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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to breastfeed a toddler?

46 replies

madmacbrock · 12/06/2013 22:14

I never set out to breastfeed for so long, in fact i wasnt even sure if i was going to do it at all.. but turns out we're actually pretty good at it. DS is 21mths and shows no signs of stopping, he get what he needs quite quickly, uses it for comfort now more than anything else and is fine not to have it when im not around. At first we had nothing but praise and support then as soon as he turned 6mths it was "do you think its time to stop?" and is now "you really should stop!"
Im happy to carry on, DS is happy to carry on DH is also happy for this to continue as long as DS wants it too.
Im not using it as some sort of emotional crutch (there are days where I cant wait for him to stop).
when i ask why i should stop i get jokes or told its weird, icky or best ever is it will psychologically damage ds!!!
WTF!!! I have been ignoring comments but this is really starting to get my goat. i find it strange that people find such a natural and medically benneficial thing so weird!!!
I have no intention of carring on till DS gets married or something and have no doubts that it will run its own natural course in no time.
Can anyone give me a real reason why breastfeeding should not carry on after 6mths!! (i can give you about half a dozen reasons why its proven to be a good thing) or if not a good way to shut them up for good!!!

OP posts:

McNewPants2013 · 12/06/2013 22:17

Give it up when either you or dc are willing to.

21 months is still a baby.

UniqueAndAmazing · 12/06/2013 22:17

iignore ignore ignore.

the world health organization recommends at least two years

I can't find the info right now, but I'm sure someone will.
there's a whole report you can print off to show the dissenters if you need to.

but really, tell them it's none of their business.

yanbi

jchocchip · 12/06/2013 22:17

Look up the World Health Organisation guidelines. Do whatever you feel happy with.

HollyBerryBush · 12/06/2013 22:17

Your choice. I dont understand why you want internet strangers to validate your choice.

pointythings · 12/06/2013 22:19

If I'd known then what I know now I would have fed for much longer than the 13 months I did with each of mine - it was two feeds a day (morning and evening) by then, and with 20/20 hindsight there would just not have been a problem continuing that and tandem feeding too. You need to do what makes you both happy, your LO will let you know when he's ready to stop.

UniqueAndAmazing · 12/06/2013 22:19

who pages on bfing

maddening · 12/06/2013 22:20

Ds is 28mths and we are still going - do what you want and sod the rest :)

Original poster

madmacbrock · 12/06/2013 22:20

hollyberrybush i dont need anyone to validate my choice I have absolute conviction that im doing the thing that feels best for me and DS but im confused as to why other people are so weirded out by it

OP posts:

McNewPants2013 · 12/06/2013 22:22

www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs342/en/

squashedbanana · 12/06/2013 22:22

A friend rang me this evening and the topic of breastfeeding came up. I am a single mother and have just started to date again. My son is 26 months. She told me to stop BF him now and that if I don't start to wean him soon he will never be able to stop and I will be breastfeeding him forever and I might aswell start to wean him because at the age of 6 or 7 they lose the ability to latch on. She also told me no man would ever want me if I was still BF, because what man would want to share my breasts.

I laughed, placated her and will ignore her, well meaning, good intentioned, advice.

bedmonster · 12/06/2013 22:23

Just feed for how long you want to.
Im happy to carry on, DS is happy to carry on DH is also happy for this to continue as long as DS wants it too.
So where's the problem?? I fail to see how me or anyone else saying YABU will change your mind anyway, just get on with it

UniqueAndAmazing · 12/06/2013 22:27

squashed wean him now because you'll be bfing forever but they lose the latch at 6 or 7? does your friend even listen to herself?

Bunnyjo · 12/06/2013 22:36

I fed DD until she was 27mth and DS is nearly 25mth and still going strong. If you're happy and your DS is happy then fuck sod everyone else.

pigletmania · 12/06/2013 22:38

Do what you feel is best, but you can't stop other people having opinions

Jan49 · 12/06/2013 22:45

Tell them you find it surprising that they think you should have stopped at 6 months since the official medical advice (World Health Organisation) suggests a minimum of 2 years so their suggestion is in fact against medical advice. Then change the subject. Or punch them.

NachoAddict · 12/06/2013 22:46

I am getting pressure to stop bf ds who is 11 months. I intend to carry on for awhile yet but do feel guilty about it.

Wholetthedogin · 12/06/2013 22:51

When I was extended breastfeeding DD my mum told me that if I continued she would end up with a boobie fixation and become a lesbian.
Yes, that is what she said.

Do what is right for you and your family and don't listen to everyone else!

DizzyPurple · 12/06/2013 22:53

As the others have said if you're happy, your child is happy what's the question? I breastfed DD2 until just after her 3rd birthday and then for a combination of reasons I felt it was time to stop. Sometimes I wish I'd done it longer but overall it was the right decision for us.

UniqueAndAmazing · 12/06/2013 22:55

nacho it's okay :)
I had people telling me I should stop because they couldn't handle bfing a baby with teeth.

I can't imagine telling dd she couldn't bf anymore. she needs it for comfort and nutrition.
and it's her choice.
it's hard enough stopping her helping herself while I'm seeving customers!

Smartiepants79 · 12/06/2013 22:57

I fed my DD1 til she was about 13 months. I never had any pressure from anyone to stop.
That said I am uncomfortable with older toddlers still feeding.

It is an irrational response and I can't really explain why and I would never suggest to anyone that they should stop.

SirBoobAlot · 12/06/2013 22:57

If you and your DC are happy, sod the rest of the world.

candyandyoga · 12/06/2013 23:07

People who say crap about this should be ignored - pat then on the shoulder and feel sorry for them that they think like that. I bf'd my for three years until they wanted to stop - and they had the goodness of breastmilk for three years is how I see it.

theaub · 12/06/2013 23:50

OP good for you. You are doing what feels right for you and your family and as it happens its also really beneficial for your child. So no problem there. Everyone else can mind their own. It's just one of those issues that some people get really invested in because they would prefer to see their own decisions validated by everyone else doing the same as they did. But every mum and each of her kids are different. so just smile and ignore silly comments.

Ludoole · 13/06/2013 00:01

I bf my youngest until he was 3 and just started nursery.
Needless to say he suffered no ill effects.
I didn't intend to bf so long but we stopped when he was comfortable to.

cosydressinggown · 13/06/2013 00:02

Oh who cares. I mean really. Do what you want to do, most people really, really don't give a toss!

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