to keep everything out of his reach all the time. I'm sick of things getting broken. I'm forever saying no to the point where I'm nearly in tears. He won't nap any more and when it's finally bedtime he just gets out, this has been going on for weeks. I pay him no attention, just put him back in and leave the room. He can get out a cot so bringing that back would be no use. He makes noise all the time, high pitched screaming - happy noises but after a few hours of this it starts to get to me. He doesn't seem to understand quiet. I don't even get 5 minutes to have a pee in peace.

The only time I do get to myself is when he's at his dads (once a week) but I always work 7.30am to 8.00pm so by the time I get home I'm pretty much straight to bed then he'd back early the next morning. I feel so incredibly selfish for hating this at the moment, like I'm a bad mum. I feel so deflated at the moment.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/06/2013 15:12

We all have ages we are great at and ages we hate. I hated the baby phase. Sooooo boring. I love the toddler thing. I sucked at baby care and was useless at it. I can just about deal with a 2 yo. Wait, you will be great at 4 or 7 or the magical 13-18.

Is there any way you can get a break? Family, friends? Swap babysitting with someone?

Original poster

smallfaces · 13/06/2013 15:12

Also, tantrums whenever he isn't allowed to do whatever he wants. Proper screaming, purple faced tantrums.

OP posts:

MorganMummy · 13/06/2013 15:14

YANBU. The only thing is they seem to pass. I remember thinking my DS was lovely at 15 months and really not impressed with him at 18 months! He was great for a few months earlier this year and now he's 2.6 and really rather tiresome a lot of the time.

It's really hard that you're on your own. I need my peace in the evenings when DS is in bed to have some quiet and ignore DH as I need to not be talked to. Is there anyway you can get some time to yourself like a babysitter once a week or so? I did an evening class starting when DS was nearly one and it saved my sanity.

BeetleBugBaby · 13/06/2013 15:14

When he tantrums, do what I do with my almost 2 year old. Calmly step over them and walk away. If he is not getting the attention he thinks a tantrum will grant him, he will give up hopefully.

cory · 13/06/2013 15:17

'twill pass, 'twill pass.

soon he will be bringing you cups of coffee and offering to do the washing up to sweeten you up before he broaches the question of sleepovers with girls and alcohol

Original poster

smallfaces · 13/06/2013 15:18

My mum has him on work days after nursery until I finish so I feel incredibly guilty asking her for extras as he's such a handful just now. She would do it but she wouldn't be happy about it. It's easier just not to ask

OP posts:

thebody · 13/06/2013 15:18

He sounds completely normal and so do you.

Tough with two of you let alone just yourself.

This will pass honestly, as previous posters have said can you get a babysitter sometimes to get time out.?

You are most definatly not a bad mother or al

thebody · 13/06/2013 15:19

Dam phone) or alone in feeling like this.

wetnoodle · 13/06/2013 15:21

YANBU. From 18 month to about 6 weeks ago I would have snapped at the chance to send DS to toddler boarding school

He's 2.8 now and he is getting MUCH easier. Now he's more in control of his body, getting a much better understanding of boundaries and is becoming independent (e.g. he'll happily play on his own for 30-45 mins with his cars, trains, etc).

He still has tantrums but I'm able to rationalise with him (a bit) and hearing his take on the world around him is so funny it makes up for a lot of the nonsense.

cory · 13/06/2013 15:22

It's funny: through all these years of parenting babies and toddlers and infants school children and pre-teens and teens, nothing else has ever been able to send my blood pressure soaring like that toddler whining. I can cope with pre-teen back-chat, I can cope with teen hormones, I can cope with waiting up late for returning party goers, as long as I don't have to listen to that high pitched noise again.

MrsLyman · 13/06/2013 15:23

YANBU my PFB is 2 and a bit and is a total nightmare at times.

I just figure that because sending your children to boarding school at 5 is no longer the done thing, it must get better.

have some

valiumredhead · 13/06/2013 15:25

I'd swap a purple faced screaming toddler over a stroppy know it all teen any day

SerotoninCanEatTomorrow · 13/06/2013 15:35

I have the ultimate threenager at home just now. And my back is broken. Literally, so I am stuck with non-stop talking and fidgeting and muuuummmmmiiiiiieeeeeee and I'm hungry/thirsty/not feeling well

And I am fed up and miserable and keep posting on hairy-handed threads and missing the deletion messages so I don't know what went wrong.

I am so with you.

This Too Shall Pass

trackies · 13/06/2013 15:39

YANBU, i have found 2 really hard with both DC's. It will get better though. This wont last forever.

FobblyWoof · 13/06/2013 15:47

If it makes you feel any better my DC2 is due a little more than a month before DD turns two! Am dreading it!

You're not bad for not enjoying it. We've removed almost anything that can be broken (read: anything remotely nice) and I think I'm really going to enjoy getting some of my house back in a few years.

KellyElly · 13/06/2013 16:32

Two is a really tough age and they don't have the understanding they do after three and it can feel a bit like a battle. Saying that three is the cheeky age where they test the boundries. I'm thinking 5/6 will be an easier age (hoping)

Hopasholic · 13/06/2013 16:38

It will pass, honestly! 'toddler taming' was my bible. I saw a copy of it in my doctors surgery last week so I presume it's still in print.
My DC's are 11 & 13 now so I just get grunted at by the 13 year old.
It is relentless when you're in the midst of it, when will he get his free nursery hours?
I know it sounds patronising but the old theory of 'Ignore the bad, praise the good' really does work ( for all ages) sometimes easier said than done I know,but go really OTT on the good stuff and hopefully you'll see some improvement. The other thing they respond well to is a bit of reverse psychology 'I bet you can't get all those building blocks back in the box..... Finish all your veg.........
(might be a bit young for that at two but definitely works from 3 & up.... One for the future)

Good luck

primallass · 13/06/2013 16:47

That was my favourite age. I have hated 3-5 with both of mine.

HandMini · 13/06/2013 16:50

YANBU. Such a tough age. Like you, I feel "deflated" with the sheer tiringness of it when I'm not with DD and constantly on edge / shouty when I am with her. Sucks.

mrsjay · 13/06/2013 16:50

Also, tantrums whenever he isn't allowed to do whatever he wants. Proper screaming, purple faced tantrums.

thats normal for a 2 year old they do understand no they just dont like it sometimes, don't try and reason with him let him tantrum and then ask if he is ok and give hima hug . I liked the toddler stage even with the tantrums and dd1 was epic at them , you just need to learn to relax about it give him little choice of toys and lots of running about , I personally didnt like between 7 and 10 they are really annoying

BarbaraWoodlouse · 13/06/2013 21:28

I had a private bet before opening this thread that "this age" would be somewhere between 19 & 26 months

I agree it's a really tough age. Go to run so no sage advice from me but lots of reassurance that this will pass.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/06/2013 00:31

How is it then that I never see anyone else having to manhandle their toddler out of the library while she kicks, screams and wails? I think I might not be able to go back...

stopgap · 14/06/2013 00:39

They're all so different, MrsTerryPratchett. My friend's two-year-old (who's easily the size of a three-year-old) regularly has meltdowns that require pro-wrestling moves to remove him from the library, the book shop, etc.

My 22-month-old can be a tad whiny sometimes, but he's laid-back and dead easy overall (and I bloody well deserve this grace period, after the raging colic that dominated his first year .

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