to want to have breakfast and get through morning routine together and give up lie-ins?

[PrincessScrumpy]

I know I'm bu but wondered if anyone can help me find a compromise.
Dh and I have 3dds dd1 is 5 and dtds are 21mo. From about the time dtds were 6mo dh and I have taken turns to get up in the morning. This worked as often they'd wake at 5.30am and there's no point us both being knackered. The other would lay in until about 7.40am. All was fine.
Recently, I've felt a bit down but struggled to figure out why. Dtds are at the tantrum stage and behave far worse for me than dh so I put it down to that. But, I dread the mornings I have to get up with DC. I don't know why exactly as it's usually fairly manageable, but maybe because I look after DC everyday on my own until 6.30pm and want to do a bit more joint parenting. Dh already misses dinner every night so breakfast together would be lovely and mornings less manic.
I know dh won't like the fact I'm taking his lie-ins away but dc don't often get up before 7am now anyway, so what does the mumsnet jury suggest?

Sorry, what's this "lie-in" you speak of?

In our house when I was off woth dd (now back at work), DH got up with the baby on weekdays and sorted her while getting himself ready. He would then wake me when he was ready to leave. Tbh in the first few weeks he would give dd her milk and put her back down and we would both then wake at aroubd 9am.

At the weekends, we would take turns for a lie in.

Would this set up.work for you?

I think it should be one up all up, all hands on deck therefore taking the pressure off a bit, and then maybe take it in turns for a lie-in at the weekends.

What time does the lie-in receiver get up?

Princess I think there are many benefits of a family eating together - you can prob find them on here or a sunday paper website, and maybe you can use that as a route if the simple childcare/exhaustion reality is not likely to get the result you want! Call me a bit manipulative canny but maybe a casual chat with DH starting with I'd like for us to get into a routine of eating together every day as a family.... don't mind when... what mealtime do you think would be most practical? I think its also worth keeping a lie in each - maybe at the weekend - and eat together at lunch/dinner as suits you best.

Good luck!

Should add, now that we are both working ft, the one who is at work gets up with the toddler. If im.on a late (2-11pm), he gets up with dd. If Im at work.on the weekends, I get up with dd and wake dh before I leave the house.

I think suggesting that for some of the mornings would be fine, but I would be very irritated if a routine I felt was working well was suddenly told that dh didn't like it and it wasn't happening again.
Room for discussion, there. If he feels the same, then it's fine, but I think going from lie ins every other day to never having one is, to me, a big leap. I think the idea of all getting up weekdays, but you each having a lie in at the weekend is a good one.

I had glandular fever in my early 20s and I need to occasionally have a good lie in ever since. Never needed one before that, but I get to the point I am actually feeling flu like if I don't have one morning where it doesn't feel like I am under pressure to get up. I have a friend who hates lying in after 6am, so not everyone feels the same.

We used to do every other lie-ins at weekends when ds was a baby, but knocked it on the head once he was old enough to get out of bed on his own as he came in our room anyway. Now one of us gets up first, gets washed, feeds the cat etc, and then has the responsibility of helping ds get dressed while the other lies in bed for the extra ten minutes (not asleep but still warm and cosy). Then we all have breakfast together. It works for us, and we still feel we have a tiny weenie bit of pleasure by not having the responsibility of being the parent in charge every other day. Would that work for you?

I agree with taking it in turns at the weekend, dp and I do this and I would begrudge having my Saturday morning lie in taken away!

7am is a reasonable time to be up for work anyway?!

Forgot to mention I also work around dc but with out childcare so when they nap and evenings. I'm not just watching tv while they sleep (mostly) ;)

What time do they get up now and what time does the lie-inner get up?

We used to do the taking it in turns thing as well but it just started to get silly, squabbling over who had a lie in last, who's was longer, etc etc.

We gave up and started getting up together, was much nicer to have those mornings as a family. If one of us is very tired then we have a lie in or a nap later in the day if we're not busy.

Surely whoever gets up doesn't need to sort breakfast etc if the other is up 7.40 anyway?

Can you just say breakfast is at say 7.45 each morning ( or whenever and all eat together. If children wake at 5.30am they have to just have a boring morning of quiet playing until a reasonable hour for fun/ breakfast? And hopefully learn not to wake up so early as nothing happens until x oclock

I feel a bit like you op, me and dh tend to take turns at weekends, but sometimes I think it's nice just to all get up and have breakfast together, especially as we can't do that in the week.

Dds usually get up at 7am and lie in is until 7.40am but then person gets themselves ready so gets downstairs by 8am and we leave at 8.15am for school/work.

Spoken to dh and he took it better than I thought as long as he gets the planned lie in tomorrow (he does as he can't have one on Father's Day). Not sure it would be his choice but he didn't oppose the idea. He must know I've been a bit down recently so I think he is just happy he can do something to help.

Good for you princess x