to think this is an over-reaction?

[vicky228]

I genuinely don't know so interested to hear views...

DSis is getting married in 10 days. I let her know yesterday that DS1 has chicken pox and although he is already nearly over it and will be fine by the wedding, DS2 hasn't had it yet and she might want to tell any pregnant guests to steer clear of DS2 just in case he is incubating it (we would obviously also keep him away from anyone obviously pregnant). DS2 has now been 'uninvited' from the wedding.

I have told her that's fine and reassured her that she must do what she is comfortable with for her wedding etc etc but was a little surprised. Is it normal to keep siblings away from the public until any danger of them having caught chicken pox has passed?

Seems a bit OTT to me unless she's got loads of pregnant women coming who all haven't had chickenpox...but maybe she's very stressed and doesn't want another headache (thinking back to my own wedding of hideous family ructions and stress). I think YABalittleU unless it makes your life very difficult now childcare-wise.

Do you know what? I reckon your sister is pg.

Maybe she's pregnant? Or knows a friend is?

It will be a little difficult, juggling childcare, but I honestly don't mind that. It is far more important that she enjoys her wedding without worrying!

I just didn't know protocol with a child that hasn't got chicken spots yet but is more likely than the average child to be about to have it.

Has she had chickenpox? Intrigued now if an early pregnancy could be the reason..

I don't think she's over-reacting. She could, as BoysAreLike says, be pregnant. She may have a number of friends who are TTC and who won't yet know they're pregnant. And lastly, would you want your wedding to be remembered by anyone as "the one where I caught chickenpox"? YABU.

yeah i agree. she might be or know someone who is preg.

My cousin's kid caught CP and was invited to family event 2-3 weeks later. The other sibling had not yet caught it but my aunt (her mum) advised her not to go as it was highly likely that sibling would be a carrier and pregnant me was going, and she said it wouldn't be fair knowing that the sibling is very likely to have it. So she didn't go.

It's not just pg women who are at risk (elderly/young/sick). Plus if you DS does come down with then, what are the chances he's going to be grizzly and unhappy?

Yes, but am I being stupid, it's only pregnant people who haven't had CP who are at risk (or baby is)? I can see why she wouldn't reveal is she's pregnant and wouldn't want to ask all female guests to state if they are or not and whether they've had it or not, obviously!

However, I worked in a school while pregnant and we were routinely told of cases of CP but only a worry if we'd not had CP. I thought most people had, but maybe rates are lower than I thought.

MorganMummy, it's also an issue if a guest is immuno-supressed, having treatment for cancer etc. and again she may not know of these.

Plus you can get it twice if you've only had a mild dose.

You can catch chicken pox twice: both dd and I did. Immunity isn't always life long. I had it very mildly the first time so wasn't that surprised but dd was delirious with a high fever the first time and still managed to catch it again 5 years later.

I don't think she's overreacting at all. Who wants to be known as as the bride whose wedding was where everyone caught chicken pox? Not to mention the "spotty child ruining the photos" potential.

You can catch it twice as I have.

I think your sister is a bit ott to 'uninvite' your dd but to be honest I would think you would be a bit silly to take her just in case. Difficult one. Could you leave them with mil?

PPS, thank you. I am really not very bright not to have considered that, ! I will bear it in mind for quarantine when DS finally succumbs.

People get really wound up about chickenpox. She is right to be cautious, maybe a bit over cautious as he may not even have it.

But it does really suck. I was told not to go to a family party as ds1 had chickenpox (all scabbed over) just in case our cousins 2 boys caught it. I was very pissed off as I had cabin fever after being stuck with a sick 11month old for 2 weeks. Karma got its own back though as both boys caught it the next week anyway.

"Yes, but am I being stupid, it's only pregnant people who haven't had CP who are at risk"

I am immune suppressed (very few people know this), i get CP again and again and i get complications from it.

Lots of people can get complications from coming into contact with someone with CP, those on, certain meds, treatments, who have underlying health conditions and the elderly.

I was told that the CP virus is mutating and has different strains, as do most viruses, so even a healthy person can get it again.

I wondered if she was pregnant, or who has a friend who is immune suppressed, having chemo/radiation and wants to keep it private.

CP can be really bad for some people. A friend caught it whilst pregnant and ended up in intensive care. Shingles is very painful too and given the close proximity of everyone for hours I wouldn't like to be the one who hears about bringing it to even one person year after year. Of course it may not happen but would you be happy if someone the tables were turned and someone else brought it to the group?

Really interesting to hear the perspectives, thank you. As I said, the 'uninviting' decision itself didn't bother me at all, but I am now thinking I should be careful about where I take DS2 for the next couple of weeks, til I'm sure he's clear (or he gets it!).